I feel like my relationship is falling appart

[Lovelavie]

When we first started dating, everything was perfect. I didn't want a relationship at the time, but I realized he was making me so happy that I decided to stay. He made me feel like a princess and I was impressed with his maturity towards relationships. I thought I finally had found someone who understood me and took care of me and made me feel good about myself.

 

However, I have realized, as time went by, that he has these huge mood swings. Like one time, he'll be happy and treating me like a princess and then if I said something that didn't please him, he would shut down and ignore me or start acting like a jerk, or like someone who doesn't care. I started getting really unhappy and almost giving up on us, because I felt really unloved. Then, we went on a trip this weekend and I wasn't very enthusiastic about it because I thought the same things were gonna happen. But it was just perfect. We laughed, we had fun, and he wasn't treating me badly anymore. It was just good times without the mood swings and I got excited about us again.

 

Then on the way back, we got in an argument about the stupidest thing ever, which he started and wouldn't let go. I then said that I couldn't stand this anymore. Everytime he would get mad he would stay mad for hours, days, or even the whole week. While I'm the type of person who can't stay mad at someone for more than 30 minutes unless it's something really serious (which it isn't in 99% of the cases). He starts acting like a little kid, walking away, ignoring me and simply refusing to talk as an adult in order for us to work things out. I just feel like he stopped caring at some point. The thing is, on this trip, I realized that it was just so easy for us to be happy. Yet he chooses to treat me poorly, like he wants me to chase him or something, which I already told him I will not. He'll pick something I said that didn't please him and focus on it the whole day and won't let it go and it's driving me crazy!!! Honestly, I don't even know if anyone has ever made me feel so unhappy about such little things. It's like I'm always wrong. Sometimes I just want to express my feelings about a certain subject.

 

Also, he's always so busy with work and stuff to pay, he's always stressed out and during the week I feel like I'm just a burden to him. He just can't see that being nice to me and doing nice things instead of being rude to me is what will bring out the best of me. I love him and it was like falling in love with him all over again on this trip, but now it seems like it's all back to normal. I feel like it's all falling apart and I've tried so many things but it feels like he's always "so sick of me and can't stand me anymore" for absolutely nothing...

[DoF]

When we first started dating, everything was perfect. I didn't want a relationship at the time, but I realized he was making me so happy that I decided to stay. He made me feel like a princess and I was impressed with his maturity towards relationships. I thought I finally had found someone who understood me and took care of me and made me feel good about myself.

 

Took care of you?

 

Do you treat him like a prince?

 

Saying those 2 things makes you sound needy, moochy and entitled.

 

However, I have realized, as time went by, that he has these huge mood swings. Like one time, he'll be happy and treating me like a princess and then if I said something that didn't please him, he would shut down and ignore me or start acting like a jerk, or like someone who doesn't care. I started getting really unhappy and almost giving up on us, because I felt really unloved. Then, we went on a trip this weekend and I wasn't very enthusiastic about it because I thought the same things were gonna happen. But it was just perfect. We laughed, we had fun, and he wasn't treating me badly anymore. It was just good times without the mood swings and I got excited about us again.

 

You call this a mood swing?

 

What exactly did you say? Usually, when someone tells you something unpleasant, YES people will get mad and react in different ways.

 

That's not a mood swing. The symptom is YOU, mind you he might have handled it better and all but if it wasn't for "whatever you said" there wouldn't be no problem.

 

Then on the way back, we got in an argument about the stupidest thing ever, which he started and wouldn't let go. I then said that I couldn't stand this anymore. Everytime he would get mad he would stay mad for hours, days, or even the whole week. While I'm the type of person who can't stay mad at someone for more than 30 minutes unless it's something really serious (which it isn't in 99% of the cases). He starts acting like a little kid, walking away, ignoring me and simply refusing to talk as an adult in order for us to work things out. I just feel like he stopped caring at some point. The thing is, on this trip, I realized that it was just so easy for us to be happy. Yet he chooses to treat me poorly, like he wants me to chase him or something, which I already told him I will not. He'll pick something I said that didn't please him and focus on it the whole day and won't let it go and it's driving me crazy!!! Honestly, I don't even know if anyone has ever made me feel so unhappy about such little things. It's like I'm always wrong. Sometimes I just want to express my feelings about a certain subject.

 

Sit him down and tell him you want to have a serious conversation. First and foremost, you guys need to establish "fighting rules". This is a big part of relationship IMO. THings like, no name calling (for example "you act like a kid"), no anger, no rug sweeping (walking away), no defensiveness or offensiveness, no swearing etc etc. Tell him how important communication is in the relationship and hope he understands.

 

If what you say is true (he is one of those "can never be wrong" people) I would tell you to just run away fast. That's not good LTR material at all.

 

Also, he's always so busy with work and stuff to pay, he's always stressed out and during the week I feel like I'm just a burden to him. He just can't see that being nice to me and doing nice things instead of being rude to me is what will bring out the best of me. I love him and it was like falling in love with him all over again on this trip, but now it seems like it's all back to normal. I feel like it's all falling apart and I've tried so many things but it feels like he's always "so sick of me and can't stand me anymore" for absolutely nothing...

 

Sounds like he works too much OR lets his work get too him. These are his issues. Workoholic = horrible for LTR. I also don't exactly have good opinion of people that allow job get to them, stress them out and especially effect their life/love life.

 

THis might easily be the core of the issues here. Ask him how is work. See what he says. Tell him how you feel.

 

Good luck