romantic sweetheart Posted January 12, 2005 Share Posted January 12, 2005 Why is it that I am drawn to deep, intense, passionate people, but end up always finding out they just want a physical connection, nothing else? I am a very romantic, intense, passionate person, but I want love, connection, soulmates...the grandiose feelings of love, longing....deep, deep eyes, sweet kisses, talking until all hours of the night.......music..Depeche Mode.....dark rooms, soft voices..... But sweetness, honesty.....Oh, the lost-and longing feeling of love...dreamy-drugged state, intermingled bliss......Uncontrollable laughter and uncontrollable kisses..... I can't have ordinary...but the extraordinary always crushes my heart... Can anyone tell me.....Do men exist who are deep, full of life and an aching to love and be loved.....to be known and to be seen...felt, heard...tasted.....AND who want truth and beauty? Who believe that there is more to a connection than just the physical? Who want it all...emotional, spiritual, intellectual, and the sweet ecstasy of passion?? Is this real? Or do I have to be hurt to feel intensely? Do I have to settle for bland to be in a safe love? Isn't there ayone who is comfort and passion? Isn't there a mix of terror and calm? Thrilling love and love that is like coming home? Can the two exist in one, and be sweet and right? Can anyone tell me??? Link to comment
usied Posted January 12, 2005 Share Posted January 12, 2005 yea...well i think that they are out there, good luck finding them though. i always get hurt too and long for something i don't think exsists either.. and it seems like a worthless search, for ''passionate, undying love'' ...but you just have to take one day at a time..and one day what you are looking for will most likely fall into your lap ..the waiting part sucks ALOT though. always have hope...just don't make it so apparent ..and don't worry so much about things...make the right choices and you will get what you long for Link to comment
Kyoshiro Ogari Posted January 12, 2005 Share Posted January 12, 2005 Not to advertise myself, but I am a lot like what you described. I am searching for that same thing in a woman and I want to express those feelings and emotions to her tenfold. Will I find her? I don't know. I'll have to first get the courage to meet women, then I must get to know their soul and hopefully... yatzee! Those men are out there for you, but finding them seems tricky. I wish I can tell you how or where these guys are, but I'm looking for women like them myself. But don't give up. They are out there somewhere. And if you find them, ask them if they have a sister for good 'ol Kyoshiro. Link to comment
idontgetit Posted January 12, 2005 Share Posted January 12, 2005 absolutely!! but they aren't in the usual places you'd expect to find them. Link to comment
shuntaro603 Posted January 12, 2005 Share Posted January 12, 2005 YES. Of course. They are very hard to find. Link to comment
idontgetit Posted January 12, 2005 Share Posted January 12, 2005 no, i don't think they're hard to find... you just have to know what to look for. they usually won't be the drunk fool on the bar in a club...ya know? Link to comment
Yorkrose23 Posted January 12, 2005 Share Posted January 12, 2005 They are out there, just keep looking.... he may show up when you least expect it. Link to comment
ShySoul Posted January 13, 2005 Share Posted January 13, 2005 Do you go for younger guys, cause I'm your man. Seriously, they do exisit. I want everything you said and know how frustrating it can get when you realize that there isn't many of those people around. But they are out there. They are rare and special. Which makes it all the more magical and memorable when you do finally find the one you've been waiting for. When two people like that meet, it won't matter what they have been through or how much loneliness they have felt. The love will be worth the wait. Have faith and keep dreaming. It'll happen when you least expect. Link to comment
Balthamos Posted January 13, 2005 Share Posted January 13, 2005 I think that I fit that descprtion pretty well, so yes we do exists, we're just a little hard to find sometimes. I'm not sure if this applies to all guys llike this, but I know I'm pretty shy so it's hard for me to approach women. Also, does anyone know where to find women like this? Link to comment
justagirl20f Posted January 13, 2005 Share Posted January 13, 2005 Can't say I've ever searched for men with the "dark side" you seem to crave, because I've never been into the whole gothic thing. I don't know if what you seek is HARDER to find in your world than it might be in mine? I have the whole sweet sensual side of what you want in my BF, but you wouldn't want him because he doesn't share your interests. I guess it comes down to is your lifestyle (rather those involved in it) going to tend to go against the sensual loving thing you're looking for? I don't know much about what it means to be gothic, but I have to say the gothic people I've met didn't seem soulful and loving as much as disturbed and lost. That said, it certainly can't be impossible to find what you want. Just difficult. After all, you exist, right? So it's reasonable to assume that in this world at least one other person like you exists. Keep going, and don't settle. That's the best advice I can offer; REFUSE to settle. Take care! Link to comment
