I'm losing it, too much stress, PLEASE HELP

[Lazaro271183]

Hi everyone... This is such a long and confusing story, I'll try to make it as short as possible...

 

I'm Portuguese and I moved to Madrid recently, hoping to become an English teacher, no luck... (I was hired by one school but lost that job...) I refused to give up, kept looking, and now I'm in a customer service position, the first survival job I could find... I HATE IT... I've never been good at dealing with that kind of pace and I'm terrified that I might lose my job, even if everybody says it's "normal" that it's so hard in the beginning... (Normal? Since when is working at this pace normal? This is mental.)

 

Too many people back home are counting on me... I don't want to disappoint my family or my girlfriend... I'm just trying not to let anybody see just how scared I am but I can't keep it up much longer. I'm falling apart. I miss them too much and whether I'm going to see my girlfriend anytime soon depends on whether I have a job or not. She's just as scared as I am at the idea of coming to Spain and competing in this messed-up labor market, but I did it because I really didn't have a choice. Wages back home are unacceptable. if I can't make it, she'll be too scared to join me...

 

Please, does anybody have suggestions or advice on how to deal with work stress? I'm way too sentitive, I don't react well to criticism, I can't handle a fast-paced environment, I HATE taking those stupid calls... I know I shouldn't even be in this job, all the red flags are there but I just have to hold on somehow, I don't have a choice. How can I develop stress resistance and stop being so negative and just learn to handle this like everybody else did?

 

Thanks for your support...

[happyfrank]

Take jobs tutoring. People always need help. It can be second incoming coming in. First things first. Take care of yourself first. Workout to kill the stress.

 

I been working call center for 10 years. Just take it one call at a time. When you have free time. Keep looking for another job. .

[SEDA]

Perhaps start focusing on the benefits that this job is bringing you. And in your spare time, have a look for other jobs which you may find interesting. If you have the time, go and interview for these. I think you need to constantly be thinking about the future to keep a more positive mental attitude. If you can try and talk to your girlfriend and family about some of the stress that you've been under, it may help. Also, I find that keeping a diary, or a completely private blog that only you can see helps. Getting all your thoughts and feelings out anonymously, where you can really really talk about how you feel can really help, and it can help to look over the entries once in a while; you might find that the times you write an entry become less frequent, and that can have a positive impact on your mindset.

[Lazaro271183]

Hi, thank you so much for taking the time to answer...

 

Take jobs tutoring.

 

Sorry, my English is pretty good but sometimes I do stumble on some terms... What's jobs tutoring? Is it a vocational test to find out what kind of job you're really good for?

 

It can be second incoming coming in.

 

Same problem here, sorry... I barely slept tonight and can't think so well right now.

 

Workout to kill the stress.

 

It's so hard to find the energy for that... but it's good advice and I'll try.

 

Just take it one call at a time.

 

I can't. It's not a call center, it's even worse. You have to deal with several different cases all at the same time.

 

Keep looking for another job.

 

I guess I'll have to... It's a shame, because I do like the people than I'm working with. They're very understanding and helpful. It's the job itself that sucks... At the end of the day, I didn't come here to do this, I might as well be back home doing it. I came here to teach English.

[Lazaro271183]

Hi, thank you for your answer, I really appreciate it.

 

Perhaps start focusing on the benefits that this job is bringing you.

 

Well, it is certainly bringing me some benefits. I'll try to calm down and just keep going, one day at a time...

 

And in your spare time, have a look for other jobs which you may find interesting.

 

Already two people have suggested this here, plus several others offline. It's probably the wisest thing to do, although I dislike telling people I'm leaving... But I do have to make myself the highest priority. I'm really starting to see that.

 

I think you need to constantly be thinking about the future to keep a more positive mental attitude.

 

True... but the future depends a lot on what's happening right now. The mood here is so stressful, everybody's worried about the way the economy is going and they fear for their jobs... It makes it very hard to focus on the future, which feels like a tiny light at the end of a long tunnel...

