prettycutie Posted August 5, 2015 Share Posted August 5, 2015 I just want some opinions from out there. So let's say a girl and and guy meet, things seem to go pretty well (and least from the girl's perspective). They continue to talk after meeting/date but the girl usually has to start a convo (i.e. texting/phonecall). If that is the case, does that usually mean the guy isn't interested or never was to begin with? I've heard different stories about it so just curious. Link to comment
Patrick974 Posted August 5, 2015 Share Posted August 5, 2015 Yes. I never buy the "Im busy" argument. At work during daytime, yes. In the evening during the week you have time to initiate a text, call or IM. Lack of interest, or just lost interest. Link to comment
prettycutie Posted August 5, 2015 Author Share Posted August 5, 2015 Yeah, that's what I figured. That's how I've always heard is a good way to tell if they've lost or lack of interest by never or rarely initiating. Link to comment
BigKK Posted August 5, 2015 Share Posted August 5, 2015 When I'm smitten by someone I will contact them. Granted some people play games to not come off as needy or over eager. But just don't contact him and see how long it takes. Link to comment
prettycutie Posted August 5, 2015 Author Share Posted August 5, 2015 When I'm smitten by someone I will contact them. Granted some people play games to not come off as needy or over eager. But just don't contact him and see how long it takes. Yeah, in the beginning he was initiating like texting me in the mornings then stopped. However when I do text him he replies, which with others, they never replied. So he's probably just a nice person and doesn't have the heart to not reply or say he's not interested. Then again I've heard some like to take it slow and don't want to scare either side away by talking a lot. But still, if a guy does at least want to get to know a girl better, he should be the one to initiate. I get people are busy/don't text much or if at all during work but still. There is more time during the day to take the time and send a text or something. But I'll just leave it be and wait a couple or few days and if nothing, guess I'll get my answer. Link to comment
BigKK Posted August 5, 2015 Share Posted August 5, 2015 Yeah, in the beginning he was initiating like texting me in the mornings then stopped. However when I do text him he replies, which with others, they never replied. So he's probably just a nice person and doesn't have the heart to not reply or say he's not interested. Then again I've heard some like to take it slow and don't want to scare either side away by talking a lot. But still, if a guy does at least want to get to know a girl better, he should be the one to initiate. I get people are busy/don't text much or if at all during work but still. There is more time during the day to take the time and send a text or something. But I'll just leave it be and wait a couple or few days and if nothing, guess I'll get my answer. That's a good idea Link to comment
prettycutie Posted August 5, 2015 Author Share Posted August 5, 2015 That's a good idea True, but at times I only wish people could be up front with what they want/don't want. Truth hurts but it's better than guessing Link to comment
Patrick974 Posted August 5, 2015 Share Posted August 5, 2015 True, but at times I only wish people could be up front with what they want/don't want. Truth hurts but it's better than guessing Modern time thing I guess. Easier to just de-friend someone on social medias than go meet them and tell I dont want to hear from you anymore. Link to comment
prettycutie Posted August 5, 2015 Author Share Posted August 5, 2015 Modern time thing I guess. Easier to just de-friend someone on social medias than go meet them and tell I dont want to hear from you anymore. Right, but who does that anymore? Or who would? Maybe there are still decent people out there who will tell someone face to face how they feel. But no, it seems to be all about playing games and leading people on Link to comment
Patrick974 Posted August 5, 2015 Share Posted August 5, 2015 Right, but who does that anymore? Or who would? Maybe there are still decent people out there who will tell someone face to face how they feel. But no, it seems to be all about playing games and leading people on Depends what you have to say. About dating Id appreciate like you a text "Im no longer interested/I found someone else.."The worst of it is that Im now more used to people fading away. I see the irony here. Link to comment
DoF Posted August 5, 2015 Share Posted August 5, 2015 He is not interested or attracted......or 1 million other possible reasons. Regardless, his actions (or lack of actions) should tell you to move on and keep dating. Link to comment
prettycutie Posted August 5, 2015 Author Share Posted August 5, 2015 Depends what you have to say. About dating Id appreciate like you a text "Im no longer interested/I found someone else.."The worst of it is that Im now more used to people fading away. I see the irony here. Oh yes. I agree completely. I could go on and on about people fading out of my life but I won't. However it seems to be a trend now a days of people being self-absorbed and not caring about the feelings of others Link to comment
