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I [26F] broke up with a guy [32M] over a stupid reason and have major regrets

swimmergirl20

By swimmergirl20
in Dating Advice

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SometimesShy Newbie

SometimesShy

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He said that he just had it on his phone and wasn't using it. But it showed he had been active in the last hour, so either he's lying or it's the app that's lying?

 

If he had it running in the background (almost every single gay man I know has it running all the time in the background) then somebody could have contacted him without him actively looking for anybody. If I was in a steady relationship I would definitely ask my girlfriend to delete these kind of apps, because they would only lead to trouble in the long run.

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swimmergirl20 Rookie

swimmergirl20

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Apps don't lie... if it says he was active, he was active.

 

I guess, but I've heard tinder can be wrong. We'd only been dating for 2 months so it didn't seem too bad that he might still swipe through tinder. He definitely wasn't meeting up with other girls because we saw each other pretty often and he has a busy job.

 

I don't know when he's getting back, should be in a day or two and he hasn't texted me in a couple days. This was our last exchange.

 

Him: Good morning!

 

Me: Morning! Or good night?

 

Him: haha it was good night. Middle of the night here and I struggle to sleep through the night.

 

Me: oh that's not fun

 

That's all. I'm not sure if I said enough. I want to text him and tell him how much I miss him. I am missing him like crazy.

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swimmergirl20 Rookie

swimmergirl20

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I guess, but I've heard tinder can be wrong. We'd only been dating for 2 months so it didn't seem too bad that he might still swipe through tinder. He definitely wasn't meeting up with other girls because we saw each other pretty often and he has a busy job.

 

I don't know when he's getting back, should be in a day or two and he hasn't texted me in a couple days. This was our last exchange.

 

Him: Good morning!

 

Me: Morning! Or good night?

 

Him: haha it was good night. Middle of the night here and I struggle to sleep through the night.

 

Me: oh that's not fun

 

That's all. I'm not sure if I said enough. I want to text him and tell him how much I miss him. I am missing him like crazy.

 

 

I would at least like some closure. I think he’s back from his trip now and I’d like to text him to see if it’s over for good. I was very stand-offish in my texts to him this last week, so maybe he thinks i want to end it for sure. Would it hurt for me to just text him “hi! Haven’t talked to you in a while. Are you back in X city?”

 

Anyone?

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Rosti87 Contributor

Rosti87

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I would at least like some closure. I think he’s back from his trip now and I’d like to text him to see if it’s over for good. I was very stand-offish in my texts to him this last week, so maybe he thinks i want to end it for sure. Would it hurt for me to just text him “hi! Haven’t talked to you in a while. Are you back in X city?”

 

Anyone?

 

I would let it go. If he contacts you then you have your opportunity otherwise move on.

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weathergirl Rookie

weathergirl

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I would at least like some closure. I think he’s back from his trip now and I’d like to text him to see if it’s over for good. I was very stand-offish in my texts to him this last week, so maybe he thinks i want to end it for sure. Would it hurt for me to just text him “hi! Haven’t talked to you in a while. Are you back in X city?”

 

Anyone?

 

If you don't think it will make you feel worse if he doesn't respond back..then go ahead.

 

Personally, I would not. The reason? Be texting him after he is clearly ignoring you, you send him the silent message "hey, you can ignore me..no problem! I will still like you in fact I will be MORE into you if you ignore me!"

 

THAT is what he will be thinking if you text him while HE is ignoring you. Is that really the message you want him to hear?? That it's okay for him to treat you like yesterday's newspaper and you will STILL chase after him?

 

His NOT responding should tell you all you need to know. It's over...THAT is your closure.

 

Do you really need to hear him "say" it??? Why? It was a very short relationship... just move on.

 

If he contacts you down the road ... talk to him then. But not now.

 

There is only ONE reason why a guy doesn't contact a girl. He doesn't want to!

 

That's all you need to know...move on.