Mermaid Posted January 18, 2005 Share Posted January 18, 2005 Can anyone tell me.....Do men exist who are deep, full of life and an aching to love and be loved.....to be known and to be seen...felt, heard...tasted.....AND who want truth and beauty? Who believe that there is more to a connection than just the physical? Who want it all...emotional, spiritual, intellectual, and the sweet ecstasy of passion?? Is this real? Or do I have to be hurt to feel intensely? Do I have to settle for bland to be in a safe love? Isn't there ayone who is comfort and passion? Isn't there a mix of terror and calm? Thrilling love and love that is like coming home? Can the two exist in one, and be sweet and right? Can anyone tell me??? Yes, there is. I have that in my boyfriend. He's full of passion, sexy to a fault and able to make me laugh like no one else--but he's also gentle and affectionate, nurturing and protective, intelligent and creative, and full of enormous depth. He brings me joy and contentment to my very core. Link to comment
romantic sweetheart Posted January 18, 2005 Author Share Posted January 18, 2005 Thank you for all your responses. I so deeply needed to hear these affirmations. And mermaid, thank you....I can see that your boyfriend is all of the things of which I spoke. Hold on to him...and thank you for giving me hope. Bless you all. Link to comment
Mermaid Posted January 19, 2005 Share Posted January 19, 2005 You're welcome. If you ever need bolstering, PM me. I know exactly how you're feeling because I felt all of those things before I met him. And now I not only have it for myself, but can validate for others that men like him and connections like ours can, in fact, be found. But they're rare and they're precious, to be sure. Still, you'll find it... just don't give up, and expect the unexpected. Link to comment
sparkey Posted February 1, 2005 Share Posted February 1, 2005 To find someone that is passionate and exciting physically yet loves on an emotional caring level, what do you look for first ? Reason I ask is that not all, but many men that want it all, are somewhat introspective and have a low key demeanor in public. Speaking for myself, I want to get to know a woman and I have to be able to really truly trust her. As that trust builds and the love and intimacy builds, the passionate part of me starts to open up. I believe from experience that relationships that start out on fire, burn out just as quickly when the need for more than just lust and excitement builds. THose that start slow, and build are the better, more fulfilling ones. Before your intimate, observe the person you are getting to know. Are they compassioante to others ? Are they explorative (I.e. checking out a new palce that they have never been too?) Can they laugh at themselves ? These are all clues as to what the future could hold. It takes alot to love someone and even more to let someone love you back. If you wait to explore the passion after you have built a foundation of love is when you discover you have both! Don't worry, you will find that if you really look and have patience to find it. Link to comment
Mermaid Posted February 3, 2005 Share Posted February 3, 2005 The best way to find a relationship in which you connect on all levels is to let romance blossom from friendship... Link to comment
fantasia2004 Posted February 12, 2005 Share Posted February 12, 2005 I believe that all those things you stated and listed in your title post exist just not in that very order. Link to comment
strippyshirtman Posted February 20, 2005 Share Posted February 20, 2005 Montelesa says: "I agree with you---the passionate, intense ones seem to just want something physical and the ones who want relationships have very little passion. " that is simply not true. i am passionate and intense (probably too intense), yet i also long so a meaningful expansive relationship. sure, often the ones who want a relationship tend to be more introverted (quieter, not so outgoing; certainly not so arrogant), but this does not make them less passionate and intense. quite the opposite. they are the ones who want to direct their energies toward to that special person (you); passions that have build up waiting for special person to love and be loved. it's not always "romantic". life never is. but it can have momnets of excitement and passion and intensity. and they're likely to remember lots of little things about you, things you love. it's likely that there's a degree of physicality. there ususally are in most relationships but the physical is a relection of a the relationship you (plural) will already have. they're not likely to leave you the next morning either. they want you as much as you want them, but they might not push it; letting you decide, not feeling confortable "forcing" the issue. Link to comment
Derek Posted February 23, 2005 Share Posted February 23, 2005 I found the first post very interesting. Makes me think of the "Bad Boy" versus "Nice Guy" dichotomy. She wants both in one package. I would think it is easier to coach a fundamentally Nice Guy to have some Bad Boy traits, than it is to change a fundamentally "Bad Boy" into a Nice Guy. Alot of Nice Guy's probably would find a "Bad Girl" that opens up their passionate side exciting. I like that idea of thrilling love vs comfort love. Comfort vs passion. Mix of terror and calm. I tend to fundamentally be a nice guy with some "bad boy" tendencies. I can't even fathom causing "terror" to the women I love. I honestly don't know how to do that. =) But I'm certainly not a doormat either and I have strong opinions about lots of things =) romantic said: Can anyone tell me.....Do men exist who are deep, full of life and an aching to love and be loved.....to be known and to be seen...felt, heard...tasted.....AND who want truth and beauty? Who believe that there is more to a connection than just the physical? Who want it