he says he wants a time out

[chocos]

i have been seeing him for almost 3 years and we were going along fine. We have been studying together. and now, for the past 2 months we were on a long distance relationship. He now tells me he wants a time out. He says he does not know if i am the one. He says that he is confused and he does not know anything. He says that he cannot confide in me and many other hurtful things.

 

He gives me a bad attitude whenever i try to contact him.... he still calls me "dear" and he says he loves me

 

I really don't understand. Please advice

[bster]

i'm not him so what i think may be wrong, but you posted this 'cuz you wanna know what other ppl think, so here i am...

 

i think he's confused 'cuz he either met someone else or just find other girls attractive. he needs some time off so he can find out how it goes with whoever he want without feeling guilty to you. it does NOT mean he will do it, but he wanna make himself available if a situation arise. i give this guy a credit for at least trying to avoid cheating on you behind your back. i'm sure he loves you, and that's why he's telling you "how" he feels - you just don't understand it 'cuz he's not telling you "why" he feels that way.

 

if you firmly believe you two are good together, and he truly loves you and enjoys being with you, your relationship is not over yet provided that he is due to come back to where you are eventually. You just need to accept the time off and stop calling. you two were happly together for 3 years without any other major problems, right? believe that he will miss you and come back to you. it may take a couple months, but after he tastes other flavours, he realize that you are so much better.

 

it must be hard to deal with a situation when your the other half is miles away from you. but be strong!

[chocos]

we did have some problems.... because he is my first and i am his first as well.. we are inexperience in relationships. But we have seen our future and even beyond!

 

We have quarrelled quite a bit recently before the time out but i really didn't think it was that bad, i think it is because of stresses with work and exams.. i am not too sure myself.. he told me to give him 2 weeks to think of the relationship.

 

We used to talk on the phone often, i teased him, he jokes, and now he is telling me that the teases meant something to him and that he felt tied to the phone having to call me.

 

What besides calling can he do when he does not like talking online and does not like phone text messaging??

 

I am really despaired

[smiles314]

Hey! I know how hard long distance relationships are. That is how my previous relationship ended.. We were together only for 6 months but everything was so good, and we were really happy and I thoguht we were very much in love. He was the one who had started with the idea of continuing to stay together throughout the summer where we would be 4 hrs apart. But within a month or so of this time, he suddenly decided that something just cliqued and he couldn't handle it anymore. He didn't give me a reason as to why he wanted to break up, just said he didn't know. Now he even did this to me online. THe break up was out of the blue completely, he just started being very weird to me as the time and distance progressed between us. My point is that you are not at alone at all with this and I htink sometimes that really helps a person to know that. I have been thinking that perhaps it has to do with people's separate lives at home.. People just act different when they are around there other friends and there in another environment. Maybe this guy isn't interested in someone else. Maybe he just realizes that he can't take a long distance relationship and he wants to be free to do whatever. This is just my experience, but my ex bf wasn't interested in another girl he just wanted to be with his buddies and not wanted to be held responsibility for having to keep in touch with me all the time. During this summer, the same type of thing is happening again. He is being a lot different with me while he's at home now just because he is doing his own thing and stuff.

All I'm really trying to get at is perhaps guys just have a weird thing when it comes to distance. Too much distance I don't think is necessarily good. But when you guys meet up again i a few months I think he will try to contact you and talk to you. As for now maybe it is best to just not talk to him and keep distance emotionally and work on what is good for you.. I know distance sucks. If you ever want to talk I am here to listen

 

GL though!!

[chocos]

I guess you are right... he would be coming back in a months time.. but would be back for only a week, after that, he would be going back overseas for another 5 months and then he would be back for good.. i really do pray that things would work out..

 

thanks for the encouragement...

 

But it really is hard to let go...

[DealingWithIt]

Whenever a guy tells you he needs break....most of the time, its about another girl. I gave my now ex the time and space he needed but things were a bit on the rocky side. He seemed irritated whenever I call him and just thought that its about his personal problems and thats the reason why he's like that. He was still telling me that he loves me and wants a future with me. Time passes by...and I endured his "attitude" for months and I eventually found out that he has been involved with another girl. He couldn't tell me about it, I don't know...maybe he felt guilty.

 

My advice....give him the space he needed. If he comes back, then he realized that what he has with you is important that whatever made him want space from you. By the way, just because he's your first doesn't mean that he's the ONE....there are other men out there who can treat you much better and be faithful to you.

[chocos]

I know that being the first is not necessarily the one. But i really want to work things out between us.

 

I have asked him if there was someone else, he firmly said "no". I know him well for the past few years and i know that he is not like that. He wouldn't look for someone else if he is in a relationship. So i really don't know. Just feel that my mind is one big mess!!

 

Do you think he would come back and try to work things out?

[chocos]

and now he has put me on his invisible list....