i just want to end my life now!!im sick of all the drama....

[kimmie61788]

I kno u hear the expression "well life will get better, just wait" well not for me i dont kno how much more i can take of this. all of it. i just wanna take a gun to my head and end it while i still have the chance. Im sick so sick so weak. I tried to change my life around. i really did gave it many of many efforts an still its seems as if no matter what i do is hopeless. im scared of what may happen. i dont wanna be alive anymore to find out thou. i have been getting these terrible nightmares. my friends all of them backstabbed me and talk smack. all i wanna do is cry. i even tried to stop smoking, but i gave into today aftera week of smoking and had one. i feel like hell now cuz of that. IT just feels like i dont have a meaning anymore. as if im not even wanted. all of my friends who i thought were there for me seems as if i meant nothing too them. Most teens my age are out drinking haveing fun. but i had to mature alot faster then any of them .and u know it sucks i never had the chance to be a kid. not really. so whats the point. why should i keep living on if nothing is gonna change. i have this guilt so strong in my stomach thats eating me alive. i hear this voice in the back of my head saying end ur life do it now b4 u really mess up ur life. i just am about to do it. i have no other chance. i dunno any help too ppl that used to be in my place and made it. i just am a failure...............

[Jimbo10]

I know that at this point your feeling lower than you ever thought you could. I know that your feeling like your only option left is to end it all. But that wouldn't be right ok. God puts all of us here for a purpose. Whether you religious or not, it's true. Right now, it's hard to see the light, but remember that it does exsist.

 

Now, depression is an extremely serious DISEASE. That's right. You personally can have some, but minimal control over what it is doing to you personality, and emotions. Right now, that hardest thing in thet world just might be going to the doctor and say that you have a problem, but I want you to think of seeing a PHD your ONLY OPTION!

 

There is medications that will help you feel better. Get your foot back into your life, and take back control of this disease. Please, please, if you need to go with a friend or family by all means, whatever it is, go see a doctor. They can help you an amazing ammount!

 

My mom went through depression like you, I hafta admit, my life is extremely privileged. It can happen to anyone, and you just need to be as strong as possible and see a doctor. I promise, things will start to look up.

 

Good luck sweety, your in my prayers tonight

[kimmie61788]

i dont want to be drugged up, i dont want to be on medication its all a bunch of smack. my life will better be off gone then let rotting. theres not much left too say i think i already made my mind up. im just so confused. why o why god did this have to happen to me!!!!!!

[Jimbo10]

The lord works in mysterious ways

 

When my mom was on her medication, she had no side effects of being "doped up on medication" or anything to that matter. I believe she felt drowsy, but sleeping was all she wanted to do before she started medication anyway, and she felt no more dopped up then when you take Dimatap for a cold or anything.

 

I assure you, the medication will not make your situation worse, and I think your true fear is of going to the doctor and admitting you need help. I promise, after you can get the strength to do that, you will be over the hardest part. Please, don't act like I don't know what I'm talking about, Medication is the answer for you.

 

Rotting in the ground is not the way you want to leave this earth. There is so much in store if you can get the strenth to overcome your problems. Ending it all is not the solution, it's just passing off your problems to the people who love you. Even though you might not think they love you now...they really do! Part of depression is shutting off others. You really do need help, and it's available. Listen, if you need to talk to me, PM me, I'll give you my msn, and we can talk for as long as you like.

 

Edit: My mom only had to stay on medication 1 year, not that long when your only 16! PS: I don't drink or have a gf. Sometimes it sucks, but you know, a lot of the time, people are a complete opposite of who they are in high school. Lots of those 'cool kids' will still have their jobs at Burger King in 25 years at your highschool reunion, and you, having a good job, or good family or both, can just smile politly, and now that you chose the right path in the long run

[Mun]

Hi Kimmie,

I think those kids you are talking about that are out there drinking and having "fun" as you put it are being stupid. They are too young to be doing that sort of thing. You seem way more mature than they are just because you realize that life is not all fun and games .. there is more to life than getting drunk.

 

I can understand how hopeless it all looks. I remember being 13 and wanting to end my life too. I don't even remember the reason anymore. It was so long ago. But I'm glad I didn't. I would have missed out on this life I have now and my kids and everything.

 

I hear you about not wanting to be on drugs but sometimes it's just a temporary thing...just to get you by for now until you are feeling better. Most people get counseling too and work out whatever they are feeling that way. I know because I too went through therapy to deal with certain issues I had.

 

Have you tried that?

[Caldus]

Alright, here goes...

