My Breakup Story, It's Detailed!

[AaronSG]

I thought it would be interesting to type out the time line of events and situations in regards to my relationship, the breakup, post breakup and interesting facts and theory's that had come to the surface since my ex-fiance has been gone!

 

((Back History))

 

About 2 years ago I joined this on-line gaming group, tons of members who enjoyed playing the same games as I did, you know "like minded people" it was great. One of these members was a young woman, and through our groups computer communications program we could talk. The first 6 months was just your usual "hey, how are you" very casual. But as time went on this woman started to be drawn to me, even to the point where she would request to go into a private channel because she had some problems and needed help. Seeing that no one else was willing to help her, and me wanting to be a nice guy, I did, I started to talk to her a bit more intimately. As the weeks progressed we were caring less and less for gaming and hanging out with the other members, we just kept to ourselves. After about 3-4 months of this we decided that we should Skype, so we did, and that's where the fire works began! We enjoyed a couple months of hanging out every night on Skype, talking, playing games, and the more we talked the more we fell in love. At about the 2 month mark my ex-fiance said that we should meet! She told me that I could come to her place in Ohio, she said she would talk it over with her parents, for whom she lived with. my ex-fiance was 26 years old, mildly disabled due to chronic arthritis and some other stuff, she had never been out of her home town in Ohio, never been in a serious relationship and had always lived with her parents. So her parents and I skype'd about 5-6 times as so they could get to know me better, at the end they allowed the invite!

 

((May - 2013))

 

On May-15-2013 I boarded a plane and took off from Sacramento bound for Columbus Ohio! 9 hours later the wheels touched down and I exited the plane, made my way up the ramp, and there she was, beautiful, pretty, glowing, smiles, tears, just a wound up bundle of joy! I meet her parents, joy was on their faces, they were happy and let me tell you my ex-fiance's Mothers camera was taking shots like every 5 seconds. Right off the plane both parents were calling me "Son"! We made our way our of the airport and hoped into their truck and made our way to my ex-fiance's house. Once there, it's as if I had been there before, no discomfort, no feeling odd, from the moment I walked into the house it's as if I was a member of the family. We had great times, I took her and her family to see Iron Man 3, got taken out to eat a lot, we enjoyed back yard games like toss-a-cross, many back yard BBQ's, and the love.......my ex-fiance and were making love like rabbits! During my 2 weeks stay I asked my ex-fiance if she ever thought about moving out, you know, possibly she might want to come back home with me to live? She said yes quick! I then talked to her Father, after several talks, he allowed it! So I bought one more Airline ticket for the flight I would be returning on, and we were on our way!

 

((June-1-2013))

 

We landed back in Sacramento and in a short period of time, we walked hand in hand into our home! It was awesome, she loved the place, she loved the property, I gave her a tour around the pool, the spa and laundry rooms, introduced her to several of my friends, good times!

 

((Fast forward a bit))

 

Were now about 2-3 months into our relationship, everything was good, everything was fine. We were enjoying things, we were going out, grocery shopping together, trips to the malls, being invited to friends and family's homes for pool party's, BBQ's and movie nights! My ex-fiance was fitting in quite well with everyone! Splashing all these good times on Facebook! Then, oddly, after things like my parents homes and their cars and stuff got posted to Facebook like my Mom's home, her BMW and Audi, her pool, our stuff, coincidently shortly there after my ex-fiance's parents started to ask if we could loan them money! Nothing serious at first, $20.00 there, $30.00 here, but the requests for money kept coming in!

 

As the months progressed, things were still fine, by now I had been able to have my Mother rent us a couple cars, and we were able to take couple days trips to places like Santa Cruz and Bodega Bay where my ex-fiance got to touch the Pacific ocean for the first time and play in ocean waves and have beach sand between her toes! We were enjoying our nightly long walks together, talking about much of nothing, hanging our by the river, enjoying our shopping mall trips, just enjoying each other, still very much in love. But around this time period my ex-fiance's parents on our phone calls to them were starting to complain more and more how since their little girl had left, things had become harder to deal with, the money was tighter, just the start of a lot of boo hoo's! And as typical, more requests for some Pay Pal'd money!

