What should I bring to the table? (reasonable things)

[Dougie_D]

Ok... I'm sure I'll get bashed because there is probably some thread out there where I talked about this...but I'm focused more right now.

 

I'm suppose to bring things to the table, right? Without any PHYSICAL attributes, can I get a list of somewhat? This will help me focus on my weak parts.

 

I do better with lists. Like chores to be done.

 

Thanks!

[reinventmyself]

Good for you Dougie. .I hope this is positive exercise

[HeartGoesOn]

Dougie...How about giving us a list of what you'd like to bring to the table?

[reinventmyself]

Dougie...How about giving us a list of what you'd like to bring to the table?

 

good response. .because If I recall we covered a lot of these things last go around.

[Dougie_D]

Dougie...How about giving us a list of what you'd like to bring to the table?

 

That's the reason why I'm asking. I don't know what I'm suppose to bring to the table.

 

- I have a job

- I have a car

- I have a place to live (roommates, but in time I would believe I could live with my partner)

- I am very loyal

- I am nice

- I will try my best to help out in any situation

 

????

[HeartGoesOn]

^

Dougie, You just answered your own question, as well as the question, "I can think for myself."

[reinventmyself]

That's the reason why I'm asking. I don't know what I'm suppose to bring to the table.

 

- I have a job

- I have a car

- I have a place to live (roommates, but in time I would believe I could live with my partner)

- I am very loyal

- I am nice

- I will try my best to help out in any situation

 

????

 

- a positive outlook on life and being open to suggestions and new experiences.

[boltnrun]

What are your goals in life besides "I want to find a girlfriend and to have sex"?

[bulletproof]

That's the reason why I'm asking. I don't know what I'm suppose to bring to the table.

 

- I have a job

- I have a car

- I have a place to live (roommates, but in time I would believe I could live with my partner)

- I am very loyal

- I am nice

- I will try my best to help out in any situation

 

????

 

Okay, that's great, but so do about a billion other people. What makes you stand out? What are you passionate about?

[Dougie_D]

- a positive outlook on life and being open to suggestions and new experiences.

 

I'm working on that. I need to figure out how to disrupt my comfort zone and same routine.

[reinventmyself]

What are your goals in life besides "I want to find a girlfriend and to have sex"?

 

he's trying here. . let's give him a chance

[boltnrun]

he's trying here. . let's give him a chance

 

I was genuinely curious, not bashing! I just seem to recall he said something about being interested in live music.

[Dougie_D]

What are your goals in life besides "I want to find a girlfriend and to have sex"?

My dream job is to be an A&R for a major label. I apply all the time, had various internships and contributions, but realized that labels want you to bring in more than just a good ear for talent. So I created an LLC for my own label. Just need to save money (lots of $$$ and need to have bands get on board with you). I still have to have my other full time job. I'm not used to that, and I really struggle with that aspect. But the goal is to get my label looking good enough for labels to invest in me and my label.

I am trying to write a TV script and pitch it.

Trying to write a hit song/produce songs.

Those are my main goals.

[Dougie_D]

Okay, that's great, but so do about a billion other people. What makes you stand out? What are you passionate about?

I'm most passionate about music but I bounce in other creative things like TV production (I have an editing certificate.. But I rather write now), have ideas for board games.

[boltnrun]

That is all interesting, and I mean that sincerely.

 

A key to conversation with women is to express genuine interest in what they have to say. Ask a woman about herself. What is she interested in? Has she traveled? Participated in any sports? Been on a game show? Met anyone famous? Then listen and let her finish her sentences (key) and ask follow up questions.

 

If she's polite, when she's done she will ask about you. Tell her what you told us about your music interests. If the conversation is going well, suggest doing something she's interested in together. If she responds positively, get her number and promise to call the next day with a proposed date and time. Make it the following week if possible so you don't seem overeager. I wouldn't recommend dinner if conversation is difficult...maybe a bike ride, a flea market or food truck event, a museum, wine tasting...anything somewhat social. Also gives you automatic conversation material. And continue to show interest in her interests.

 

Hope some of this helps.

