I Need HELP! cheating b/f

[San123]

Well after dating about 3 years and finding out my LD boyfriend has been seeing another girl for the past month, I called it quits. But he keeps e mailing and apologizing begging for me to forgive him (which I cant do, because I don't trust him). I am soooo upset right now and don't know what to do and can't get over it! I mean I know it will take time but he e-mails a lot and I'm afraid I'll believe him and take him back in a moment of weakness! I need help! Any help at all...

[sonjam]

You have to stay strong. LD is difficult as it is, and mainly relies on mutual trust. This guy has been cheating on you for over a month, and you only find out about it now!!

 

You will never know what's been going on before this incident. Thing is, once that trust is broken, how will you get it back?

 

First time for cheating is the hardest, the next time it's easier and easier. he's feeling bad, at being dumped. Its always a blow to your self esteem and ego to get dumped rather than being the dumpee. He obviously believed in his mind he could get away with it, have his bread buttered on both sides ( a typical cheating partner attitude) and can't believe you actually dumped him. Only now does he realise what he wants, but alas that is not going to stop him next time. If you take him back, you show him that you can forgive him, and that he can get away with it again.

 

It's up to you girl, but look at the facts, don't get manipulated by his show of emotion.

[PrincessLinzay]

You did the right thing by breaking it off with him. It's a vicious cycle. This may or may not be the first time he's been unfaithful. And also, what if you wouldn't have found out? He would have continued on his merry way, having his cake and eating it too!

 

It's difficult, no doubt, but each time he emails you, remember that he would have continued cheating, he just got caught doing it! You have to have enough respect for yourself to walk away. Without trust (ESPECIALLY in a LD relationship), you have nothing at all.

 

Keep your head up!

[GaveTooMuch]

You did the right thing don't think twice about it. Coming from a guy who's friends with a lot of cheaters, he might feel sorry but he's more sorry that he got caught. You can't let it go because will be giving out the sign that it was okay, she'll forgive me again next time. You LD, you can't always keep close track on what he does. It's easy for him to cheat and you not know about, as he has already shown... what makes you honestly believe he won't do it again?

 

find someone else who will care for you, if he did he wouldn't cheat no matter what.

[Abacab]

Why not change e-mail address and phone numbers?

[Softmoonlight]

Don't give in, you have done the right thing. if you take him back, not only will he feel you'll forgive further instances of cheating in the future, but you will never forgive yourself when he does it again. The truth is, he is probably asking your forgiveness but still seeing the other girl in case you don't change your mind!

 

change your email or put him on ignore. email him and tell him you can't speak to him anymore and that you've put him on ignore and/or change emails so you aren't tempted to change your mind.

 

Good luck and big hugs,

Shawna