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catfeeder Grand Master

catfeeder

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I would at least like some closure. I think he’s back from his trip now and I’d like to text him to see if it’s over for good. I was very stand-offish in my texts to him this last week, so maybe he thinks i want to end it for sure. Would it hurt for me to just text him “hi! Haven’t talked to you in a while. Are you back in X city?”

 

Anyone?

 

For someone who's trying to NOT come off as needy, you're very hyper.

 

You said that this guy is traveling. Well, c'mOn. He knows how to reach you when it's a reasonable time for him--just let it GO.

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swimmergirl20 Rookie

swimmergirl20

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I ended up texting him, and this is how it went:

 

 

Me: Hi, are you back in town?

 

Him: Hi there! My flight leaves in an hour. How are you?

 

Me: Oh ok, have a safe trip. I’m doing well!

 

Him: Thank you! Any fun plans tonight?

 

Me: Yeah, I’m going out later with some friends to a fundraiser event for the X school

 

Him: That sounds fun. Hope you have a great time.

 

Me: Thank you.

 

Can we meet up when you get back and have caught up on sleep?

 

Him: Sure. Maybe sunday?

 

Me: Yeah, that works. I wasn’t sure if you were up for that.

 

 

 

End of texting… I’m not sure if he’s actually interested in meeting up or if I should text him again to confirm that we’re meeting up?? I’m so afraid that i’m coming accross as desperate and needy, but he seems receptive to seeing me.

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weathergirl Rookie

weathergirl

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He sounded interested (somewhat) in his text message but words don't mean a hill of beans unless they are backed up by actions.

 

His words to you were "maybe" Sunday. Ambiguous and noncommittal. If he were interested... he might have said "sounds good..how about I take you to brunch at noon"? Or something like that... more definitive... and less ambiguous and noncommittal.

 

Anyway, the ball is in HIS court. Do not text him again asking him about it. IF he is interested in getting together with you tomorrow or ever.... HE will follow up with you.

 

DON't CHASE HIM....huge mistake if you do.

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swimmergirl20 Rookie

swimmergirl20

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Well it's already saturday night and he hasn't texted to confirm or set it up. It's not looking too promising. =/ I wish he'd just say "no." I just want to move on instead of having this uncertainty. If I don't hear from him by tomorrow afternoon, would it be terrible if I texted him "hey, are you still up for meeting later today?"

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weathergirl Rookie

weathergirl

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No...

 

Do you think if he hasn't texted me by now to confirm meeting up, that it's not going to happen? I think he would've texted me by now to set it up...

 

I would make other plans swimmer..don't wait around...not cool.

 

It doesn't look good and I think you need to call it a day with this guy.

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weathergirl Rookie

weathergirl

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Well, I went ahead and texted him anyway:

 

"I hope you had a good trip back to x. Are you still interested in getting together tomorrow?"

 

So his answer will tell me everything and I can quit worrying. How insanely needy do i sound?

 

lol yeah pretty insanely needy...but at least you can admit to it anyway....

 

Not sure why you think acting needy and chasing him would draw him closer to you and cause him to want to get back with you....it won't. It's a turn off but too late now what's done is done.

 

Good luck and let us know how he responds! If he responds!

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Rosti87 Contributor

Rosti87

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Ok, how does it sound? Does it sound like he's interested? I mean why would he say he was up for meeting if he wasn't? If he wanted to end it, would he have let me know that??

 

His responses sound pretty 'canned' to me. It sounds polite. The proof is in in his action not his words. If he is truly interested he will follow up for Sunday to confirm or at least let you know his availibility or lack thereof.

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Rosti87 Contributor

Rosti87

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well it's already saturday night and he hasn't texted to confirm or set it up. It's not looking too promising. =/ i wish he'd just say "no." i just want to move on instead of having this uncertainty. If i don't hear from him by tomorrow afternoon, would it be terrible if i texted him "hey, are you still up for meeting later today?"

 

don't do it.

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