Shallow Honesty or Grain of Truth?

[twizod]

A friend of a friend offered to hook me up with a friend of hers. I have done blind dates before and within 10 seconds I know whether I am attracted to this person. However, the one caveat is I am very picky whether that's good or bad. To the point: Last blind date I didn't like the picture but did it regardless to be nice to last friend. This friend I declined nicely b/c although she was cute I just didn't see anything attractive to me. My question for male perspective: Does a picture hold that much importance to you before a date?

[Day_Walker]

A picture can only deteremine if you are physically attracted to the person. Obviously if thats all you have to go on then you can make your judgement from there. It just depends on how much importance you place on attractiveness.

[caramellabacix]

Most people don't look as great in pictures as they do in real life... are you prepared to lose the chance of meeting a person who potentially has a great personality? You said she was cute, perhaps even moreso in person. Not everyone in the world can be photogenic. Though if that's what they're getting judged on instead of their personality, than they're not suffering much of a loss by not being able to go on a date with you. No offense.

[RayKay]

Well...appearance is important to some degree for me but it is not the only thing I go by. If in the picture they seem cute/attractive enough then I go for it..because in person they may be gorgeous/radiant. Attraction increases (or decreases) once you can associate a personality to the picture.

 

I have dated guys of many "looks" and I can tell you that someone gets more beautiful as you get to know them....my best and longest relationships have been with more "average" appearanced guys but who were gorgeous to me, and I have turned away guys who look like they could be models as their personalities made them less attractive, or the click was not there.

 

Oh, and some people just don't look as great in pics as they do in real life! I would say you should of just gone for it, you could of made a friend, or found that your interest was peaked once you met her even more.

[ShySoul]

Agreed, some people don't photograph well. Plus, pictures only show someone's physical appearance. There are alot more important things to consider: personality, common interests, humor, intelligence, how nice they treat you, etc. These things can't be determined by a picture or in 10 seconds. I think you should give people more of a chance. Otherwise, that is on the shallow side. Also, the more you get to know someone, the more physically attractive they can become. Something to think about.

[SkyFire]

Do not expect anything, and have fun.

[Kyoshiro Ogari]

A picture tells nothing. I have seen women who look bad in pictures and are absolutely stunning when I meet them. Honestly, you will really be foolish if you are judging a person based on their looks on a photo. A person's personality makes them more physically attractive anyway, so just go on the dates, have fun and see where it leads.

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[twizod]

Call me shallow call me picky but I couldn't do it. If I am not physically attracted to a girl by looking at her face then I don't care if her personality is perfect. I HAVE to be turned on by her physical appearance then sense of humor then personality. My friends never understood this so you guys aren't alone in thinking I am weird. But, this is me. Before my current EX I went two years single. I cannot compromise and can only be honest. I have to love her outside and inside together even at the sacrifice of only two g/f's my entire life.

[ShySoul]

While I like the honesty and desire to stick to your belief, you may seriously want to reconsider it. Going for physical appearance first will make things very difficult for you and you will miss out on lots of great opportunities and wonderful girls that could be perfect for you. Inner beauty is more important and when you see that side of them, you will find them beautiful on the outside as well. It's your choice, I'm just warning you that you are making things more difficult on yourself then they have to be.

[HajiMaji]

Just remember everyone is ugly when they are old. You gotta learn to tap into the beauty of someones personality cause that is the one thing in like that gets more amazing with age. People get fatter and wrinklier and then start to dress funny.

 

Appearance is small to me, well forget that. With me its like if i find a girls personality attractive i immediately find thier body and face and everything attractive. I dunno man, for me at least feeling that deep attraction physically is spawned by a beautiful personality.

[ShySoul]

HajiMaji,

 

Your right, deep attraction physically is spawned by a beautiful personality. But be careful what you say about the elderly. Don't forget, you'll be one yourself one day. 8)

[wlfpack81]

I feel you twizod.

 

Looks aren't everything but there has to be some sort of initial physical attraction to get the ball rolling. I mean unless you can read minds do you honestly think when people spot someone in the club, bar, church, class, or whatever public setting it is that the say..

 

"Hey I can read that guys/girls mind and tell he/she is nice, smart, likes long walks on the beach like me etc. etc.."

 

Heck no!!! When spotting someone you DON'T KNOW AT ALL the 1st thing that's going to draw you to make the 1st move is appearance (physical as well as dress, grooming etc.). More people don't want to say this b/c they don't want to seem shallow but nearly everyone on this planet is shallow. Maybe b/c I'm ugly myself I can call things like it is since I realize I don't get a lot of looks from women b/c of my looks. Wish you others would "wake up" and realize the reality of attraction and the role it plays in dating.

 

Now there are those who really don't care at all about looks but in most cases where you dealing w/2 people who don't know each other (again such as meeting in a public setting) it's looks that's going to decide whether anything gets started at all.