littlesmurf Posted March 24, 2015 Share Posted March 24, 2015 I was with my girlfriend for 1 year and we were in a LDR for the most of it. We met online and we later on, met in real life and had the best time ever together. She was always very controlling and would accuse me I am cheating if I tell her that I went to clean my room or do something. She chained me to herself and demanded explanations for everything, like I am some worst cheater ever. Few days ago I broke up with her because she did something that I found completely disrespectful to me and after it she sent me a picture of her crying. She said at that moment "I thought we were soulmates and that we wont end like this". Tomorrow I sent her a msg that I dont want to see her ever again and that she destroyed any chance of us getting back together. She reacted kinda bad and said bad things to me also. I called her tomorrow and told her EVERYTHING that was on my heart and she sounded like she DIDNT CARED a single bit!!! She was cynical and had a tone like she hates me and doesnt want to talk to me. I told her we will either now cut all contacts and say goodbye to each other forever or we will rebuild this, and she at first said "I love you but I dont want to be with you now! If you can change we can be together" and it ended up with us cutting all contact. She kept saying how I mistreated her and I was shouting at her. Yes I was shouting when she made me insane because of stuff she did! I never went in full rage on her out of the blue. I think she has her eye on someone, but I could be wrong about this one. She was very disconnected lately from me. Long story short: after I came back after we met in real life she was happy and sad because I left. She wanted me to stay, but there was no possibilities for that. Then after a month or two she started fighting with me and then break up with me and then call tomorrow and make up with me. I think we "brokeup" and got back together about 15 times by now... She was using breakups ever since and then calls me next day to apologize and to makeup with me. I got more and more depressed, because of how she treated me and this relationship. She would use breakups to break me down and I got depressed. We would at some points breakup one or two times per month. Lately we would breakup once a month. I simply had enough of all that. I couldnt handle a single more thing that she do wrong to me and I decided to cut it. She literally sucked the life out of me! She made me extremely unhappy and depressed and I didn't felt like doing anything. About her: She is extremely depressed girl that has very low self-esteem and soooo much of insecurities and doubts about herself and others. She also had very nasty childhood and you can say she was watching her mother getting molested so she probably has some traumas. She might even have BPD and she is currently going to a therapy... Plus this: she sleep texted some guy and in half dream like state told some guy "she would kiss him back". To be honest all of that sounds like a complete BS to me. But she DOES sleep-text me with some some lines that dont make any sense. Link to comment
christwowheels Posted March 24, 2015 Share Posted March 24, 2015 I read your post through a couple of times and I don't see anything in the form of a question (which means you'd lose on "Jeopardy," lol). So I'll just tell you what I think about all of this. As I understand it, you had an LDR with someone you probably met online and then visited her but things went a little batty after you got back home. It's understandable that there would be stress after you meet an online flame like that. Things go well and you want to be together but actually living in the city she does or vice versa is going to be a difficult journey that might take a year or more. That's something I'm dealing with too. And I confess that once since I visited my gf, I basically broke up with her, but it wasn't to control her, it was because I felt I wasn't good enough for her...we patched it up and I've been working very hard on myself. We've had problems, but no more of that. Your girlfriend might have been similarly understandable--though still damaging to the relationship--had she only broken up a couple times. But it sounds like a pattern was established that she would "leave" and then you'd patch it up somehow in the next few days. I can't imagine how continually awful that would feel. Now you decided you want to really end it, but since you two already have a pattern of reconciliation, this woman doesn't believe you. I myself am not really sure if you want it to be over or not. I guess the first thing to do is figure that out--do you want her in your life, yes or no? Once you have that answer, you can move forward with a strategy for the future. If you want her in your life, I really don't know what to tell you because this is going to be a troublesome relationship. She doesn't seem prepared for a relationship right now... If you want her out of your life, it's pretty simple, end all contact. Block her in every way possible and move on. Get into therapy yourself because there has to be a reason why you let yourself be treated this way for such a long time. Work on yourself for awhile, then move on and date other people when you're ready. Link to comment
littlesmurf Posted March 24, 2015 Author Share Posted March 24, 2015 Thank you for a very good ansewer!!! The only reason I let this going on for like 3,4 months is because we lost virginity to each other and we are 1st to each other in every possible way. We had plans of staying together and getting married and having kids together and so on... Link to comment
littlesmurf Posted March 24, 2015 Author Share Posted March 24, 2015 I told her she killed any chance of us getting back together and that I hate her and so on... 1st she started asking "what did I do", then on the end she wrote me "I luv yu bibs" and then tomorrow she said she sleep texted that part to me. It was a night and she said "I will go to sleep and goodnight" before that. Link to comment
littlesmurf Posted March 24, 2015 Author Share Posted March 24, 2015 "Tomorrow" is the day after "Today". So if you are saying what she did "tomorrow" then you're actually predicting the future. I sent her a msg day after the breakup and then called her next day to tell her what I had on my heart and end it with block and delete from everywhere. Link to comment
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