 

I went through clinical depression all throughout high school. I made it out and now I never ever want to kill myself ever again. When I was a sophomore in high school all I thought about was how I could live on my own without my family and so called friends at the time or how to kill myself. Now I'm a sophomore in college and have a very positive outlook on life now. I am dead serious here. I'm not lying about any of this. That was my experience in high school. What you are going through. Now let's see:

 

"well life will get better, just wait" well not for me

 

And just how do you know that? No one can predict the future. I think I see what's happening here. You've made an effort to improve your life only to see that nothing is changing. Well you know what? Things are already changing whether or not you believe it. The mere fact that you're willing to get out of this rut means a heck of a lot. If you motivate yourself to get help and to continue to improve your life, you will prevail. You will get out of that dumb rut known as depression. Motivation for getting help is a tremendous step. Why do you think you just posted here? Because you're looking for help from other people. And we are very proud of you about that.

 

Now here's what you need to do. Talk to a counselor or anyone else who you can trust! Doesn't have to be a parent or a friend. It can be someone from your church or really anyone that knows you! If I knew you from church and you came up to me talking about wanting to kill yourself then I would be very worried. I would seek professional help for you immediately and I would also try my best to help you in the meantime. I never told my parents about how depressed I was until I got myself into some real horrible stuff. I ended up running away from home for a while and the police were out looking for me. They never caught me but I ended up going back home myself. They were dead worried. My parents didn't go to work that day and they spent all day searching for me. After I came back home I was placed in a program at a mental hospital for a few weeks.

 

Seek help now before things get worse! Your parents love you more than you think! Otherwise, they wouldn't be taking care of you every day. Also, we are here to help you with any questions you have. Please, ask anything you aren't sure about. We can point you to the right direction. And if you must, by all means talk to one of us privately (using the PM feature). PM me if you want to and we can talk. I've been through your situation.

[thisisnotanexit]

you're so much better than all these other people you're comparing yourself to. you are a very mature person, and that's rare..it's a good thing. you have a great head on your shoulders and you can go far in life. never compare yourself. killing yourself is not the right answer. i know life seem hard NOW, but if you kill yourself, you'll never really know what could happen. please stay strong, believe me, its worth it. you are not doomed and you will nto always feel this way. you just have to believe in yourself and you have to believe that things can change. just go out there and do your best. i know life can be h*ll sometimes. believe me, been there done that. but i do knwo you can get through it. it's hard, but you can do it. you're not a failure! don't worry about what other people think about you. you're a beautiful person, inside and out and you have to believe that. you won't have to be around your family for the rest of your life, you won't have to be stuck with these feelings forever, i promise. parents are hard to deal with, you're not alone in these feelings. just keep working on it and don't feel bad that your relationship with your parents isn't perfet. i know mine isn't. we all care about you so much here, and many others do too. we want to see you live! plesae, just stay strong, like the very strong person you are. you can get through this. it isn't over. you can get through this. please, don't give up now. you have too much to live for. you're such a bright, young, wonderful person. suicide isn't worth it! especially not for you. please trust me. i've been there before myself, and i know i can't completely understand what you're going through, but i want to try. i want to try and help you. i support you no matter what. i wish i was half the person you were, and had half of your strength. you are such a nice, caring person. please, don't give up. for now, just take some deep breathes. try to relax. exercise or go for a walk. watch a good movie, listen to some good music. talk so someone, anyone! a parent, friend, relative, counselor, me, someone. if you need to, call a hospital or the police. you can get through this. it's not too late. write, read, anything you can right now to get your mind off of this. because you will survive and you can be happy again. it's hard to believe right now, i know, but please trust me..i'm your friend and i wouldn't lie to you. please hang in there, and remember, i'm here if you need me. take care and please read this stuff

 

contact me ANYTIME! i'm here for you and you're certainly not alone

[kimmie61788]

i will give it one more day, and if it doesnt work then it doesnt work out. thanks for trying but i gotta do this one for me!

[thisisnotanexit]

i hope everything works out for you, but please, suicide is so not necessary. do you honestly think that for the rest of your life you will feel this way? do you realize how long a life span is? like at least into your 80s. you're a teenager. you are NOT going to feel this way forever, so don't blow your entire life away with suicide! it's crazy! you deserve to live. you have to just stay strong, you will be glad you did. don't give in, people will think they've actually won. stay strong, please..hang in there, i'm here to tell you right now that suicide would be a huge mistake. i've been there. i thought i couldn't take it anymore. luckily, though, i didn't go through with. otherwise, i wouldn't be where i am today..happy. i would be in a grave somewhere rotting. don't do it, just don't. we're all here for you, no matter what! we do care. you are such a strong, great person...and you obviously have a big heart. this life has so much in store for you, don't give up. hang in there...take care

 

please call 1-800-SUICIDE

 

 

you can do this..you're not alone, ever

[Ontario]

Not to be insensitive, but if you're tired of all the drama...why put a show on here?

 

Think about that.

 

 

While you lull that over in your head, consider this.

 

Suicide is by far the most selfish act that you can commit. You may think that no one will care, but believe me, in every case, you're freakin' wrong. Many will eb affected, no amtter how many disliked you. They'll think about how horrid they were to you, and the bad thing is, you won't be around to hear it.

 

 

Suicide is never the answer.

-V