A virgin's first few times?

[Losted32flower]

Of course the first time for a girl is going to hurt. But how long does it take for it to start feeling good? My friend told me the first time she did it, it was really painful but after a few times, it started getting a lot better...

[xmrth]

It could be different for certain people, but in my experience, it hurts alot the first time, and after that, a little more, and the next time it's fine. I agree with your friend.

[sparkler624]

For me, my first time felt like I was having bad cramps. But after that it took about 3-4 times before the pain stopped. However, every once and while I will get that cramp feeling depending on the position.

[Vert]

The pain is all from inexperience and nervousness. It causes women to tighten up and lose the lubrication. Plus sex is quite traumatic for the vagina the first time or two so don't worry too much about it "always been painful". After a while, my ex would gasp in pleasure when I entered her instead of a slight twinge.

[anotherperson]

I'm just curious regarding my own girlfriend. Before she and I got together she was in a 4.5yr relationship. She had a few brief relationships before that one, but nothing sexual. After a year she started having sex for the first time with her ex. During that relationship and considering her living conditions (both of them lived at home with parents, etc) the opportunities to have sex were not exactly frequent. She told me she had sex a total of about 12 times in the remaining 3.5 years of their relationship (the time before she and I got together). I did not know her all that time, but only for perhaps the last few months. So 12 times spaced over that amount of time, correct me if I'm wrong, but surely she never really got the chance to get over feeling sore.

 

When we got together I expected her to be a bit tighter and, also we had sex within two weeks of us getting together (which she initiated). Surely if she was that inexperienced she wouldn't have been able to start having frequent sex without displaying any signs of discomfort.

 

This kind of bugged me, because she tells me she regrets losing her virginity to her ex, and wants me to consider myself as her first. But I can't help but feel like she's been there done that already a hundred times, and just playing along to make me feel like we have something new/special.

 

Maybe I'm just being insecure, but I wonder on this occasion can the truth be discovered based on technical details being known.

 

Some mights say, so what if she had lots of sex with her ex. It bothers me because she insists that she hasn't but her body (to the best of my knowledge) tells me that she has. It's the potential lies I have a problem with.

[RayKay]

 

Some mights say, so what if she had lots of sex with her ex. It bothers me because she insists that she hasn't but her body (to the best of my knowledge) tells me that she has. It's the potential lies I have a problem with.

 

I REALLY don't think you can make judgements like this based on she was not as "tight" as you had expected her to be. Every woman is different, and every vagina different! She was maybe not so tight because she had gotten over the mind over matter part and was not nervous to have sex with you, thereforeeee was not subconsciously tightening up.

 

12 times is more than enough for her to have "loosened up". I sure was not sore 12 times into it...in fact I was only every mildly sore after the first time, and the second time and everytime after that felt good...so her not being sore after having sex 12 times is not indicative of her experience. And maybe she also masturbates and is very turned on by you - making her both more in tune to accomodating for you and more lubricated letting you slide in easier.

 

I recommend you may want to trust what your girlfriend is saying in this matter...as I said, her being able to accept you without pain/soreness is not indicative of her experience. When a woman is very turned on, and has had sex at least one or two times, she will be ready to stretch to accommodate, that and her vaginal canal swells too with arousal to "balloon" a bit to accommodate.

[anotherperson]

Thank you RayKay. Once again you've put my mind at rest. Also I'd like to appologise if I offended by using terms such as "tight" in my last post. I lost my virginity to this girl and I love her. I'll never forget our first time, and the way we were together. It was absolutely perfect.

 

I do have trust issues that really need sorting. I am getting better though. My problem is that I still find it hard to overlook things that catch my attention. Such as thinking she's lying, based on generic facts that more than likely don't apply to her/us. Other stupid little things like her telling me she can't see me in the evening/night because she has work to do at home, and then telling me to call her cellphone instead of the home phone if I want to get in touch. I still find myself calling the home phone just to make sure she's there. The thing is, she's always where she says she'll be.

 

However there will be other things like her going red every time we meet up with certain male friends. Things like her friends giving her a look every time certain names are mentioned. These are names of people she would have met while both of us were going out. Other things like her telling me that her friends want to meet up with her for a chat, when her friends turn around every so often and make comments that imply it was the other way around. Things like that I deem trivial, but if unnecessary white lies are being told, then I'd be worrying as to why. But then again they may not.

 

It's hard to trust when I have so many things hammering at that wall of trust I'm trying to build.

[RayKay]

Hey anotherperson,

 

Glad I could provide a bit of help in this situation. And no offense taken to it at all It is a common enough term!

 

I understand how hard it is to trust when that trust has been broken before, but I think many of the things you are describing are rather normal little things...if she is always where she says she will be (I know I would rather people call my cell as it is right by me, for example!) and her friends giving her looks, or who wants to meet who for a chat...are all really small, probably very innocent things.

 

Is there a reason you have these trust issues? Has she done something in the past that broke your trust or has another past relationship done the same?

 

I think that it sounds like your girlfriend is currently quite open and understanding of this problem, but I do hope you can work on it before you push her away. I think it is best to go into a relationship having that base level of trust that the other will end up building on (or in some cases breaking) but if we go into it not trusting at all....it can really affect the other person and what they give to the relationship. And if you don't trust them, what do they have to lose...understand?

 

Keep the communication between you two open, don't make her feel like you are checking up on her....don't make it "HER" problem, but do work on that trust level you have within yourself and with each other...

 

Good luck