Stood up... 2nd chance or not? How to read her mind

[Malisinunderla]

No no, don't be! It is always best to be guarder. A girl who is really interested for the right reasons will pursue through that guard. Maybe that is just be talking.Wow 20 years is a long time. I think a good time out would be a good idea.

[csdude55]

Well, therein lies the rub. I'm self employed, pretty unique for my demographic, and in a fairly rural area, so I have a very, very small group of friends and peers. I've told 4 people about my break up, and 2 of them wanted to go out with me (maybe 3, depending on how you see the other thread where I was asking if someone was in to me). I'm guessing that they had a thing for me all along, and see this as their chance to make a move.

 

It's not like I'm pursuing them, it's more like they're approaching me.

 

I'm all for time alone, but that means pushing away gorgeous girls that I already have an emotional connection with. That's probably going to hurt their feelings (thinking that I'm just coming up with an excuse to turn them down), potentially losing a great friend and a potentially great relationship.

[csdude55]

FYI, there's an update to this girl's story. Just a few hours ago, we had this conversation (note that she started the conversation):

 

Her: Hey

 

Me: What are you up to? Did you have a good day?

 

Her: No

 

Me: No? Why, what happened??

 

Her: H r u

Nothing How r u

 

Me: I'm OK, just been working in my office all day. I don't want to push you, but for real, if you had a bad day then feel free to talk about it. God knows I tell you all my problems!

 

Her: I khow thank u for ur trust

Well I feel depressed

Maybe is bcoz I haven't take my pills

 

Me: Is anything going on, or is it just one of those days where you don't feel happy? If there's no reason to be depressed, then you're right, it could just be the pills

 

Her: Its bcoz I haven't take my pills

 

I didn't push the conversation any further, but based on this, I'm guessing that there's an issue with clinical depression of some sort.

 

I went back and looked at our previous conversations, and now that I'm looking I can see a clear pattern that she's always depressed on weekends, and happiest on Tuesday and Wednesday. That explains why she asked me on a date on Thursday, was flirty on Friday, but then cold and uninterested on Saturday and Sunday.

 

I don't know if that justifies her standing me up with no excuse, but it certainly explains it. It's entirely possible, even likely, that she really was physically ill from the medication, and really too depressed to say anything to me.

[weathergirl]

...but apparently NOT too depressed to post on facebook.

 

Dude sorry but you are being played here. And you come accross as way too needy...

 

She blew you off...why are you even talking to her? Let alone showing all this concern for her?

 

You sound like a nice guy but save it for people who deserve it...not for people who blow you off, ignore you, disrespect you and use you as their emotional garbage can....

 

You come accross as a pushover, needy and desperate....which no woman finds endearing trust me on that one.

 

And she sounds like an attention wh*re who is using you...cause godonlyknows you sure do give her a lot of attention! Even after she blows you off...you are still giving her all this attention.!

 

What happened to your self respect? Your pride? You need to get it back, otherwise you will find yourself being used the same way this one is doing. Different face, same scenario.

[notalady]

Geez that's a bit harsh.

 

I will agree on one thing though, you showed way too much concern and kindness to someone who did not show you any respect or decency. You need to have boundaries and treat people the way they deserve to be treated (in this case, she deserves to be ignored.)

[csdude55]

I will agree on one thing though, you showed way too much concern and kindness to someone who did not show you any respect or decency. You need to have boundaries and treat people the way they deserve to be treated (in this case, she deserves to be ignored.)

 

Well, just for the record, she and I had been talking as friends for awhile, so we were already a bit connected. And we have a lot of mutual friends, so I see no reason to be mean and hold a grudge. Just because she got my hopes up and was inconsiderate doesn't mean that we can't be friends, it just means that I'm not trusting her with my emotions now.