[reinventmyself]

can you be specific about what kind of relationship you are looking for. I am looking for specifics. How would you spend your time together? How much time and what characteristics are you looking for?

[reinventmyself]

lol . . ^what she said

[reinventmyself]

I am trying to think of a way to best help you so instead of giving Dougie a laundry list of must haves I will share with you things I would prefer in a man:

 

Stable employment.. longevity is better.

Good communication. . this includes chemistry, the better the chemistry the easier the communication tends to be.

Integrity. . I listen to his life story and listen to queues

Energy. . I like a man who is active. Not to be confused with gym rats. . Just someone who likes to get out and do things.

Humor. . do I need to say more?

Honesty and openness. . do I need to say more?

Positive outlook. . nothing worse than someone who is negative.

He has his own life. . he wants a relationship but doesn't necessarily need one.

He has friends and is close to family. The family part isn't always doable for extenuating circumstances, but if you don't have friends. . ??

I am a little old school. .tho I don't mind paying. I like a little chivalry (let's not derail the thread debating this!)

Those are basics. . I'll leave it at that.

[Dougie_D]

It does and I can do all those things, but somehow the woman looks at me just as a friend. I once took a girl out to dinner, concert, then lounge bar afterwards. I asked for another time to see her and she caught me off guard with asking me if I was asking her out on a date. Then I realized she just wanted to be friends.

Also, I have many flakes. I know it happens, but I feel like if you get flaked all the time, I'm doing something wrong.

Sometimes I have to explain what my passion is, and sometimes I can tell she doesn't care, which kind of hurts me in a way.

[reinventmyself]

It does and I can do all those things, but somehow the woman looks at me just as a friend. I once took a girl out to dinner, concert, then lounge bar afterwards. I asked for another time to see her and she caught me off guard with asking me if I was asking her out on a date. Then I realized she just wanted to be friends.

Also, I have many flakes. I know it happens, but I feel like if you get flaked all the time, I'm doing something wrong.

Sometimes I have to explain what my passion is, and sometimes I can tell she doesn't care, which kind of hurts me in a way.

 

I find your passion very interesting. . she wasn't the right girl.

We've all been flaked on and friend zoned. .the trick is to not let it trip you up and mess with your head.

Just keep moving on!

You also have to careful that you don't go into each date with `she's not going to like me' mindset. You end up sabotaging yourself.

[Dougie_D]

can you be specific about what kind of relationship you are looking for. I am looking for specifics. How would you spend your time together? How much time and what characteristics are you looking for?

Honestly I'm looking for someone that wants me to spend time with her. Not always with me. When I invite people to do things with me, I'm still going to do or go with or without them. I'm used to doing things alone.

I've never been in a relationship, but I view it as a strong platonic bonding with sexual activities involved. Without sex, she would just be like a really good friend.

I guess we would see each other everday? Like a roommate?

Watch movies, go to shows, eat out, sleep together, go to gym?, do whatever we have planned?

[Dougie_D]

So energy means like always doing something. Keeping himself busy. I can be busy, but it would be more regarding working on my music, script, or doing errands.

I can adapt to people for who they are. So I can feel like I have chemistry with a lot of people. But I'm not sure if they feel the same about me.

I do need to try to be positive more. Don't know how everyone is always happy.

[reinventmyself]

Sounds good. . .

[Dougie_D]

I find your passion very interesting. . she wasn't the right girl.

We've all been flaked on and friend zoned. .the trick is to not let it trip you up and mess with your head.

Just keep moving on!

You also have to careful that you don't go into each date with `she's not going to like me' mindset. You end up sabotaging yourself.

I'm just trying to get constant dates. It's getting real annoying about how it seems like everyone is getting dates online. 5 years and not a single date. When I get a girls number I feel like she already "likes me enough". Then when I get flaked on, that's what hurts the most. I like to believe that women are picky on who they choose to give out their numbers. I don't give out my number to girls unless I want to go out on a date with them

[Dougie_D]

So I'm guessing that I just need to try to be positive more? I know 100 percent I can be a great boyfriend/husband if given a chance. Father material? Hmmm.... Kids scare the crap out of me.