Need advice

[jssteele89]

I'm new here. So take it easy on me. Just want some good advice on a situation.

 

Me and my GF of 2 year took a break. I initiated it. 3 months later I tried and get her back. I sent her 250 dollars worth of

flowers and continues to tell her how much I missed her over a 3 week period. She said NO, and that she had met someone else.

I continued to call and text after she told me this, in which she never responded. That last time I called her boyfriend

answered and told me to stop calling her. Obviously I will never contact her again. I know I ed up and should have gone NC rule. What are my odds that

she would come back to me? My GF was very in LOVE with me.

 

Thank you for my responses

[ohboy12]

Can't tell you because we're not your girlfriend's mind, but for now, I'd just leave it be because she's with someone else now. If she wants you back, she would call you. Focus on yourself and moving on from the relationship yourself. You can't sit around waiting for someone to come home to you if they don't feel the same anymore.

[musicman777]

Hello,

I read your post. I am sorry to hear about your girlfriend leaving for another guy. But to me, for whatever reason, you wanted to take a "break", and that is never a good sign in a relationship. It sounds to me like she took it as a "break up" instead and a means to leave your relationship for someone else. This other guy could have been eyeing her up for a long time for all you know.

 

The bottom line. You cut things off and she left for someone else. The odds of her coming back are zero. I think you need to move on with your life and forget about her. She is obviously not worth it if two years means nothing. That is a quick amount of time (within three months) to jump to another guy. Turn around and walk away and follow the "no contact" rules.

 

Also some friendly man-to-man advice... next time hold off on the flowers until you know you are back together. Don't try to buy affection and don't spend a lot of money on a woman until you know she is the right one.

[mhowe]

The odds are zero.

[jssteele89]

Good advice on the flowers. Also yes I will be moving on and following the no contact rule. If she hasn't willing to give me another chance after 2 years, then I just don't deserve it or she doesn't feel the same way for me as I thought. I'm pretty sure people told her not to get back together with me because I hurt her. She wouldn't meet up with me. If I could have seen her in person, I could have made a better case for myself instead of just talking on the phone.

[jssteele89]

I pretty much gave it everything I could. I lost some dignity for sure. Which I know is the worst thing you can do and she still wouldn't bite. So at this point If I never hear from her again, then all it means is she isn't the one. I did hurt her pretty bad when I asked for space and time off. I think she took it as a break up.

[mhowe]

I pretty much gave it everything I could. I lost some dignity for sure. Which I know is the worst thing you can do and she still wouldn't bite. So at this point If I never hear from her again, then all it means is she isn't the one. I did hurt her pretty bad when I asked for space and time off. I think she took it as a break up.

 

As it has been 3 months....that is a fairly certain bet.

Did you think she was just going to sit on her hands?

[jssteele89]

You're 100% right. I'm not sure what was wrong with me. She should have moved on found someone who treated her better. If she were to come back I REALLY would make changes to the relationship and It would be different. Maybe this just isn't enough for her though.

[HelpHelper]

Let's look at your situation from a couple different perspectives. First of all, you tried your best, right? WRONG. You can always try harder. Look, life works in mysterious ways. If something is meant for you, there is nothing that you can do to avoid it. However, if something isn't meant for you, then it won't happen.

 

Look, do you love her? Like legit love her? Then don't give up. Now before you get super excited- hear me out. This doesn't mean you constantly bug her and show her you are desperate. But even though it may not seem like it to you right now, she is human. At night, when she lays down and is ready to go to sleep, she'll think about you. Trust me. She'll think about you. Of course, you won't know this because you'll be thinking about her too. And you'll be going nuts wondering whether she's missing you also lol but that is okay! It is natural.

 

Just maintain your composure. No amount of gifts will make her come back. She has to feel it in her heart. The only way she'll come back is if she feels it. That doesn't mean she'll just knock on your door one day and say hey I'm back. It could be a random text or you run into her somewhere. It's all about timing. Unfortunately, we don't know what the right timing is. But God does. Trust Him and have faith. It won't be easy on a daily basis because there's always a chance that you don't get her back. But you never know...only God does. If you love her, then it is worth the wait.

[mhowe]

Sorry to say, but I think God has more important things to worry about.

In addition...she has said NO and thirdly...she is with someone.else.

 

Sorry dude...you are no longer in the game.

[jssteele89]

Everyone is giving good advice. How crazy is this? What if I were to just pop in her work in about 3 months. She works in retail, so I could literally just walk in. She would be very surprised to see me, but she would be forced to talk to me, which I think she actually would. She wouldn't be able to hide behind the phone anymore. I don't expect her to come back but it would be nice to see her. We were together for 2 years and I never go to say goodbye to her in person. Only over the phone.

[mhowe]

That sounds rather manipulative on your part. And kind of stalkerish.

[jssteele89]

Maybe you're right. I guess I should just accept I'll never see this girl again.

[mhowe]

Sounds like a better plan.

[jssteele89]

I'll go with that plan. The 'she's dead to me' plan ha