How can I forget about this guy?

[Hubbahubba]

I met this really great guy over a year ago when I was travelling. I am not really the romantic type but it struck me that he was an incredibly kind person. I really loved spending time with him. Even the way he looked at me was incredible. He is from Denmark, but we agreed to meet up when I was back in England at the beginning of Jan 2014, about 2 months then. So, we stayed in contact.

 

Anyway, I was going to meet him and then he said that he couldn't anymore. He had been on a date before his holiday, but that it hadn't led to anything. Then, a few weeks after he got back, she got back into contact with him. He said he really liked me but that the odds were too high. I was gutted, and didn't stay in contact with him.

 

Then, in July 2015 I had a stopover in Denmark so I messaged him. He said he was happy to hear from me. We met for coffee, and he quickly said that he had a gf. It was really great to see him again and we talked and laughed for hours. However, I was under no illusions about the situation. I really loved seeing him again, but it felt like my stomach fell to the floor when I left. He did tell me to let him know when I was in town again, but I wasn't so sure.

 

Fast forward to January 2016 and I was in Copenhagen again. So, I sent him a quick message just asking about cheap places to eat there. However he didn't reply this time.

 

During the last year or so, I have done all the things you are supposed to do to forget about someone... I have dated other people, spent time with friends and family, visited new places, found new hobbies etc,

 

But I haven't forgotten about this guy. A long-distance relationship with anyone wouldn't bother me at all as I am completely open to what life is going to throw at me over the next few years, and would be prepared to move countries for the right person.

 

Today it was on my newsfeed that he is on a city break with his gf. It actually made me feel like I wanted to cry... and I feel ridiculous.

[Willywagtail]

Um, I got slightly confused by your post because of the dates ..... but no matter!

 

Please don't be offended, but I think you're suffering from a bad case of unrequited love. The friendship was never anything more, and it sounds as if he was decent and kind and that he was straight with you about not wanting more.

 

You need to get over it. He isn't available and never really was.

 

If are truly open to what life might bring you then stop mooning over him. Stop contact, delete his news feed from your FB. Life will bring you nothing if you persist in maintaining the fantasy that something might happen between you.

 

Until such time as you genuinely make an effort to have no contact with him and move on, you will be stuck in this limbo of despair and hope.

[margyface]

You're hooked on this guy and he obviously chose a different path. Delete his contact info permanently! No more phone number, Facebook, email, etc. When he's gone from sight for real, you can begin to forget about him.