I've been feeling very sad lately

[diana084]

And its afffecting my relationship.There's not a day that I dont cry,I've just been through a lot of stress lately,and sometimes I feel like I cant deal with it.I love my bf and he loves me and he's such a good person and yet I dont understand,if he says something that bothers me I get mad and then sad and then I start crying,I dont know whats wrong with me.I've always been a sensitive person but these past weeks have been really bad! I was thinking that it could be hormonal cause I was late but I got my period saturday allready and I'm still feeling very sensitive at times.I've been having problems with my dad (always actually,since I was a child)It affects me so much sometimes when he does the same mistakes again,I get so sad.

I know my bf tries to be patient but I feel like I'm messing it up.I already told him maybe it would be best to stop seeing each other for a while but he doesnt want to do that.I mean,its like,if he does or says something that bothers me,I get extremely sad and sensitive about it and start crying,I get mad too but the sad part is the worst.It wasnt like that with me before! I'm trying to de-stress myself but nothing seems to be good enough.I try to draw,which I love to do,and it helps me.I have an art class that I signed for but it doesnt start until 2 weeks.Plus,theres the fact that I have tickets to see Josh Groban in Tampa next tuesday,and since I'm having so many problems with my bf,I dont know if I should go or not. Just for info,my bf is in Tampa right now going to school.I wanna see Josh but I dont know,these past weeks have been an emotional rollercoaster for me and everyday has been different,one day I was sure I wanted to go,the next one I wasnt and so on and so on. I dont wanna hurt my bf but I dont think that he has to put up with me the way that I am right now.I dont wanna fight with him all the time.

Any advice on how I can deal with this,or control myself or has anyone gone through something similar? Thanks in advance.

[atlas]

Sorry to hear you have not been doing great. It sounds like you might be starting to get depressed, have you ever thought about talking to a therapist or someone like that? Think about it

[mr sad]

um yea i have felt the same way. for about a year and a half after seeing my dad beaten to within an inch of his life i was extremely sad, suicidal, etc.

you can get through this (and no u dont need a therapist, that seems to be everyones crappy piece of advice). you have bf who cares for you deeply. from what you have said it looks as tho he wants to be there for you, dont push him away. i would have killed for someone to be there for me in my time of need.

find what makes you happy or less sad. do those things, recreate those events and be happy. : )

[PrincessLinzay]

you can get through this (and no u dont need a therapist, that seems to be everyones crappy piece of advice).

 

I will strongly disagree with that. Psychiatrists are the only ones next to your doctor who can prescribe you medication. But the psychiatrists are the ones who can better figure out what it is you need. It definitely sounds like something is not right and you need to seek help.

 

I dealt with depression for almost 7 years, and only recently found the right meds at the right dose to balance me out. Depression is a disease, it's not necessarily something that goes away. Much of it is caused by chemical imbalance. Like any other ailment, you can take medication to help you. And no, it doesn't change who you are.

 

My boyfriend has told me that since I've gone on the medication it's been like night and day. My parents have said the same. You get so good at pretending you're okay that when you actually are, you would be amazed how good it feels. Therapists are there to help, and sometimes it feels really good to talk to someone who doesn't know you and can look at your situation objectively. I only wish that I had known that years ago. I was stubborn and refused to talk to anyone or take my meds, if I had exercised some common sense, I would have been so much happier long ago!

 

Good luck!

[diana084]

Hey atlas,my bf loves that book of your avatar,'The little Prince',you just made me thought of him.

About the therapy thing,I've been to a psychologist before.Always because of the same (my dad) I know it does help,but seriously,I dont wanna take any medications cause I dont feel really drepressed to that point.I'm sad at times,but not the whole day.And I go to work and go on with my life.It just seems like I'm always waiting for my bf to say the right things lately and he doesnt always know what to say.Then I get upset,sad,etc.

I just talked to my mom,she always makes me feel better.I know I can get through this but jeez,I just get so irritable sometimes that I cant understand how other people like me.

