vr6s60r63 Posted March 10, 2015 Share Posted March 10, 2015 This is my first time doing something like this and I feel like I dont have anyone to talk to, but here it goes. I'm 25 working at a good job living on my own. I come from a good family and I'm responsible. I've always been the type to be dating I'm not much for the single life. I rather be out having dinner with my gf then going out with buddies getting drunk or going to clubs. 2 years prior to this I was single and I met a girl through a co worker(btw its her sister) we met get along so well and I honestly couldn't get her off my head for almost two months. There was a problem, she was still currently married but separated. Also she has a 2 year old with him but of course that isn't the problem in any way. So I ask her out as friends and she told me all about her situation. Weeks went by of going out hanging out and honestly we fell for each other. We dated for 3 months and finally ask her to be my girlfriend and 3 months went by and things were amazing. Although with me, as months went by the whole thing I of her and her ex husband became harder and harder. She would tell me that they didn't have communication other then when it was about her son like they wouldn't ask each other what your doing, but I kinda didn't believe it. I became insecured and kept questioning those thing between them. One day I had her phone because I was fixing something and she got a text for her ex, and said what are you doing, I gave her the phone and asked her I thought u dont text each other what your doing. She told me that she doesn't have control on what he texts, agreed. Weeks went by and the fact of her and her ex husband still came to mind and we would talk about it, and I could see that I would do it so I can have reinsurance. Three weeks ago she slept over at my house and we were drinking. It was almost 1am and they were texting and I said what can u guys possibility be texting if ur sons asleep and she says its not like were texting each other what we are doing. Then 30 mins later he calls her and I said well pick it up, she picks up and he says so what are you doing?(btw he doesn't know about me at this time) so we had yet another argument and she said again she doesn't have control what he does or says things got out of hand and she wanted to drive home because she felt awkward I had to basically take away her keys because I was afraid she would get pulled over. Next we woke up talk about it and got over it. A hard week(because of dealing with all this) for me goes by And during the week things seem weird between us, like distance. So that weekend she sleeps over we had some drinks had sex (not for the first time of course) and during sex she fell asleep which is understanding cause we were both kinda drunk. That night I made the biggest mistake and had the stupid idea to go through her phone. I didn't find much but she did delete her messages from her phone. Only messages from that day were there. I found something that were he sent a picture of her son and said we are eating and she said aww my two philipinos. I guess I over reacted and got upset. Set her phone back on the page. She woke up noticed I slept on the floor woke me up and asked me why em I there, I told u fell asleep during sex and took up the whole bed and I have something else, she grab her phone I told her what I saw. She got very upset that I went threw her phone and invaded her privacy and trust. I can understand why she would be mad but also confused because she had mention before that we shouldn't have to hide stuff from our phones and in one occasion, her son was using my phone and opened up a text message window were I was having a small conversation with an ex of mine. She has her bf and she knew I was with my gf. Anyways she saw it grab the phone from her son and talked to me about. She didn't like the idea of me having a conversation with an ex or having communication with an ex and I understood apologize and we got threw it. Always back to my main story, she got mad said basically that I wasnt ready for a relationship like this that I should find someone without baggage and left. Later that day we kinda talked and said things would be okay but that she needs space and that we shouldn't see each other that much. Also she wont be sleeping over anymore. The next week she tells her ex husband about me and he tells her that he's seeing other people as well but as a favor to not bring their son around me because he doesn't want another man in his life right now, which I completely understand! But I became so attached and in love with her son, so now I can't see him. And now I only see my girlfriend on the weekend. I'm having such a damn hard time with it. I love her so much she nothing like I've ever been with, and now doing this space for her sucks. She doesn't talk to me as much and we only see each other on the weekend. And when we do see each other things are so different. She doesn't talk time as she use to, feels like were a million miles away and all I can do is kick myself for all this that's going on because this all my fault. What kind of advice can you give me on dealing with this better? She says she loves me, I just dont feel it anymore. I dont want to break up and she say she doesn't either but that she needs her space. If you have any question about what I said please ask me I would like to give u as much information so u can give me the best advice. She's 27 and her son is 2. Link to comment
vr6s60r63 Posted March 10, 2015 Author Share Posted March 10, 2015 Delete please I realize i put this in the wrong sections. I meant to put in relationship section Link to comment
vr6s60r63 Posted March 10, 2015 Author Share Posted March 10, 2015 Does anyone know how I can close/remove this thread so I can post on the correct section? I do apologize for the inconvenience Link to comment
kmae23 Posted March 10, 2015 Share Posted March 10, 2015 People are reading your post, but maybe not all of it. Some advice, try to edit it it with punctuation and paragraphs. As it is, it is a very hard read. I received some similar advice on this board, and it helped me a lot. My knee jerk reaction from your post: break it off with this woman. She married her husband because she loved him, she then went and started a relationship with someone else and seems to blame you for her own personal issues. She is making her issues, your issues and you are allowing it. You are insecure because you realize she is STILL married, with a very young child. She may be finding reasons to distance herself from you, because she plans to be back with her husband. Break it off completely, go no contact (post here on your progress) and never date a married person again. Ever, no matter what! Link to comment
kmae23 Posted March 10, 2015 Share Posted March 10, 2015 Oh and I am very sorry you are hurting. But maybe it is better to rip off the band aid than tearing it slowly. Link to comment
mhowe Posted March 10, 2015 Share Posted March 10, 2015 She is still married...and she is still with him. Time for you to exit the.picture. Link to comment
Sportster2005 Posted March 10, 2015 Share Posted March 10, 2015 TL;DR paragraphs please. Link to comment
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