Why?

[brigirl92]

Idk if this is the right place to post this, but need a mini rant.

 

My best friend is getting on my damn nerves. Like isn't it inconsiderate to constantly contact someone wanting relationship advice when you know I just broke up with my boyfriend? It ticks me off cause I feel like you don't have any type of regard for what I might be going through.

 

Not even two days after my ex broke up with me, and she knew cause I told her, she texts me saying she was sad. I ask why and she says because she misses her boyfriend, she's in a LDR. A week before Valentines Day, she calls just to talk about all the things they are going to do, and the gifts she's already got, etc.

 

I love my best friend and I don't mind giving advice or listening to her share her happiness, but I just think this is inconsiderate on her part. Is it bad that she is asking me if I'm busy and I want to say yes, even though I'm not, cause I don't care to hear about how much she misses her bf and her talk about him?

 

I'm not bitter causes she's dating, I'm happy for her, but at least consider what I might be going through when you come to me to talk about your relationship.

 

Rant done.

[derroax]

Hiya, definitely the right place for people to share their feelings and get support. I can imagine you're going through a difficult time as a result of your breakup

I think that if her love stories are upsetting you, you should tell her that you're still struggling with your own break-up, and her stories remind you of the things you're trying to deal with, which is a bit hurtful.

 

I think that her behaviour is normal, and from what you describe you always share these stories. So in that regard she is still being a good friend.

 

I am not minimising what you're feeling - what I'm trying to say is that if something bothers you, it's your responsibility to let her know. It's not her responsibility to figure it out on her own. You have control over your life and you're responsible to set boundaries when something is not ok, even (or especially) with the people we care most about. By getting upset and not saying anything, you're giving away your power to her and letting her decide how to use that control, and while she may have your best interest at heart, she might not know what you need unless you tell her.

 

It sounds more like you need a friendly ear and shoulder to help you cope with your breakup, and that's what friends are for!

 

Hope you figure things out together xx

[Sarah691607309662]

I noticed many times - certain women just LOVE flaunt it into your face their successes when they learn about your pain. It is actually quite funny. The moment I would tell at work something like for example "my tooth broke", the woman will always perk up and share "omg, my teeth feel SO good today, it is amazing how happy I am with my perfect mouth!" And it is constant. At the beginning it annoyed me, because I do not like people who use others to build themselves up. But later I got used to it and I would say "good for you!!!!" and for some reason I noticed that when I started responding this way, it somehow brought down all her inspiration to brag....

 

I do believe that women are sensitive enough to understand those things and when they ignore to be considerate, it is usually for two reasons:

 

1) your friend is basking in what she sees to be her temporary personal advantage

2) your friend considers you so much stronger than her, so you play an authority role for her. In this case people fail to consider feelings of strong individual. they assume a strong person is invincible.