Cidmercury Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 My fiances ex and him have a child together so that's why she's in the picture. The last few years I've been on better terms with the ex girlfriend and not long ago she was venting about issue with her now boyfriend. We briefly talked about my fiancé (her ex/father of child) and I made a comment along the lines of "at least you have somebody to talk to about your boyfriend that knows him" (she was saying she's become close with his cousin). Anyways.. My fiances family is kind of odd.. I don't go to them with our issues and I don't vent to his friends either just out of respect sort of thing... If I need to I'll vent to my own friends when I want advice or opinions BUT it would be kind of nice to have someone to talk to that really knows him... So when I said that to his ex she mentioned I could talk to her about our issues and kinda laughed.. Like hello! I'm here I know him haha talk to me.. I'm temped to take her up on this but I also feel like it could be asking for trouble.. I want to trust her and be on good terms with her and we do communicate more and the fact she vented to me about her current boyfriend sort of made me more comfortable with her. What's your opinion?? Is this to good to be true would it just cause an issue? I also wouldn't want my fiancé to be upset with me because I talked to her. I also don't want to think somebody has good intentions when I'm just being nieve and too trusting.. But it would be reaaally nice to be about to go to someone who knows him and say hey I need an opinon etc.. Link to comment
mhowe Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 You are asking for trouble. Don't do it. It would be a huge violation of trust with your bf to talk to his ex about him. Link to comment
Andrina Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 Definitely not. The moment you or he pisses her off, and that always happens when there's a child involved, she could spout to him what you've been saying about him. If you've known him at least two years, I wouldn't think she knows anything more about him than you. If you haven't known him at least two years, I wouldn't marry him until you've known him at least that long. Link to comment
Denguin Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 Definitely sounds like unnecessary conflicts of interest and drama. My guess is that doing so will bite you in the rear sometime down the road. Link to comment
abitbroken Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 You guys seem like you are becoming friends. It is good to have a friend, but I would not be. I would be on 'friendly terms" since you are becoming her child's stepmom and need to get along. It is nice that you can talk unselfishly when it is going to come to birthdays, etc. for the child, but as far as her as a shoulder for issues with your fiance NO. You need to talk to your fiance about those issues and not triangulate. She may be sincere, but she can also be using any of that info against him to drive a wedge between you too or when it comes time to review visitation and custody. Link to comment
Cidmercury Posted March 29, 2015 Author Share Posted March 29, 2015 Perfect! Thanks for the responses.. I was definatly leaning towards NOT talking to her..this just makes me not second guess that. Link to comment
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