How do I FULLY let go

[teeeg28]

It been 5 months since my break up and the past two months I have been doing well but I feel I am falling into a relapse. I believe I have not fully let go of her yet and in the back of my head I am hoping she will come back. How do I accomplish "letting go" ? How do I know if I am doing it right? Help!

[redsox22]

Agh....I'm going through the same thing. We've been on and off for months. He is seeing someone else and still dragging me along. I wish he would just tell me to go away because I don't seem to be strong enough to do it on my own. I know I need to go and stop holding out hope. It's killing me.

Everyone says go NC. Have you tried that? I keep caving.

I feel your pain. I'm sorry,

[teeeg28]

Ive been no contact for a while now, nearly 2 months but I still feel I am holding myself back from moving on

[SooSad33]

It just takes time, Tee.

 

How long together? It took me about 9+ months to get over a 5 yr relation. It was awful

And a 6 mos one about 3 months.

 

Best is NC and keep trying to convince your mind that you will be okay again and don't keep your ex on a pedastal.

 

Everything takes time.. to accept.. to heal and move on again.

In time it WILL ease off.

[obSCEne]

I myself have been struggling for almost 7 months now to get over a breakup of a 5+ year relationship. The biggest thing I've found I have struggled with in terms of letting go has been holding onto hope that she'll come back, and thus not fully accepting that it is really done and over with. Hearing the news that she is now moving in with her current boyfriend, it forced me to confront the fact that she really is never coming back. If I had taken hold of my mind much sooner and convinced myself that it was completely over, it would have helped immensely. Hindsight, as they say, is 20/20

 

If you ever feel like the other person is stringing you along/holding you at arms length but not quite letting go completely, in my opinion, walk away. You don't ever want to be someone's plan B, as a human being with thoughts and feelings you deserve better than being someone's silver medal or backup plan.

[No1]

Teeeg...this is how I see it.

You are not progressing or moving forward because you have not believed that it is over. Sure you can tell me that its over but c'mon, who you kidding, you want her to come back to you and this is the root of the problem. You are not moving because you are afraid if you let go, if you say that its over and you begin to move forward your X will never find you again. Or maybe if you find someone else that would seal the door for her return. So you are kind of dragging along and hoping that your X comes back.

Im going to say this is in the nicest way.... Its over..... come on you can say it.. just admit that it is over and she is not coming back. I know loss blows and I get you, but just letting go of the relationship can make you feel better. You dont have to look at your phone 56 times a day or worry if she called or texts or look at her FB to see what she is up to or if she has found a new guy... and speaking of which, she is going to find a new guy sooner than later so just accept that its done. Then you do the things needed to move forward.

[teeeg28]

You are right. I do truly believe this is all going to blow over even though I have been trying to train my brain to think other wise. I guess I still haven't wrapped my head around it fully like I thought.

[teeeg28]

It just takes time, Tee.

 

How long together? It took me about 9+ months to get over a 5 yr relation. It was awful

And a 6 mos one about 3 months.

 

Best is NC and keep trying to convince your mind that you will be okay again and don't keep your ex on a pedastal.

 

Everything takes time.. to accept.. to heal and move on again.

In time it WILL ease off.

 

we were together for 4 and a half years. I have been doing well with NC but lately I have been trying to justify to myself why I should reach out to her now... and my reason solely being just because I miss her so much. I just want to call her and ask to meet up and give her a hug.

[teeeg28]

The thing is, I don't feel like she is stringing me along because it seems as if she could care any less of me now. Im still so devastated how she acts like nothing ever happened. She even changed her Insta bio to "content with life" months after the BU and obviously it hurt me and she claims its some inside joke with her friends. She tells me I don't know what she is like when no one is with her and claims to be hurting somewhat but I don't buy it.

[JDMxTeGrA101]

we were together for 4 and a half years. I have been doing well with NC but lately I have been trying to justify to myself why I should reach out to her now... and my reason solely being just because I miss her so much. I just want to call her and ask to meet up and give her a hug.

 

 

 

Please don't do this. I met up with mine 3 weeks ago and we started seeing each other again but things aren't the same anymore. Going to be harder than the breakup

[teeeg28]

Please don't do this. I met up with mine 3 weeks ago and we started seeing each other again but things aren't the same anymore. Going to be harder than the breakup

 

You're probably right

[No1]

No one said break ups are easy, if they were this site would not exsist, but it does and people have had their hearts broken for thousands of years. Songs, poems, movies, plays, operas, stories, novels, philosophy and probably cave paintings have had heart break dedicated to them. So the advise you are given is much easier said than done, however it has to be done.

There is nothing to "train your brain" over. All that means is that you are trying to trick your brain that its over but in your heart you believe its not. Im sorry my friend that is not going to work. Your heart has to know it is over. No stringing along, no need to follow her on FB or any social media, nothing to decode, decypher, nothing to think and over think about.. dude.. its over.. accept that it is and when you do you will see that there will be a huge weight lifted from you knowing she is not coming back and then you can move on. Until that day happens, all you are doing is spinning your wheels and letting life pass you by.