Maybe seeing Josh would actually help me feel better,but first I have to think what to do about my relationship,cause my bf and I didnt have a very nice conversation today about it

Anyway,thanks everyone so far for your advice.Its highly appreciated.

[PrincessLinzay]

There's not a day that I dont cry,I've just been through a lot of stress lately,and sometimes I feel like I cant deal with it.

 

I don't know, that doesn't sound like you aren't "that" depressed.

 

Just because you go on with life and do normal things doesn't mean you aren't depressed. Most people who suffer with depression perform normal daily activities.

 

There are a lot of people out there that sneer at the idea of taking medication, but the fact is, if it makes you feel better, and makes you a better person to be around? Wouldn't you want to?

 

Of course it's your choice, but being depressed all the time pushes people away. It's not fair to put the weight of your happiness on your boyfriend's shoulders. He shouldn't have to be saying all the right things and doing all the right things just to make you happy. That's a lot of pressure to put on someone. You have to make yourself happy first.

 

Good Luck~!

[annie24]

Are you taking birth control pills? When I was taking them, I turned into a total basketcase. I would cry at absolutely ANYTHING. A car commerical. Fog.

 

If you are taking birth control, you may consider switching to a different one that may go better with your body. Or in general, are you taking any drugs (legal or illegal)? They could also be messing up with your body chemistry.

[mr sad]

depression is a state of mind. i stongly disagree with you Princess. drugs arent the answer. dont they say "winners dont use drugs"

a therapist is for someone who believes that they cannot overcome the problem by themselves. the answer is that we can overcome it on our own, we simply choose not to do it alone.

its your choice. be independent, look inside and see what causes it, try to do it alone. if you dont believe that you can then by all means go for it.

 

but again, i strongly disagree with the use of drugs.

 

a study was done on some kids who wanted to be part of an experiment.

the students were divided into 2 even groups. then there were 2 pills, a red one and a blue one. they were told that the blue one contained a tranquiliser and the red one was an anphetamine.

after taking the pills the students who had taken the blue pills seemed lifeless and less active while the students who had the anphetamine where hyperactive.

but they had been lied to. in actuality the red one contained the tranquiliser and the blue one was the anphetamine.

 

the kids minds had tricked them into believing that the drugs were working. when they were the opposite ones.

drugs are not the answer

[PrincessLinzay]

Im sorry to burst your bubble Sadboy, but depression is NOT a state of mind. It's a chemical imbalance.

 

Your body producing too much of, or not enough of, a certain hormone. This is the reason why pregnant women are moody........sudden influx in their hcg levels. That's why there's postpartum depression after giving birth. I use this as an example because it's easier to understand. It's not something you can "wish away". For some people it's a state of mind, but only if they were misdiagnosed in the first place. There is a reason why it's called clinical depression. Yes people get sad, I still get sad and Im on antidepressants. But I don't have to be sad all the time!

 

I would never try to counsel someone who was on the verge of suicide, I would never tell them, "all this stuff you're feeling is in your head, if you think hard enough, it will go away". I would recommend that they seek professional help!

 

You try telling someone with OCD that things don't have to be that neat, or that they don't have to wash their hands so often. Convince them that it's all in their head. Or someone who's bipolar and has tried to commit suicide. Tell them that they don't need to take meds, that they can think the chemical imbalance away.

 

Some people have genuine problems (physical/mental), and need help to diagnose them.

 

Im not sure exactly what it is you have against psychiatrists, or people taking medication. Not everyone is able to simply "make themself feel better". Sorry, but it doesn't work that way.

[mr sad]

i can see your point Princess. but. the point of this thread is for diana084, not to push our opinions.

my point is that diana084 seems to be going about daily tasks and in her times of solitude has these strong feelings. you maybe diagnosed as clinically depressed Princess but from what diana084 has stated do you believe that she is also clinically depressed? i would doubt it.

so you must admit that the circumstances are different, thereforeeee the solution is different.

Princess' situation seems to be extreme thereforeeee and extreme solution is required.

