Friend always expects me to pay

[Dylan111]

I'm a guy, but I know she doesn't expect me to pay because of that. Because she always does this to some of her other friends, who are girls too. Anyways, I am going to an amusement park sometime this week, with my parents and brother. They told us that we can invite one friend to go with. We are high school aged. But this friend who I invited is 22. Yes I know that she is older but we get along really well and we like the same things. The last few times we were together(hanging out at places) she has asked me if I would pay for her. She wanted to go out to eat, but as soon as the bill came, she said "Do you mind paying for mine? I only have $10 with me." I had close to $20 but I did it, only because I wanted to be a good friend, you know? Fast forward to the other times she was with me. She would continue to ask me to buy things for her, even though I said no twice she would keep asking. That still didn't stop her. When she goes to the amusement park with us, how do I let her know that I will not be able to buy her anything, or pay for her this time? I guess I'm a little afraid to stand up to her, just because she's older than me. Plus, this is the first time a friend has ever done anything like this to me. What should I say if she tries this again?

[mhowe]

If you invite her...and I wouldn't...you tell her on the phone that she has to buy all of her own tickets and food. It may surprise you that she tells you she can't go. Stop giving her $$.

[dave_1966]

She's a friend, not a girlfriend. And even a girlfriend shouldn't expect this. She's freeloading, tell her the buck stops here.

[agent1607307371]

How old are you? Because a 22 year old hanging around a teenager and mooching off them is so pathetic but if she'll do that, you've probably got no chance of having her stop asking you for money and remaining your friend.

 

And since you invited her, she'll probably assume you're paying for the rest of it. You need to let her know how much things at the park will cost and that you can't pay for more than yourself.

[shellyf62]

She is not your friend, she is a mooch & a user.

No-one should expect you to pay for them. If they don't have the money then they shouldn't be going on the outing.

Why don't you invite a school friend closer to your age?

Why do you keep hanging around this girl?

[Dylan111]

How old are you? Because a 22 year old hanging around a teenager and mooching off them is so pathetic but if she'll do that, you've probably got no chance of having her stop asking you for money and remaining your friend.

 

And since you invited her, she'll probably assume you're paying for the rest of it. You need to let her know how much things at the park will cost and that you can't pay for more than yourself.

 

I'm 17. Thanks, I'll try explaining to her that she will need to bring her own money this time for everything etc.

[ParisPaulette]

My son had this problem when he was younger. He finally learned to go to the park/event/with just enough money for his ticket and one food and drink item. And then say in the line, "By the way, this time you are buying the goodies 'cause I'm dead broke once I've paid for my ticket." And then you go in and you don't buy her anything and you turn it around on her and you ask for a coke and a few other little things. Nothing mean, nothing obnoxious, but you get your point accross that it's her turn to pay. If she refuses or gets mad then you can say, "Oh well, then I guess we'll just hang out and enjoy what we can with the money that's already been paid for." And you do just that and after that you don't invite her anywhere.

 

She's mooching off you, because she can. There is no being nice to a mooch, there really isn't. A direct "I'm broke, you pay this time" and making sure you don't have wads of cash or cards on you is all they understand. It's also usually the last time they'll hang with you, but if you have to bribe people to hang out with you then something is really wrong anyways and it's not a friendship. At that point you're just paying someone and pretending they are a friend when they aren't.

 

And yes, I'm being a bit harsh here, but you need to learn now not to be a doormat. You only get walked on doing things like that, no one will be so dazzled by your niceness that they'll stop being a jerk about it. The only thing you get when you pay for everyone are con artists, users and mooches and these are not people you want to be friends with.

 

She's a grown woman taking advantage of a teenager too, which puts her really low in my opinion. I think you can find better friends.

[Hollyj]

I think you should be more careful in who you choose as a friend. I would NEVER expect a friend to pay for me. She sounds like a mooch.

 

I would lose her as a "friend." You need to expect more of your friends.

[domo2013]

She is using you. Time find new friends.

[SophieGrace]

I'm 17. Thanks, I'll try explaining to her that she will need to bring her own money this time for everything etc.

 

This an opportunity to be a "man." If I were you, I'd be blunt, "Oh and by the way everyone is paying for themselves - I can't pay for you." (and tell her the charges and what she will owe for that trip). And then do that every single time you get together. Like Agent wrote, a 22-year-old woman asking for money from a younger guy is pathetic. Please don't let her take advantage.

 

You sound like a lovely person, and I hope you know all girls aren't this way.