 

((May 2014))

 

Around this time in our relationship things were pretty good, enough time had gone by where my ex-fiance and I were pretty well dialed into each other. The home was basically on "auto pilot" and we still were having good times, swimming, walking late nights, bowling, board games at the dinner table, hosting friends and family the works. But around this time the money started to get a little tight, my at home computer repair company wasn't bringing in the customers it once was. With my money I was paying the rent, and with my ex-fiance's money she would pay the household bills and pay half of the monthly food expenses. But around the time of the money tightness, my ex-fiance started to become uneasy for some reason, and of course a couple money requests came in from her parents, which I was barely able to do for them and keep thing afloat around here.

 

((June 2014))

 

During the start of June, we weren't able to do as much fun stuff as we once did, between my company's money slowing down and my ex-fiance's parents money requests, it was getting harder to shower my ex-fiance with gifts, trips, night out on the town, restaurant visits, ect. ect. ect. During this time period my ex-fiance was just looking a bit "off her game", was kind of having that deep thinking look in her eye's. I would always ask what's wrong, you want to talk, nope, just thinking about things, that's all. As I have in previous times, I knew we needed to get away and spice things up a bit, plus my ex-fiance was making suggestions if I could call my Mom and get some money to do something, so I did, told my Mom about things, she agree'd you guys got to get out of town for a while and recharge. So my Mom ordered up a rental car for two weeks and tossed me $500.00 and said "have fun"! So in the middle of June I was able to take my ex-fiance to places like Lake Tahoe and then San Francisco, where we had a blast, I took her out on a 2 hour bay cruise, dinner at Pier-39 and a setting sun walk accross the Golden Gate Bridge, where half way through and in the middle of the bridge, I asked for her hand in marriage? She said "yes'!

 

((July 2014))

 

This is the month that things started to take a couple turns! With our out of town trips over, and all the money given for those trips was gone, we were back to being money tight! The lavishments and thrills and frills that we used to enjoy were at a snails crawl. Were still in love, a bit the fire appeared at least for my ex-fiance to be dying out a little. We were trying the best we could, still enjoying each other, still doing all the fun things that didn't require us to bust open our wallets. Then on July-12-2014 I did something I never thought I would want to do, during a Skype call that my ex-fiance was having with her Father, I guess he was going on about now their having to sell things on Craigslist an e-bay just to make end meet. I was outside at the time talking to a friend here on property, when after I was done and walked in, I see my ex-fiance's computer with the Pay Pal web site up and our Mastercard in hand! I asked her, "what are you doing"? I'm sending my Dad some money, "okay, how much"? Like $50.00, that's all, we can do it! ((At this very moment I told myself it's time to draw a line in the sand, time to be firm, but not cruel, and put our foot down, because we can't afford for a single dollar to leave our front door, or we will fall.)) So with both of them I politely reminded them both of our now financial hardship, that I don't think that sending anyone money on-line right now is the best thing to do, and that I am humbly declining the request and not allowing this to happen! ((From that moment, I felt something in my gut, I really didn't know what the message it was trying to send, but it felt like I just opened up a Pandora's box!)) He Father got this displeased look.....like "how dare you" and my ex-fiance started to throw a bit of a fit because I wouldn't help out her family! I could tell from that moment "I started something"! From that moment on, I was getting scattered perports from people who live on property, that they were saying things like "Aaron, I came home and pulled up on property and I saw your fiancé sitting on a bench, alone in the park on her phone, is everything okay"? Several reports of sitting on the bench and late night calls, like 2:00am, 3:00am and sometimes 4:00am in the morning, all after I'm pretty much fast asleep. I got curious and seeing her cell phone was in my name, I bought it, I checked our phone provider web site, checked her phones activity, sure enough, there was something like 22 calls between her Father and her on the report! She was talking to her Father alone in the park at odd times of the night. One day I questioned her about that I had heard that she'd been out late at the park, on the phone, is everything okay? yeah, things are fine, just needed to talk to family for a bit!

