gross.

[Tanzi]

Woah people. Calm down. I didn't yell at him or nag. I simply told him what happened the night before because he didn't remember, and he offered up an apology all on his own. I just keep remembering seeing him watch and I don't like the feeling, is all.

 

Well you admitted to being jealous in your original post. No doubt he picked up these vibes too when you were relaying the story. If he hadn't he would have just laughed the story off WITH you in a "No way!! Did they really?" kind of way. Instead he apologised for having looked at them for 60 or so seconds! I just think you need to be careful because having to make these type of apologies becomes tiresome after a while.

[oitnb]

My boyfriend and I have gotten into ONE argument where I was upset our whole relationship. I don't know what about my post is giving off a controlling vibe, but I'm not like that. At all. In fact that apology was probably the second one he's ever have to give me in over a year.

 

Sorry I felt a little jealous, naturally, when I saw him gawking at two girls making out. I didn't yell, argue, start a fight or anything and I didn't even mention it until the next day when HE ASKED me what the heck happened last night, because he could hardly remember.

 

If you're telling me no one ever can feel feeling of jealousy in a healthy relationship, even slight ones like I felt, you're delusional.

[chamachama]

But all he was doing was "looking" at what every one else in the room was lol. If he apologized for "looking" at something like that (which was out in the open for everyone to see), then you should really question whether or not he's got a backbone at all. Your reaction to his apology should have been "OMG! nooooo silly! Don't apologize for being human!! Sheesh! No apology necessary AT ALL." Anything else and you should be feeling like a controller.

 

Sorry, you shouldn't have even mentioned that silly stuff in the first place. I would have basically had an "eyebrow raise" moment and walked away shaking my head in a confused "wth" type way if you brought something like that to my attention. Actually, I'll bet he had that exact moment internally, yet apologized anyway....for whatever reason that could be.

[oitnb]

K thanks for knowing more about my own boyfriend then I do

[Natasha24]

But all he was doing was "looking" at what every one else in the room was lol. If he apologized for "looking" at something like that (which was out in the open for everyone to see), then you should really question whether or not he's got a backbone at all. Your reaction to his apology should have been "OMG! nooooo silly! Don't apologize for being human!! Sheesh! No apology necessary AT ALL." Anything else and you should be feeling like a controller.

 

Sorry, you shouldn't have even mentioned that silly stuff in the first place. I would have basically had an "eyebrow raise" moment and walked away shaking my head in a confused "wth" type way if you brought something like that to my attention. Actually, I'll bet he had that exact moment internally, yet apologized anyway....for whatever reason that could be.

 

There's a very big difference between looking because you happen to be in the room and you're too drunk to leave ... and looking because you think your two female friends are hot and you're getting a boner while they make out in front of you for your enjoyment.

 

We don't know the exact situation, only the boyfriend does. But I don't think OP is out of line for talking to him about it or for feeling jealous. OP actually sounds very level headed about this.

 

I see this kind of similar to a guy going to a strip club just to "look at what everyone else in the room is looking at". Some girls would be perfectly okay with their boyfriend going to a strip club, and that's awesome for them. Other girls would be upset/jealous/uncomfortable if their boyfriend went to a strip club, and they're perfectly within reason to feel that way too.

[Tanzi]

There's a very big difference between looking because you happen to be in the room and you're too drunk to leave ... and looking because you think your two female friends are hot and you're getting a boner while they make out in front of you

 

Oh good grief ... he only looked for 60 seconds or so then went upstairs and passed out. Going down the road of assuming he had a boner etc is making the kind of assumption that an insecure person does when their other half happens to look at a woman who crossed his line of vision ... "I saw you looking at her, fancy her did you?". That's just insecurity and immaturity. He didn't go looking for it. It happened right there in front of his and many others eyes. Most people would look out of wonder/curiosity/amusement before realising that the girls were making idiots of themselves and having a laugh/gossip/b*tch and moving on. It was hardly a porn movie setting. There could easily have been a guy and a girl making out that people either looked at in the same way or ignored completely.

 

I see absolutely no point in comparing this to going to strip clubs or other situations that would bother you as an individual. It gets you nowhere because you are only winding yourself up by making assumptions and creating scenarios that didn't actually happen.

[Natasha24]

I was just giving an example of why I felt the boyfriend crossed a boundary.

 

There is no need to be so harsh. We all have differing opinions on this, and that's okay. Like I said, some girls would be perfectly okay with their boyfriend going to a strip club - or watching two girls make out for whatever reason - and that's awesome for them. It's great that they are able to not be jealous/insecure/uncomfortable about that kind of thing. But some girls would be upset if their boyfriend went to a strip club or watched two girls make out, and that's okay too.

 

Like I said, there are differing levels of what could have happened here. (Was he turned on? Does he find those two girls hot? Was he so drunk he didn't even know what was going on? Did he think they were making fools of themselves?) None of us know the exact situation, but I don't think OP was out of line to mention it to her boyfriend. No need to be so hostile here. Everyone is allowed to have different opinions

[Doc Blaze]

lol if this was me i would of pointed out the girls making out to my gf..lmao..o well

[Tanzi]

There's nothing harsh or hostile in my post ... just giving my "different opinion".

 

To be honest, I don't think it is OK to feel jealous to the point you can't let go of the situation when all you BF did was SEE two girls making out. He didn't go looking for the action.

 

Look, we can't control what other people do. What we can control is how we react to it. We are going to come accross countless situations in our lives that are beyond our control so there is little point in letting it eat away at us unnecessarily by making assumptions or creating scenarios that DIDN'T actually happen. He went upstairs and passed out and couldn't remember it the next day, so it seems it had little affect on him. As for the OP, well, she created a thread because it bothered her to the point she is having difficulty letting go of the event. We might as well help her put this into REAL perspective so that she nips any insecurities in the bud instead of allowing them to take root and grow into bigger ones.