 

If you can try and talk to your girlfriend

 

Normally yes. But she's not Portuguese and she's been through the exact same thing in my country. Months and months of nasty jobs - or no job at all! And now it's my turn. Talking about this is not going to help her feel any safer, on the contrary. That's one of the reasons why I perceive my situation as so hopelessly complicated... I'm starting to think coming to Spain has been an incredible mistake, although it seemed like "a good plan at the time". Puny excuse, I know...

 

and family about some of the stress that you've been under, it may help.

 

They adore me, but their responses so far have tended to be a bit too negative.

 

Also, I find that keeping a diary, or a completely private blog that only you can see helps. Getting all your thoughts and feelings out anonymously, where you can really really talk about how you feel can really help, and it can help to look over the entries once in a while; you might find that the times you write an entry become less frequent, and that can have a positive impact on your mindset.

 

Now there's something I've never really tried. I do write fiction in my free time, hoping to get published some day... (It kind of feels like a challenge to get published internationally, too, but it's my dream...) But I might try that too. Thanks...

[Lazaro271183]

The replies so far have been encouraging... If anybody has any more ideas, I'd be glad to hear them.

 

Do you think it would be OK to talk openly to my temporary work agent about this? Or would that be really stupid?

[Hell_On_Heels]

Please, does anybody have suggestions or advice on how to deal with work stress? I'm way too sentitive, I don't react well to criticism, I can't handle a fast-paced environment, I HATE taking those stupid calls... I know I shouldn't even be in this job, all the red flags are there but I just have to hold on somehow, I don't have a choice. How can I develop stress resistance and stop being so negative and just learn to handle this like everybody else did?

 

Thanks for your support...

 

Some of these things will need to be dealt with no matter where you work. Develop a work persona. It's a different facet of yourself. Look at it as putting on a business suit for work, and putting on your business personality, too.

 

When you're feeling sensitive, remind yourself this is business. It's not personal. The goal is to make a profit and keep jobs secure. Your part in that is to retain customers. You won't always make them happy because sometimes people are just mad no matter what you do. But usually, people respond well once they know you want to help them. If your customers are angry, the first thing to do is acknowledge that their situation is upsetting. You can say things like, "That is very frustrating, I can see why you're upset. Let's see what we can do together to fix this for you."

 

If your customers are not upset, then it's much easier. Just focus on them, make it pleasant to interact, and do what you can to make sure they keep coming back to your company.

 

Your customers see you as the company itself. They don't see you as a person. Adopt that same approach while you're at work. It's not about you. It's business.

 

On criticism, it's a little trickier. If the comments help you do better next time, then be smart and use the advice in the future. If you were wrong, own it. "Yes, I see my mistake now. I apologize, and will do it your way going forwards." If you show resistance to a manager's input (criticism), you will be labeled as difficult. If you are willing to admit mistakes, learn, and improve your skills, most managers will love you and do what they can for your future.

 

If things are fast-paced, the input might seem harsh. You need to ask yourself if they are being cruel, or direct? If they walk by, and say, "Answer that phone!" then that is direct. Your reply should be, "I'm on it!" or "Got it!" Simply let them know you'll take care of it - and then take care of it. This makes you dependable, reliable.

 

If they walk by and say, "You stupid mule, why isn't this handled?" - that's cruel. If you have that kind of environment, you have the option to stand up for yourself, in a professional manner. More on that if you tell us that's what you're dealing with.

 

About the fast pace. To do well, you need to know your company - policies, rules, methods, products, internal contacts. This takes time, but it also takes actively pursuing this knowledge...ask experienced employees about specific situations on your lunch hour, etc. Knowing what to do with everything that crosses your desk will save you a lot of time.

 

The next part is to organize. What tasks can be saved up and done all at once? For example, can you file before lunch and again at the end of the day instead of doing it all day? Can you make 3 phone calls in a row rather than sporadically throughout your day? What can you do to tame and control your desk? Again, experienced employees might be a good resource for you.

 

These are my thoughts on work stress.