 

((July-24-2014))

 

We were invited to one of Mom's back yard office pool party's that morning, "sure we'd love to go", so we went! We were having all kinds of fun, swimming, splashing water around, laughing, talking, everyone was in good spirits! Then it was time to cook food on the grill, I was in charge of that, while my ex-fiance stood by my side and helped. The night was going great! But the party guests slowly made their way home, and all was left was me, my Mom and my ex-fiance. My Mom said I'd better drive you guys home, and that's when my ex-fiance told us that she had something to say and that we'd better sit down to talk! That's when my fiance became an ex-fiance, she slowly started to talk and was breaking our relationship off. Mom and I were stunned! My Mom asked why? various excuses came out like "this relationship is getting to serious for me" and "this isn't the type of relationship I bargained for" and "Aaron's a great guy but he's got some issues" and "I'm home sick", cheap stuff like that. My Mother challenged her and asked her if she really knew what she was about to do? Your going to break of an engagement to a great guy! Your going to give up on the greatest thing that has ever happened to you! My ex-fiance said "yes I'm afraid I am going to give up"! Then my Mom, "have you thought this through"? and "Don't you feel like your being to hasty here"? and "what ever problems you got, you should stay and try to work them out"! My ex-fiance, no, no, no, I appreciate the good advise but my mind is made up! After a couple hours of going round and round with my ex-fiance, my Mom gave up and told her that's she was hopeless and a fool and stupid for what she was about ready to do. Them my ex-fiance said that she would be needing help in getting herself back to Ohio. She requested my Mom to buy her ticket to go home! My Mom was like, you got to be kidding me, you want me to buy your ticket after you just dumped my Son, your crazy! Mom said, you get SSI, you've got money, buy the Airline ticket yourself! My ex-fiance said she couldn't with her money, it was already spoken for! Mom said then why not ask your parents, then she stopped and said oh that's right, they always are having money problems and your always telling us how broke they are, so I guess your parents are out of the question! Mom said "fine, but it's going to be a while, for I'm not spending big money on your butt, I'm doing advanced booking for the cheapest rate I can get, cause right now that's all your worth! So my Mom loaded us into her car and drove us home! I knew that living now with an ex-fiance wasn't going to be easy, little did I know just how hard it was going to be! For the very moment we walked through the front door, and our two cat's approached my ex-fiance, because for the better part of the year, she was the one who liked to feed them, when the cat's came meowing, my ex-fiance threw up her hands and told them that from here on out if you want any food, water clean litter box, you now only be getting it from Daddy, because I'm done! This set the "theme" as far as how things in the final weeks were to go!

 

((July-25-2014)) to ((August-2-2014))

 

All of a sudden it was my job to cook, clean, tend to the cats, laundry, dishes, the works! All the while my ex-fiance would sit in her living room easy chair and be on her computer playing candy crush and other Facebook games all day! Oh yeah, and my ex-fiance's need to make sure to walk by me when on the phone to her family, always making it to be going back home will be so nice, talking about all the things she wants to buy for her old bedroom, to spice it up and give it some flair. TV's, new bed, new bedroom set, desk, computer, you name it, she was making sure she was gloating about it, and making sure I could hear it! Those phone calls really hurt! During this time my Mom called and said that she booked my ex-fiance on a flight back home on August-3-2014, so we had an "end date"! Also during this time my ex-fiance really started to make her leaving all about me, pretty much blaming me for everything, I was apologizing for all I could, but it felt like what I was saying sorry to was trivial stuff at best. During this time my ex-fiance made sure to get her name off everything, the bills, shared credit cards, the works. Also she was packing up shipping boxes and mailing her stuff back to Ohio. But it was odd, her's a woman that is pretty much laying all the blame on me, and when I try to turn the tables and ask what part of this is her fault, she wouldn't answer. Or she'd say something like "I know my parts but I'm not going to share them with you", "for I don't want to give you anything that you can hold over my head while I'm still here"!Also, some nights, when we were eating she's get one of her very rare emotional moments and misty up in the eye's and ramble on about how she's going to miss this place, miss being free, miss the cat's, miss me, miss our walks, our trips, our nights out, our friends, the family ect. ect. ect. On the night of July-30-2014 she had one of her emotional moments, this time going as far to say that perhaps someday in the future, like 4-6 months down the road, after I'm back home and get my feet back on the ground and you get yourself better, maybe we can talk again and maybe think about reconciliations! Being hurt, with a twist of still being love, I thought I still had a desperate foot in the door, that perhaps this wasn't the end, we just needed some time apart, that's all. She kept talking lofty thoughts and bubble gum stuff.

