confessional

[cassiana]

Here is my question. Do you know those dark months of despair, wishing and hoping they would remember what a treasure you are but resenting the fact that they are blissfully happy going on without you while every day is blighted by their memory. Then one day you get angry and you get some revenge. You know its wrong and its petty but jstt for one moment to have some impact on thier lives you do it. Its out of character but you have been in pain so long. Do you know that feeling?

 

And what did you do?

 

I did something like that and now I feel a bit of a bunnyboiler.

[Nifty_Swifty1]

... so what was it that you did... that kind of sounds like the cryptic kind of thing you psycho in a movie would say after they killed someone. I trust that you didn't do that, but people cant really give advice if you only say that you did something for revenge.

[cassiana]

Well I wasn't really looking for advice more just reassurance that I wasn't nuts. This is going to sound stupid. My ex and I broke up last april. He was starting a course and was under stress. I did no contact for 4 months then emailed him when he was back finishing his apprenticeship. We emailed back and forth until december. He had planned to travel from january to april. But he hasnt emailed me since december. So i thougt if I type in his name and guess a password and do it often enough it will tell me "too many unsuccessful attempts". It will keep saying that if I check everyday until he logs in. Then The nxt time I try I will know if he is using his email address while travelling. The thing is, quite unexpectedly I guessed the correct password and got in. Then I read it. I felt like I was robbing a bank. Oh Lord!

[Nifty_Swifty1]

I'm sorry, but I do find that quite funney... Did you find out anything... other than the password?

 

I can't exactly tell you that it's normal. I don't know about whats going on with the guy, but my advice to you is to just let the guy go. That's something that people do out of obseshion, and that isn't what a good relationship is based on. Take it easy and just let things be for a while until you can get your head back on straight.

[cassiana]

Well i suppose it is funny if you were expecting me to have cut the brakes on his car or skinned his cat. I did find out some stuff though. I spent the rest of the day expecting a piano to fall on me or some other form of godly smiting.

 

Did you commit and love madness crimes yourself?

I dare to ask.

[TrueHeart]

I think that everyone goes through that little phase. I couldn't tell you how much I wanted to "booby trap" my home computer knowing my X was pulling all kinds of stunts.. Instead, I just caught him RED HANDED in the act of infidelity. And he dared to blame that on "my past"--

 

Turns out, I'm better off without him.. I could careless how happy he is, because I just know that I deserved better-- and I have better now... I'm at peace in my heart.. 8)

[lelou]

Please, right now, right or wrong, I would love to see my ex's e-mail. We are slowly getting back together but my not trusting him has made it rocky. I would feel so much better if I could look at his e-mail ONCE! If he wasn't, then yea b/c I am not ecen the type to like drama. IF he was, then bye...

[TrueHeart]

But why? Why walk into the rekindling relationship like that...? Is it really worth your stress? I found mine wasn't worth it.

[cassiana]

I have found out that my ex is travelling alone in Australia and New Zealand for 2 months. He is a LIttle lonely. He left one place because it was all married couples. The next place was all girls that were way too young and theres far too much noise and drinking for his liking. He is emailing only his sisters and he subscribes to one girly mag. Maybe I wont seem so bad after all.

[sdw]

My revenge was after sitting stewing for ages, sending her emails telling me all the stuff she had done that p*****d me off. Of course I hoped this would have an upsetting effect on her or to remind her I was still alive, it would of course have neither. But I think loads of people do that sort of thing, break ups are more often than not - messy.

[cassiana]

The other thing I found put is that he started subscribing to a girly mag the day after he met me. Then he asked me out a couple of weeks later.