Ex called a few times last month but she is still in a RS??

[Lucha]

Sounds like you are frustrated with many things and your X is the most logical choice to project those frustrations on.

On a side note. I have traveled thru the US and Europe by myself and have had great times. Why cant you just be happy going out on trips by yourself? If you cant enjoy your own company how to expect others to?

All this is just temporary... there is light at the end of the tunnel.. dont give up.. you will have a life soon.

 

To me, it's not that I can't be alone, i am alone all the time. But the things I get my energy out of, things I enjoy.. All involve people.

 

 

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[Clinton]

I have to say you are one of the more bitter people I've seen. That's not a judgement, just a fact.

 

Life throws all of us curves. We all go through periods where things arent Ideal. I don't know anyone who has lived a life without tragedy and heartache.

 

It's how you deal with it that defines who you are. Cliche maybe, but true none the less.

 

I lost the girl I considered my soul mate and both my parents in a three year period. But i got up everyday believing better times were ahead. Sure, a lot of days sucked, but on average I had more good than bad.

 

I don't wish my ex ill. I don't want to hear from her again either and made that clear to her, but I hope she's ok. And after that I let her go totally. I don't follow her life, I don't wonder what she's doing and I sure wouldn't compare my life to hers. Her happiness, her success or failure has no baring on my happiness.

 

I went out and made a new life after she left because only I am responsible for my happiness. It's not a better life or a worse life. It's a different life. And I'm good with it.

 

You can chose to hang on to regret and unhappiness if you want to. Just realise you're doing this to yourself right now. No one is making you unhappy except you at this stage.

 

You have a choice to make. Move forward or be stuck in the misery you now find yourself in. Stop blaming others for your predicament. It's totally up to you.

[mhowe]

Very true.

 

Two years ago, in a six month period, my mother died of a aggressive form of dementia, my brother had two heart procedures (he is fine now) and I broke up with bf. There were days when I simply wanted to step in front of a bus.

 

But I didn't. I got up every day and slogged through it. Hands down the darkest days of my life.

 

Today...my world is back in balance. My mum is still dead, but the darkest days are behind me. My brother got married to his long time gf and my bf and I are back together and going strong.

 

I am stronger, clearer and happier than I thought imaginable two years ago. From the ashes...you can smolder or rebirth.

[Ms Darcy]

I will add that it's not that no one is interested in you. You are just not interested in anyone else who is interested in you ... but you're focused on your ex. So that's not about life being unfair but rather you being stuck in the past.

[Lucha]

Very true.

 

Two years ago, in a six month period, my mother died of a aggressive form of dementia, my brother had two heart procedures (he is fine now) and I broke up with bf. There were days when I simply wanted to step in front of a bus.

 

But I didn't. I got up every day and slogged through it. Hands down the darkest days of my life.

 

Today...my world is back in balance. My mum is still dead, but the darkest days are behind me. My brother got married to his long time gf and my bf and I are back together and going strong.

 

I am stronger, clearer and happier than I thought imaginable two years ago. From the ashes...you can smolder or rebirth.

 

I'm sorry all this awful things happened to you. Inspiring story. I had a lot of losses in a one year period too.

 

 

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[Lucha]

I will add that it's not that no one is interested in you. You are just not interested in anyone else who is interested in you ... but you're focused on your ex. So that's not about life being unfair but rather you being stuck in the past.

 

I also thought of that possibility but then again there were two people that really did caught my interest. One lives 300kms away and liked me too but didnt want a LDR. The other is just not interested in me that way, bummer..

 

Do you still think I am stuck on my ex? I feel more than ready to fall in love again. I don't love my ex anymore. I'm just bitter at her having a seemingly 'more successful ' life.. Or love life anyways

 

 

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[Lucha]

Yeah I admit I am bitter since the one who I considered the love of my life once broke up with me.

 

However I don't think everyone can be mr positive in life, you have people that deal with things better than others. I guess I have a poor coping system. It is who I am and I try very hard to be positive, I certaibly am not a quitter or a whiner . But I am bitter. I go through life with a "oh someone is gettibg married again! Great" kinda mentality. A lot of cynicism. That is my way of dealing with the dissapointments I guess and its not very productive.

 

You don't have a choice over everything.. Sometimes you also need a little luck in life.. Don't you think?

 

 

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[Clinton]

What do they say? Luck is when preparation meets opportunity.

 

I get being pessimistic to a certain extent. But you have to allow for the possibility of better times. And i believe anyone can make themselves a bit more positive. You don't have to wallow in the depths of despair.

 

And yes luck is involvesd, some good people lead crappy lives.

 

But people are more attracted to positive people. Something to think about.

 

You're letting a bad relationship define your life right now. Why give anyone else that power over you. Pessimism hasn't worked for you. Why not try something else.

[Ms Darcy]

Do you still think I am stuck on my ex? I feel more than ready to fall in love again. I don't love my ex anymore. I'm just bitter at her having a seemingly 'more successful ' life.. Or love life anyways

 

 

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If you are still bitter towards her, then yes you are still stuck. The opposite of love is indifference. Bitterness keeps you tied to her and shows you have residual feelings.