What should I bring to the table? (reasonable things)

[Batya33]

Nothing is a long term relationship until you look back and say "wow, we have been dating 6 months/a year/2 years. time flies". You don't start a long term relationship from the first date and say "this is going to be long term". But you only continue to date people more than a few times if there is mutual interest and see where it goes. Right now, Dougie, you need to get past the second date before being worried about declaring a long term relationship.

 

Yes, I agree. Never said or meant that.

[Batya33]

Then you tell people you are looking to go on dates to meet people to ultimately you are looking to find a girlfriend. People wanting a serious relationship are willing to go on dates with different people so that they CAN find that person, even if they go out with a few different people until they pair off with someone. They are not serious with the person on the first date - its a "getting to know you". THey are just not going to have a one night stand and are looking for common ground.

 

But Dougie just wrote that he is open to anything - one or two dates, a sex buddy, a one night stand, and/or a long term relationship. Nothing wrong with that.

[Dougie_D]

Then you tell people you are looking to go on dates to meet people to ultimately you are looking to find a girlfriend. People wanting a serious relationship are willing to go on dates with different people so that they CAN find that person, even if they go out with a few different people until they pair off with someone. They are not serious with the person on the first date - its a "getting to know you". THey are just not going to have a one night stand and are looking for common ground.

 

You'd be surprised how strong temptation is. I've known TONS of women who say "I'm not that type of girl"...and woops! They screw some guy on the first date off an online dating site.

 

I'm not bound to one decision or the other. If some chick wants to bang me on the first date and tells me I won"t ever see her again, there's a good chance I might take her up on that offer.

 

Of course I'm looking for a girlfriend but at the same time I don't look into it too hard. I don't see a problem with dating someone for a long time with a chance she might NOT be the one eventually. Once I feel like there are no women out there to test the waters with, I guess it would be time to marry. But as long as I still have that thought that there might be a better choice, I'm just gonna go with the flow.

[Dougie_D]

Nothing is a long term relationship until you look back and say "wow, we have been dating 6 months/a year/2 years. time flies". You don't start a long term relationship from the first date and say "this is going to be long term". But you only continue to date people more than a few times if there is mutual interest and see where it goes. Right now, Dougie, you need to get past the second date before being worried about declaring a long term relationship.

 

I'm not saying I do that at all. People keep asking me for some reason thinking that my mindset is suppose to change the way I go after women.

 

I'm saying that I know women that will date some dude for a month and go "let's talk about where we stand"... and that's where the guys are put in the corner to decide whether they are committed or not. And if the guy says, NO, they break up or something. That's a problem in my opinion. Just because you don't want to commit to someone doesn't mean that they would never commit in a year, 3 years, etc..

 

I think people just don't have patience with dating over and over and over different people and still being closer to another.

[Dougie_D]

But Dougie just wrote that he is open to anything - one or two dates, a sex buddy, a one night stand, and/or a long term relationship. Nothing wrong with that.

 

Exactly! All those are included with my package deal.

[Dougie_D]

If I had a girlfriend, I would probably still date other people ever so often. I wouldn't call it cheating because I wouldn't be "committed". Committed to a woman, to me, is when put a ring on her finger.

[petite]

If I had a girlfriend, I would probably still date other people ever so often. I wouldn't call it cheating because I wouldn't be "committed". Committed to a woman, to me, is when put a ring on her finger.

 

Then you would need to find someone that is comfortable with an 'open relationship' because that is what it would be. And, most people aren't comfortable with their partners dating other people. They would consider It cheating. You'd have to make it clear that you want an open relationship, and accept that most people would not pursue anything serious with you in that case.

[Batya33]

Then you would need to find someone that is comfortable with an 'open relationship' because that is what it would be. And, most people aren't comfortable with their partners dating other people. They would consider It cheating. You'd have to make it clear that you want an open relationship, and accept that most people would not pursue anything serious with you in that case.

 

Yes -as long as they know how you stand on dating other people, it's all good. I don't feel more committed to my husband as far as not dating other people - to me that promise was as serious at the time I made it when we were exclusively dating as today. I definitely feel more committed to him because of marriage and parenthood but it doesn't change the seriousness of the promises we made to each other.