flowers after sex?

[zb]

I have a new girl friend.... and I am kind of trying to plan ahead... I am pretty sure we will end up in an intimate relationship...... I want to make sure her first time with me is something she will remember.... she is not a virgin, so that alone will not suffice. I was wondering if maybe sending her a dozen roses the day after would be a good idea? She told me that she may only be able to give me half her heart... she has never gave her whole heart to anyone... she said the reason is that if something happened to me.. like if I dump her or if I die, she wants to be able to go on.... so she kind of dodges love I guess.......I want her to fall in love with me... so I want to do all the little things I can so that hopefully she will 100%. Is a rose from time to time, or a surprise letter in the mail really the way to do this? I just got out of a relationship that was three, almost four yeats long....I was engaged but the little things did not seem to matter much to the girl I was with... because in the last year or more she pretty much stopped having anything to do with me... I don't want this to happen again. I want to make sure I do everything right with this new girl because I really like her. Any advice?

[redbabymama]

well, Ill have to say, you are one determined person.Sending her roses is a nice gesture, but Im sorry, it will not make her fall in love with you.Sorry.The best thing to do is just write her a letter,if you are to shy to do it face to face,and just tell her how you feel about her and request that she learn to trust and love you all the way. If she doesnt respond to your satisfaction, either except it or leave it. I am so sorry you have to go through this.

 

 

p.s.- something that always works is prayer.try it sometime.

[kb2]

I had the same situation. I was in love with a man, who would not and did not want to love me. But I was honest with him, and didn't give up. As long as you are strong enoug and don't become psychotic there's nothing wrong with doing what you can to SHOW someone you love thim in hopes they will love you in return. But from my mistakes let me offer some advice. Be honest. Always. Be prepared to get hurt. (So make sure she's worth it) Be prepared to fight dirty if possible. And last, be ready to always question yourself. My boyfriend really loves me, matter of fact we're getting married in Sept., but I wonder sometimes if it will work because I "forced" him to love me. But he tells me he's glad I did or he would have missed something great.

 

Just show her your heart, open up to her but don't smother her. In my opinion flowers are so done. Don't do it. If you do, don't do roses. Be creative. The best gift I gave my boyfriend, I learned how to cook his food from his native country. That's when he said he fell in love with me.

 

But, if she doesn't RESPECT the fact that you love her so much, then she's not worth it. You can give your whole heart to someone and still go on if they're gone. If you don't you will miss out on so much in life, and if they leave, you pick yourself up, and try to remember that there must be someone or something so much better out there. Without love, life is only half lived. Good luck!!

[zb]

um... I did not mean to imply that giving her roses would make her fall in love with me.... that would be foolish...... the fact is that from what I know the little things do help love grow...... if you have ever got flowers from a guy your interested in and had no emotions of joy and warmth towards that person then your very cold, like my ex. Yes I know about prayer... I prayed for a while before I decided to leave my ex... and I have been praying for God's help in this new relationship..... I just wanted some opinions on how well romantic things, such as giving flowers, works... I mean according to the first post I should not give massages, flowers, or any sign of affection and love could still happen.......... my guess is you either do not know what love is or you have not been treated very well in your relationships. The simple fact is that I will do much better with gaining her affection by doing the "little things" ...... if I do not do them then how does love grow? answer that? Just how do you think a girl would fall for a guy more so then what she has from interest alone if the guy does not give signs of affection............

[zb]

you seem to not understand....... I do not love her, love her yet......we just started out......but I could love her, and I guess I do some...... and she seems to be ok with it.......I think she has just been hurt in the past.........she did say she is very cautious about her heart.