Diana084 you sound as tho you arent in a position where you need extreme measures to find happiness.

we are all seeking happiness, even me. my only adivce would be to find someone who has achieved this and ask them what makes them so happy? what were they doing? where were they? and try to find some way that you could partially replicate their successes.

 

i bid you good luck

 

[Amethyst]

Diana, the main point here is that it often helps to talk about your feelings. If you are comfortable doing that with a friend or here at eNotalone, that's fine. If you are more comfortable seeing a counselor (who does NOT have to prescribe you medication), then that's fine, too. The idea behind it is simply to help you feel better and more easily cope with your feelings. Whatever would make *you* more comfortable and be the biggest help for *you* is what you need to do.

 

----

 

The rest of this post is directed to Mr. Sad:

 

i can see your point Princess. but. the point of this thread is for diana084, not to push our opinions.

 

#1 When a person comes asking for advice, that means they are ASKING for opinions. No one said you had to agree with all opinions stated, but you certainly don't need to go around telling others they shouldn't be sharing their thoughts.

 

#2 If you're so big on "not pushing opinions", then why are you pushing your OWN opinion?

 

What would make me think you're pushing your opinion? Well, it's clear from your posts:

 

you can get through this (and no u dont need a therapist, that seems to be everyones crappy piece of advice)

 

Obviously, YOUR opinion is that therapists are of little use -- that's why it's such a "crappy piece of advice". Guess what? That's YOUR opinion. Others are allowed to have opinions, too -- even if they...*gasp*...disagree with your own.

 

you maybe diagnosed as clinically depressed Princess but from what diana084 has stated do you believe that she is also clinically depressed? i would doubt it.

 

So, because YOU "doubt it", it can't be true, right? Wrong. I'm not saying it is or isn't true, but I *am* saying that we (and that includes YOU) aren't qualified to make that diagnosis (especially considering that we don't have all the facts of the situation). Just as you don't think Lindzay has the right to say that Diana IS clinically depressed, *you* do not have to the right to say that she is NOT.

 

Continuing on:

 

so you must admit that the circumstances are different, thereforeeee the solution is different.

 

Again, you're stating that because YOU do not believe something to be true, no one else should believe it either. Once again, let me state that *your* opinion is no better or worse than anyone else's.

 

Mr. Sad, what's good for the goose is good for the gander. If you don't like others pushing their opinions on you, then you should really stop pushing YOUR opinions on others.

[mr sad]

my words have been misinterpreted. i think of them differently then to the way you all have reacted upon them.

 

the thing is my intentions are good.

my point was that im trying to show you that the human spirit is not like any other. you seem to underestimate the power of one person.

all i have trying to get as is that should you go about this alone and overcome it alone you will be a stronger more independent person. then for future problems you will be more confident that you will be able to overcome it.

 

as they say

"say what you mean, not mean what you say"

or however it goes. apologies if i have offended anyone, my intentions are good.

[Amethyst]

all i have trying to get as is that should you go about this alone and overcome it alone you will be a stronger more independent person.

 

And, all I'm trying to say is that everyone is different. Some may be able to handle things alone, but some can't. I don't know Diana's personality and you don't either; thus, we should not try to decide if she is one who can handle it alone or not. (As I said earlier, Diana, that is your decision. You know yourself much better than *we* know you. )

 

Mr. Sad, you seem to think that if a person "goes it alone" then it *must* follow that s/he will become stronger. That's not necessarily true. Some break under the weight of the load they carry; that's why there is such a thing as suicide. Isn't it better for someone to turn to another human being than to a loaded gun or bottle of pills?

 

I consider myself stronger than the average person as far as being able to handle tough situations; but, even I have had to admit that I *need* other people sometimes. Sure, I can get through a lot on my own; but, there are just times when I *need* another person to help me.

 

Others can offer a different perspective, a shoulder to cry on, and strength for the times we feel so weak. There is absolutely nothing wrong with realizing we need help. In fact, as I said to you before, I think it shows just how strong we are when we can humble ourselves enough to admit that we *can't* do it alone.