Brokenhart84 Posted January 18, 2015 Share Posted January 18, 2015 Hey ladies and gents My ex broke up with me in December. We didn't break up on horrible terms(I will type my story soon) I stopped contacting him on January 3rd. Anyways, my birthday is next month and I can't stop pondering on the thought of him sending me a happy birthday text. Obviously, your ex is not obligated to wish you a happy birthday nor say anything on any other holiday. If your ex doesn't wish you a happy birthday after a recent breakup(2 months). Should this be an extra push for you to move forward and not think about reconciliation? It's just a thought.... Link to comment
chickadeedee Posted January 18, 2015 Share Posted January 18, 2015 You can WANT reconciliation, but the first clue that he's not interested in a romantic relationship with you is the fact that he broke up with you. And you are straining for connections by hoping for a 'sign' like him wishing you a happy birthday (or not) when frankly your mother and sister will wish you happy birthday, and other friends who know about it, so it has no special significance other than your desire to look for hints or 'signs' that he still wants you. But the clearest sign that he doesn't has already been given to you because he broke up with you. the only sign that means he wants to get back with you is when he says 'I want to get back with you.' Anything other than that is just noise and may be him wanting to be friends with you but having no romantic interest in you anymore. And it doesn't pay to stay friends with an ex because it just confuses you and draws out your healing while he uses you as a security blanket until he meets someone new he is romantically interested in. So you have one conversation with him where you tell him you are going no contact in order to heal and let go, and you only want to hear from him if he changes his mind and does want to get back together with you romantically as your BF. Then you cut him off. He has your number and if he changes his mind he can call you any minute of the day. But until he does make that call and tell you he made a mistake and wants you back, he's just not interested and you have to take him at his word that he doesn't want to be your BF anymore. Sending you a birthday card could just as easily be a sign that he wants to be your friend and no indication at all that he wants to be your BF if that is all he does. Link to comment
greta96 Posted January 18, 2015 Share Posted January 18, 2015 The sad truth is that even if he was to wish you a happy b-day, it doesn't mean in any shape or form that you should read anything into it, other than that he respects you and wanted to do a nice gesture on this occasion. Just like if he doesn't wish you happy b-day, it doesn't necessarily mean he didn't remember your b-day, it's just that he's choosing not to potentially open old wounds and cause you grief. Sometimes people just don't know what to do when it comes to milestones and their most recent exes, whether to be polite or continue with the no contact. And sometimes, they misguidedly think they are doing a nice thing by breaking the silence just to be polite, and don't realize that by breaking the silence, they are giving hope. So, the only time you can think about him wanting to reconcile is when he says "I want you back as a girlfriend". Anything less than that means nothing, and you'd be smart not to read anything into it. He chose to break up with you, so why would you want him back anyway? Link to comment
opalmind Posted January 18, 2015 Share Posted January 18, 2015 I can totally relate to this, me and my ex have been broken up for 2 months now and my birthday is next month also and I keep wondering about if he'll say Happy Birthday or not, I don't want to reconcile with my ex but after being with someone for such a long time you'd think they'd say Happy Birthday on your special day. I actually went out with him and his family for his 18th Birthday last year and we weren't even together (stupid idea I know). But I guess if they don't say Happy Birthday to us then that's just another nail in the coffin of the relationship. I guess it'll be easier to move on if they don't say it. Link to comment
ParisPaulette Posted January 18, 2015 Share Posted January 18, 2015 Simple answer, yes. It's time to let go of any expectations of any happy birthdays, merry xmases, etcetera. You need to move forward with the people who are currently with you and celebrate your birthday with them, not exes. Link to comment
DaisyHope Posted January 18, 2015 Share Posted January 18, 2015 I got a happy birthday (I ignored) and a happy Christmas (I replied,he didnt) and we're still 3 months broken up... Sadly it means nothing either way. So either way they don't 'win' and nor do we. Link to comment
Brokenhart84 Posted January 27, 2015 Author Share Posted January 27, 2015 I can totally relate to this, me and my ex have been broken up for 2 months now and my birthday is next month also and I keep wondering about if he'll say Happy Birthday or not, I don't want to reconcile with my ex but after being with someone for such a long time you'd think they'd say Happy Birthday on your special day. I actually went out with him and his family for his 18th Birthday last year and we weren't even together (stupid idea I know). But I guess if they don't say Happy Birthday to us then that's just another nail in the coffin of the relationship. I guess it'll be easier to move on if they don't say it. That's pretty much how I feel. It doesn't mean much but I think the message to me is "look, I'm moving on. I'm not thinking about you at all". It's going to hurt but I know that I'll be fine. Link to comment
Clinton Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 I was with my ex for 13 years. Got a happy birthday text 9 months after we broke up. Meant absolutely nothing. Some people just want to feel there are no lasting hard feelings. They don't want you back, they just want to clear their conscience Link to comment
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