DaisyHope Posted April 28, 2015 Share Posted April 28, 2015 Almost seven months I think post break up........ I'd been doing really well, even went on a date with a guy I thought 'ooooo this guy may be better than my ex' and yet that fizzled out after a few dates...... and I'm back to square one missing my ex...... and almost feeling worse for being 'rejected' by the other guy......... but it figures really, I wasn't ready to date/move on. I think he was just a plaster, and I'd done nothing to help the 'wound'/healing process, but just sticking something over it as a temporary fix. I'm so tempted to get in touch with my ex, it's been twoish months of no contact from him or me, however I've been active on social media and he still follows me. I go with the mindset that I don't want to block him or his friends, I have the strength not to look at him or his family friends, so now I'm just going to go quiet on it all. I REALLY want to be in touch, as it's got to the point where I'm asking myself how will he know that I still miss him/would take him back - but it's silly when lets face it he's bound to have moved on. GIVE ME STRENGTH!! Link to comment
DaisyHope Posted April 28, 2015 Author Share Posted April 28, 2015 I don't have his number anyway..... I could email him but emails seem even more personal so I just wouldn't email.... so I think I'm pretty safe in not doing it.... Link to comment
Edmund Exley Posted April 28, 2015 Share Posted April 28, 2015 Don't start dating until you are ready to not compare them to your ex. No one deserves that. Link to comment
DaisyHope Posted April 28, 2015 Author Share Posted April 28, 2015 Don't start dating until you are ready to not compare them to your ex. No one deserves that. Exactly right... although to be fair to the other guy I didn't compare him, and if I had I'd probably have thought he seemed to be a better guy....... he just wasn't interested in me. However I should think he would have been interested in me, had I been ready to date. Maybe not, but I think I'd have felt a lot more relaxed, myself and not as if I was cheating on my boyfriend, even though he's not my boyfriend anymore. Love is so hard... and it just wasn't with the ex until he pulled the rug out from beneath me. Is 6/7 months too soon to move on though really? I know there should be no time frame, but people move on instantly, I assume my ex has (I don't want to know though) that said, and I don't know if I dare say this, I've known two people who's exes came back around the 6/7 month mark, both of whom are now married!? Could he come back!? Link to comment
DaisyHope Posted April 29, 2015 Author Share Posted April 29, 2015 These last few days have been SOOOOOOO hard not to contact my ex. Two 'signs' - ie seeing a family member of his yesterday, and today seeing a poster for something totally random and in my breakup fog I can't help as seeing as signs to contact him to tell him about it, and yet I've managed NOT to contact him. The trick is reminding myself that if he wanted to be in touch with me, then he would... and he's not. So there's no gain for me in contacting him. The other trick is to tell myself he's moved on/with someone else/emailing someone else/seeing someone else tonight/on holiday with her now etc etc...... hurts SO much thinking that but it helps. Also having HUGELY supportive friends 'talk me down from the ledge' the ledge being the email contact, not actually literally considering jumping from a ledge, to be clear!! I just can't get the thought out of my head that we're at the 6/7 month stage where people DO come back, but again, no one and no situation is the same. Nor does he HAVE to come back to me. People ultimately can decide someone isn't right for them, hard as this is. Whilst I'm still on the waiting list for counselling, I've signed myself up for two free sessions of life coaching with an 'addictions' and 'relationship' specialist, so I hope to learn some positive techniques to move on and be genuinely and consistently happy for myself and others. I'm still 'happy' that the date, nice as he was didn't work out, as it showed me I wasn't ready to move on........ however lovely and goodlooking and well suited he looked... I just wasn't ready..... just need to get over the embarrassment. Link to comment
mhowe Posted April 29, 2015 Share Posted April 29, 2015 There is no stage where people miraculously come back. So ---- take that thought and toss it out the window. I think you will feel much better after your sessions with the life coach and you get yourself a plan to work. Link to comment
frida Posted April 30, 2015 Share Posted April 30, 2015 I know its hard and I'm going through the pain of NC from my ex, but like you said if he wanted you in his life he would have contacted you, but he hasn't. Its been almost 4 months since my break up and my ex never made an effort to talk to me, and it hurts like crazy. I saw a couple of pictures of him with another girl and it was the hardest thing for me. Even though I don't know for a fact that they're together I tell myself everyday, multiple times a day that they're dating. I imagine them hugging, kissing, going on dates, essentially doing everything we use to do. It hurts like hell, but it also helps me move on. As much as a part of me wishes we would work out and he would come back and apologize I need to focus on myself...just like you do! If he loved you and wants you he'll contact you simple as that! And you need to try to just let go. I'm not saying dating if you aren't ready (its ok not be ready!), but you need to focus on the fact that you can't force someone to be with you. best of luck and just don't give in to contacting him! it won't be worth it Link to comment
DaisyHope Posted April 30, 2015 Author Share Posted April 30, 2015 I just wish I could find a magic cure to: 1. stop me thinking about him 2. stop me from caring about him meeting and being with someone else 3. stopping me from ever having to bump in to him 4. make me get over it 5. make him come back Link to comment
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