DoF Posted August 5, 2015 Share Posted August 5, 2015 Right, but who does that anymore? Or who would? Maybe there are still decent people out there who will tell someone face to face how they feel. But no, it seems to be all about playing games and leading people on And since he didn't, it should tell you that he is no good. Link to comment
prettycutie Posted August 5, 2015 Author Share Posted August 5, 2015 And since he didn't, it should tell you that he is no good. Well in this case, IF he isn't even interested, as much as I hate it, he shouldn't even reply to my messages. Or if he does, he should casually tell me he isn't interested. Link to comment
DoF Posted August 5, 2015 Share Posted August 5, 2015 Right, but who does that anymore? Or who would? Maybe there are still decent people out there who will tell someone face to face how they feel. But no, it seems to be all about playing games and leading people on Why should they? Most people are selfish, arrogant and self entitled. It's basic human nature. Also, some people don't want to hurt others or tell them "not nice things". Link to comment
prettycutie Posted August 5, 2015 Author Share Posted August 5, 2015 Why should they? Most people are selfish, arrogant and self entitled. It's basic human nature. Also, some people don't want to hurt others or tell them "not nice things". Ain't that the truth Link to comment
DoF Posted August 5, 2015 Share Posted August 5, 2015 Well in this case, IF he isn't even interested, as much as I hate it, he shouldn't even reply to my messages. Or if he does, he should casually tell me he isn't interested. Sure Keep your communication/interactions and initiative BALANCED. Reach out once or twice, but no more. Let the other person do the same before you do it again. If you reached out more than that, well, it can be that he might have been interasted but after 4-5 texts from you.....found you annoying. Besides, you shouldn't be texting him anyways. Call him or ask him to meet. Reserve texting for quick "I'll be there in 15 min" or that sort of thing. Link to comment
prettycutie Posted August 5, 2015 Author Share Posted August 5, 2015 Sure Keep your communication/interactions and initiative BALANCED. Reach out once or twice, but no more. Let the other person do the same before you do it again. If you reached out more than that, well, it can be that he might have been interasted but after 4-5 texts from you.....found you annoying. Besides, you shouldn't be texting him anyways. Call him or ask him to meet. Reserve texting for quick "I'll be there in 15 min" or that sort of thing. True, but I'm also talking about after meeting them as well. Almost all I've met have disappeared which I understand why and I'm not taking it personally but just saying with a couple of them, they have actually still talked to me after meeting. But it almost always ends up being me initiating and then nothing. Guess I'm slow to pick up hints Link to comment
Patrick974 Posted August 5, 2015 Share Posted August 5, 2015 It seems to me we live in an age when everyone is highly connected yet so very disconnected. This is why I generally dont rely upon text or emails when I first meet a woman until Ive kind of sealed the deal. I prefer to use phone for communication. The less ambiguity, the better. Link to comment
Helpexpressme Posted August 5, 2015 Share Posted August 5, 2015 Even in this modern age, being honest is just too scary too face. So someone invented the idea that you don't have to explain yourself after a date or anything. It seems to be the"get out of jail free" card. Link to comment
prettycutie Posted August 5, 2015 Author Share Posted August 5, 2015 Even in this modern age, being honest is just too scary too face. So someone invented the idea that you don't have to explain yourself after a date or anything. It seems to be the"get out of jail free" card. Yes that's what it's like now a days and it's going to stay that way it looks like Link to comment
H8Reality217 Posted August 8, 2015 Share Posted August 8, 2015 now you know how guys feel Link to comment
Sportster2005 Posted August 10, 2015 Share Posted August 10, 2015 True, but at times I only wish people could be up front with what they want/don't want. Truth hurts but it's better than guessing Silence is a pretty loud indicator in the dating world. Don't have any doubts in the future. Link to comment
Dottieflanogon Posted August 10, 2015 Share Posted August 10, 2015 I vote for lack of interest as well I have been in that situation where I met a guy who initially seemed interested ..but then I found myself always the one initiating texts/calls. He would always respond to my texts immediately and seemed happy to hear from me ....yet he wouldn't text me first. I even stopped contacting for 2 days , to give him a chance to initiate contact to no avail I ended up giving in and texted him.....In the end it felt one sided so I stopped contacting him. Guess what? I never heard from again him after that .So there was my answer. He just wasn't that into me Men are not complex , when they are interested ....you will know it Link to comment
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