all...emotional, spiritual, intellectual, and the sweet ecstasy of passion?? Is this real? Or do I have to be hurt to feel intensely? Do I have to settle for bland to be in a safe love? Isn't there ayone who is comfort and passion? Isn't there a mix of terror and calm? Thrilling love and love that is like coming home? Can the two exist in one, and be sweet and right? Can passion be learned? Some of this is about the differences between guys and girls. Girls seem to have a more natural tendency to passion. Society tells guys to be strong silent types and some guys interprete that as "stone cold". Strong doesn't mean emotionless in my books. Silent can mean speaking efficiently, quietly, carefully but directly rather than not talking at all. Also, I bet the guys she goes out with are giving her what she wants (passion) to get what they want (physical) and they aren't being honest with her or themselves. She would filter those guys out right away if she decided to limit the physical stuff right off the bat. I liked the way the original writer expressed themselves. I know there are guys out there that could fulfill the wishes she has put down from her heart. Guys have to have the guts to take her on. Link to comment
volution Posted February 24, 2005 Share Posted February 24, 2005 You're looking for total fulfilment, in mind body and soul. You're ready to merge with someone in a relationship - but very few men are open enough (heart/spiritual awareness), or ready enough (mature) to embark on such a relationship. I don't wish to sound pessimisitic (I used to be the King of Optimisim but the last few years I became the King of Pessimisim! ) - but I believe women outnumber men 10:1 at least, when you're talking this kind of level of merging. What you have described, is true love - in it's highest forms of expression. Soul-gazing, the feeling of homecoming (spiritual peace), almost dying because you need to give your love to someone but you can't - the meaning of life is to love and to be loved. But not to love someone because you need them, but to NEED them BECAUSE you want to love them. I feel exacting resonance with all you have said - I'm almost dying from depression because I don't have a woman to give this all to. I need to - it's my raison d'etre. Yes, I've thought about settling for a mundane relationship, but I just cannot do it. I know that I will end up giving all of myself to them, even if they aren't a very good match. It's just the way I am - I have no other mode of loving. Everytime I have ever fallen in love, I feel everytime, they're my soulmate or twin flame. LOL - Depeche Mode - I like them, a kind of sub-Pet Shop Boys. Couldn't listen to them while making love though! BTW - have you ever tried Tantra or Kundalini? Link to comment
ShySoul Posted February 24, 2005 Share Posted February 24, 2005 I believe women outnumber men 10:1 at least, when you're talking this kind of level of merging. If women outnumber men in this regard, shouldn't it be easier for the few men who want that kind of merging to find a female who wants it as well? So how come it's so difficult? Or is it that so few people, either male or female, are ready for that kind of relationship? Link to comment
volution Posted February 24, 2005 Share Posted February 24, 2005 I thought it would be easy... But it most certainly isn't. I agree with you on your last statement - although there are more women than men ready for this kind of relationship, there still aren't that many women. I guess maybe 1 in 100 or less are ready for this kind of relationship. So there will be great trouble finding them, especially if you're shy. A lot of the time, they won't use normal dating channels, so this makes it even harder. Other than screaming from the rooftops, I can't see much other choice than just letting fate and destiny bring me to a woman like this. It hurts like hell, though, having to rely on such poor chance. I believe women outnumber men 10:1 at least, when you're talking this kind of level of merging. If women outnumber men in this regard, shouldn't it be easier for the few men who want that kind of merging to find a female who wants it as well? So how come it's so difficult? Or is it that so few people, either male or female, are ready for that kind of relationship? Link to comment
Derek Posted February 24, 2005 Share Posted February 24, 2005 Thinking about this kind of passionate love some more... Maybe guys need to think about romantic love is a "warrior" context and they might be more into it. The first poster made me want to "fight" for her heart. I imagined being the warrior that fights through the mundane stuff of life and reaches a woman's soul in ways that she described. It made me want to provide for her the means to reach those places and enjoy it together. Pondering... Link to comment
volution Posted February 24, 2005 Share Posted February 24, 2005 LOL - I used to archetype myself as a kind of Knight who would fight the 'Unworthy' (men who treated women badly), and 'rescue' a fair maiden from their clutches, and give her what she truly deserved. I believe the 'rescuing' role is a common thing that men act out. Thinking about this kind of passionate love some more... Maybe guys need to think about romantic love is a "warrior" context and they might be more into it. The first poster made me want to "fight" for her heart. I imagined being the warrior that fights through the mundane stuff of life and reaches a woman's soul in ways that she described. It made me want to provide for her the means to reach those places and enjoy it together. Pondering... Link to comment
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