Any ideas why my friend is doing/saying this?

[JuggernautJay]

I have a friend in college and she's been getting on my nerves recently. She keeps saying that I never bother with her outside of college and that I never make the effort to speak to her (despite the fact that she never bothers to speak to me.) I have often messaged her outside of college. SHe will always read the messages and then not reply. This is on Facebook and Snapchat. She ignores me on Yahoo Messenger, she ignores me on Skype and she ignores my text messages. If I ask her in college why she ignored me, she just says that she was busy and was going to reply later but forgot. But then a day or so later she will complain again that I never speak to her outside of college. I really don't understand what is going through her head. Most of the time she isn't even busy. One of the other guys in our group was with me once and I messaged her and he messaged her. We messaged at the same time but she ignored me and replied to him. I asked her the following day why she didn't reply to me and she told me she was in work, even though she was texting him all evening -.-

 

I really don't get what her problem is. Why does she complain that I never bother with her if she isn't even going to bother replying to my messages? And on the odd occasion she does reply (which has been like twice) she is really uncoversational and its so hard to actually have a conversation with her as she just gives 1 word answers. Seriously guys, what's up with her?

[melancholy123]

Why do you persist in trying to have a friendship with her? She keeps blowing you off and you keep coming back for more. I dont think she's interested in a friendship with you. Time to cut your losses and find some new friends.

[msundertaker87]

sounds like she's playing games, or just wants attention all the time. My advise RUN. GET OUT before it's too late.

[ParisPaulette]

Why didn't you just say, "Well, I stopped, because I was messaging you and you never answer me back or respond. So if you won't make an effort neither will I."

 

Personally, I'm pegging her in the drama queen/emotional vampire category. They don't really care if you care or not, that's not the point. The point is you are supposed to chase after them, so they can know you want them. Your "friend" doesn't really want you contacting her and being in touch, she wants to know she has the kind of control over you that will make you pursue her while she rejects you. These are the types who will do the backhanded insults like, "I don't have any friends" while you're talking to them as I if you aren't a friend. And the more people do for them the more they complain and whine and gripe that no one ever does anything for them, contacts them, shows them they are.

 

You'd be really smart not to play into any of this. A simple, "I did that and you didn't respond, so I stopped," then after that excusing yourself from the conversation with an "Well, this has all been fascinating but I have to run." Click. And then you stop taking her calls, because such people will just suck the life right out of you if you let them. It's totally bullship and she knows it. She just wants you to jump through hoops and possibly buy her a goodie or three to "prove" what a great friend you are to her.

 

Of course, it goes without saying this is all a one-way street that flows only in her direction. She'll never do the same to you, that's not what she wants. I suggest a better quality of friend as a long-term solution.

[catfeeder]

Next time she complains, I'd just tell her that I gave up.