youknowwho Posted January 26, 2005 Share Posted January 26, 2005 I have been dating this guy for almost 2 years now. Our relationship started off like a R movie which no one under the age of 17 can see, but now our relationship getting boring and less sex. My boyfriend says that if we have too much sex, then sex becomes boring. We have sex usually once two weeks, which is not enogh for me. he says he masturbates everyday, because he loves doing it, he does it to relax, to kill time, and to feel good. And I know he masturbates everyday. But I wonder why he doesn't have sex with me as much as I want, if he masturbates everyday. I ask him for sex, but usually he says no. He says i'm tired, I just want to sleep, blah blah blah. Guys out there, tell me does every man masturbate every single day? Is that true? I don't blame him masturbating everyday, I think it's cool for him to do what he wants to do, and I know lots of men and women masturbate, so I don't mind him doing it at all. But his everyday musterbation satisfies his sex drive, and he doesn't have sex with me, then what am i supposed to do? Is it not the matter of his masturbating? Maybe he does NOT want to have sex?? Link to comment
Day_Walker Posted January 26, 2005 Share Posted January 26, 2005 I would say that it is highly dependent on his sex drive. At this point masterbation could be more of a habit than anything else. I believe that you need to have a honest discussion with your bf and let him know that you are getting the appropriate amount of sex that you would like to have. If he isnt willing to compromise on this issue then it would be best for you to move on and find a person who matches your sexual appetite. Link to comment
Gauchori Posted January 26, 2005 Share Posted January 26, 2005 If he hasen't gotten bored of masturbating "Everyday"... than how is he going to get bored of sex? Anyways.. if you want sex so badly why don't you tempt.. him to have sex...? Go to his bed.. get undresed... lay down..call him... play alround... bla bla bla.. you know... that may or may not work... but you have to try it to find out.... Just an opinion... Link to comment
Vanilla Posted January 26, 2005 Share Posted January 26, 2005 I would be terribly hurt and offended if my boyfriend rather masturbate than have sex with me. Yes it is normal for him to masturbate when you're not around. Women and Men do it whenever they feel the need to relieve themselves. What they masturbate to now is a different story but its always best to stay out of that topic... My boyfriend and I (we've been together for just about 2 yrs) have had sex almost everyday, AT LEAST 5x a week since the moment we met. I know he masturbates (Hello who doesnt??) but he has NEVER EVER turned sex down once with me and sometimes we go on more than one round in a day Sex with a partner should never be boring. The only way I can see it becoming boring is if one partner loses interest or if one partner is having sex difficulties. In your situation it seems your boyfriend might be addicted to masturbation which in most situation means a porn addict and that is a problem. It is very unhealthy because it limits sexual contact with a partner which is extremely important in a healthy relationship. You will find yourself unwanted and neglected before you know it when its not even your fault. I suggest you speak to him and tell him how you feel honestly. Try and find out how muchporn he views or why he rather masturbate than have sex...I'm sorry but any guy I know will say thats crazy. My boyfriend makes it clear to me, the only reason he masturbates himself is cause I'm not around when he wants sex. I'm not a fan of porn for such reasons. My boyfriend and I have a very open relationship about that and respect eachothers feelings and views and that is a key element. I do not know if he is a porn addict, but the mere knowledge that he has told you he rather masturbate because too much sex will get boring is rather strange and should be addressed. Keep us updated. Best of luck! Link to comment
youknowwho Posted January 28, 2005 Author Share Posted January 28, 2005 I tried to discuss about our sex issue with him many times and I asked him so many times why he preferes masturbation to sex with me. I told him I'm sexually frustrated, abd he said "you can never get enough! Ok, I try, but we shouldn't have sex too much." THen the conversation was over. He always says "if we have too much sex, sex becomes boring, I don't want it to be boring, we shouldn't have sex too much." We sleep together almost everyday, so whenever I feel like it, I try. I tried to seduce him many times, I did everything I could think of, but most of the time, he was like"i'm tired, I want to sleep, I have to get up early tomorow morning, blah blah blah." It just didn't work. Obviously he's addicted to porn and mauturbatioin, I can't do anything. He says if he doesn't masturbate, he can't relax and can't sleep well. On the day he didn't masturbate enough, he started masturbationg right next to me in the middle of the night. He just can't stop doing it. I believe I did everything I could do. I don't know how much porn he views everyday, but judging from what he says, I guess he views more than 3 videos everyday. Is it a lot? I don't know. I think we should have sex when we both feel like it, but that rarely happens, and I got tired of trying to bring him in sex. I will try to talk about this issue with him soon again, and if it doesn't work, I'll do something better than trying to seduce him, like looking for another guy. Link to comment
Vanilla Posted January 28, 2005 Share Posted January 28, 2005 From reading your post either you are taking this lightly or your hiding your emotions. If my boyfriend/husband whatever he is wouldrather view porn and masturbate than have sex with me I would be very upset. That is if you LOVE him. Sweetie, that is not normal. I would advice him to get help. counseling, rehab something but this is not ok. You come first, and then if its ok with you that he loooks at porn fine. But you should NEVER wait or be left out because of porn. NEVER. Link to comment
JohnnyTable Posted January 29, 2005 Share Posted January 29, 2005 Two words came to mind when reading this... "dump him" hehe sorry. Sex will become boring if you have too much? Based on this logic you must be having some amazing sex since it is not boring. Is it amazing? Link to comment
Gauchori Posted January 29, 2005 Share Posted January 29, 2005 Sex will become boring if you have too much? Thats the same question I had asked myself... I don't think it would be boring, cosidering that you get better at it with practice... so I don't know how will it become boring after done so much? Link to comment
Vanilla Posted January 29, 2005 Share Posted January 29, 2005 Seriously, this guy has some issues to work out with himself and a counselor. Sex doesnt get boring, not if you're in love and attracted to eachother. Sex only gets better everytime, and this is from someone who has sex with her partner of two yrs in quite the daily basis . I'd be freaked out if he ever turned me down. Sometimes when he's sleeping and I can't go to bed, I'll just caress him a little bit..and let me tell ya he can bei n the deepest of sleep but if he feels me touching him in that way in the slightest he will wake up, have sex, and fall back asleep happier than ever. So that I'm too tired excuse is just because he probably jacked off to porn all day. That is a sickness and he has a serious addiciton to it that is going to really affect your relationship, unless you dont mind being second to his porn/masturbating. I would offer him help, I would try to help him all I can. if he doesnt take it or even want it...I would walk away, because I know I am worth more than that. Are you? Link to comment
youknowwho Posted January 31, 2005 Author Share Posted January 31, 2005 of course I got very offended to know that he likes porn more than sex with me, but i got used to it, you know. he's been like this for awhile, so i've reached the point where i don't get offended by his addiction to porn. At first, i got disgusted only to know that he viewed porn. i don't know what he thinks about us, me, and sex, but i got tired of being second, and turned down. i don't deserve it. i will talk about this issue with him again tonight, or soon, if he doesn't do anything about with, i'll walk away. thank you for your advice, guys! Link to comment
Gauchori Posted February 1, 2005 Share Posted February 1, 2005 Tell us how it goes!! 8) Link to comment
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