Unemployed living with parents and anxiety. Isolated in shame & povert

[Leona700]

I graduated from college got my first job, hated my boss and quite after a year. After I quite I got a hormone problem where I had to go on medication and it took a year for my health to finally return. Now I'm living home where my brother and I are both unemployed living on food stamps. To make matters worse I have social axiety that I have suffered with for the past 5 years. I take a small anxiety pill when I go to interviews but I'm still having a hard time finding a job. Interviews give me so much anxiety I can't even explain.

My parents look at us like why have you failed? Furthermore I grew up in poverty and a part of me thinks that I am here because I've never had a career plan to begin with. So imagine the pain of isolation in poverty? It is emotionally so painful. My bf is my only source of support but he lives in another state in a little town. I feel so traped in my own pain and shame I can't even let him know the truth about the shame of my families povert situation that I grew up in and feel trappedd in?

[1a1a]

American by any chance? There seems to be a pervasive attitude that if you are poor, that's your own fault for not trying hard enough. It's rubbish! When you haven't got the bare minimum amount of money to participate in society you soon fall behind. They don't call it a poverty trap for nothing. Think of yourself as being quite a way back from the starting line, when it feels like everyone is doing better than you, it's not Just because they worked for it, they also started closer to the finish line.

 

Are there any family members you like and trust enough to talk to about things like this? Do you have any friends you feel close enough to? It's fantastic that you have your boyfriend but as you say, he is far away, it would be practical and helpful to have some people on Team You living in your neighbourhood.

 

Is it possible to get onto some kind of temporary disability pension while you deal with your anxiety? Are there any free counselling services in your town that you could take advantage of? Can you find the time and courage to participate in some kind of volunteer role? This may not bring in any money but it will get you out of the house, meeting people, helping people and look good on your resume (I realise in order to do this you will also need to manage your anxiety which is easier to say than to do. I'm cheering for you from the other side of the screen).

[AnalyzeThis]

I am proud to be American by choice, not by chance. You're making assumptions and insulting and denigrating America because of the OP's individual choices and personal responsibility.

 

Did you read the part about how the OP hated the boss and quit the job?

[Snny]

I feel you. I work temp positions and qualify for food stamps. I am getting my second college degree with higher job prospects... But also a higher burn out rate. It has also added to my anxiety and I also do take medication to help curve it.

 

So here's what you need to do to get back in the game:

 

1. Find a workforce/ job agency. A lot of these places have workshops where they will teach you how to write a resume and some will even proofread them for you. They also provide mock interview and give you feedback on how to prepare or what to say in interviews. In addition they are in connection with other companies. The only way to get hired these days is through networking.

 

2. Re-evaluate your resume. Once you have taken the workshops, go back and reformat your resume. I reformatted my resume for an hour and applied for seasonal summer positions yesterday. Within 3 hours I was contacted by 2 HR reps who invited me for interviews today and tomorrow.

 

3. Take whatever entry level positions you can get. Foot in the door, start networking. And while you are working, continue to look for other jobs (and don't do it while you are work because that is the fastest way to get you fired).

 

4. Exercise. Go out for a jog before an interview to get the energy out. This prompts you to get up early and be ready and helps get rid of excessive energy.

[1a1a]

Yes I did, and the bits where she had a medical issue, and now a mental health issue and feels like she has a lack of support when really she started at a disadvantage.

 

I'm not assuming and denigrating America because of the OPs individual choices, I'm sharing a concept that has been shared with me (a non American, who has the luxury of a more objective perspective and a different frame of reference to your good self) by Americans who have looked around at the culture they are immersed in and gone "hang on a minute, what's with this thing where if you're poor it's always Your fault. What if it Isn't just your fault, what if the problem is actually a great deal more complex than that?"

 

Ops feeling super down about herself because of her poverty. I'm offering a different frame of reference, maybe with a new one where being dirt poor doesn't equal being bad, where maybe being poor is not entirely of her own doing and might have something to do with oh I don't know, the job market?! A lack of top notch education! A lack of job gaining social connections through not knowing anyone financially successful?!! Crippling social anxiety? An ever increasing hole in her work history?!!! Maybe once she entertains the idea that there may be greater forces at play holding her back, she will feel less like she is personally to blame and might be able to come up with ways to get herself into a better position.

 

I am proud to be American by choice, not by chance. You're making assumptions and insulting and denigrating America because of the OP's individual choices and personal responsibility.

 

Did you read the part about how the OP hated the boss and quit the job?

 

In three sentences you have just endorsed and validated my suggestion that Americans blame the individual when the individual fails. How about instead of getting your R-complex on, you offer the op some suggestions on how to manage her anxiety, neutralise the working hole in her resume and get a job in today's market?

[Traveler27]

I am proud to be American by choice, not by chance. You're making assumptions and insulting and denigrating America because of the OP's individual choices and personal responsibility.

 

Did you read the part about how the OP hated the boss and quit the job?

 

No, that poster was not "insulting and denigrating America...". They very astutely referenced a very common train of thought held by many Americans that if you are poor and struggling, it is your own fault. This is the most simplistic line of thinking and does not address the complex reasons and unique circumstances of each individual's situation. Believe it or not, there are some countries that do not judge people based upon their rank in society and have more egalitarian societies of which they are very proud of. I wouldn't be proud of a nation that has such a huge disparity between rich and poor, and that gap continues to get larger, and the system is often set up to make it very difficult for those in poverty to escape the cycle. Your post shows no compassion and offers no advice to the OP.

 

OP, sorry to hear that you are suffering. I can only suggest to not give up, and do not be so hard on yourself. Good luck.