 

((August-3-2014))

 

The day I had been dreading had finally arrive. It was departure day for my ex-fiance. Even through all the hurt this woman had put me and my family through I was still so much in love with her. I didn't want to see her leave. Through out the day she made final preparations around the house, made her last minute phone calls, put one more shipping box together, and we enjoyed our last dinner and Netfilx time together! Then around 7:30pm the Airport shuttle van arrived that my Mom had gotten for my ex-fiance, talk about panic, fear, depression, anxiety, racing thoughts, shortness of breath, I was a wreck! We had time for one final embrace, one final long kiss and a final "I love you"! She boarded the van, I put her bags in the back, walked up to her in the van, reached in and held her hand for a minute. I kept telling her "I'm sorry for all my part I played in this" and "please don't go", she didn't really respond. The door closed, the engine started up and she slowly rolled down the driveway, onto the street and about 10 seconds later was out of visual. Needless to say I was a fracking loon, I was shaking, couldn't move, trembling, couldn't think, I was a mess.

 

((Continued))

 

I had been doing my best in the days since my ex-fiance left, but the dread, the doom, the depression, the distrust, the betrayal, the doom, the gloom, I wasn't alright! Plus I had found a note that she had hidden perhaps minutes before she left, who knows, it really didn't have any love to it, other than telling me to stay positive, stay strong for our two little girls, keep budgeting, keep couponing, stay focused, and she ended it with the word "hope"! But it was in code, H = Hold, O = On, P = Pain and E = Ends! I didn't think this to be any sort of goodbye love note, it rather sounded like things were final!

 

((August-7-2014))

 

It was around 11:00pm and I was going out of my mind missing her, I got on my phone and text'd her, asked if I could call her, she said for a quick minute! So I called her, she answered, but she sounded different. She no longer sounded like a person that was bubble gum about anything, she now sounded serious and cruel. During our talk, I brought up what she said back on July-30-2014, about the possibility of reconciliations and how that might work? She said 'forget it" and "Aaron just forget about me" and "go on with your life and let me go" and "from here on out I think it best if we don't talk to each other anymore, I don't care about you, I don't care about your friends, I don't care about your family, just leave me alone"! So I said that this is how it ends, with a verbal knife blade of lies into my heart, she said, yup, that's what it sounds like and I emotionally told her goodbye and hung up the phone!

 

((The puzzle pieces start to fall into place))

 

Since my ex-fiance has been gone, I have had a lot of people approach me to make sure I'm okay and also to provide me with their puzzle piece of information about what they were subjected to while my ex-fiance was with me.

 

My ex-wife found out about week after my ex-fiance had left, that she was gone. She came over to make sure I was okay! While here she provided me with some information that she and her Husband had kept to themselves for over a year. She told me that on the first night meeting my ex-fiance, she was troubled by her. During the visit the lady's requested that the men go out and get more Pepsi, so while me and my ex-wife's Husband were out the girls talked. My ex-wife asked how a person like her got herself out of all places of Columbus Ohio? My ex-wife was expecting an answer like "I fell in love with the man of my dreams and got over my fear of flying and came to live with the one I love"! Nope, not her answer, she said "that when people like us get a chance to get ourselves out of the maggot bowl, for good, for bad, we don't care, we get out"! Also during the talk my ex-wife made it known that she was upset with my Son's health provider, she wasn't getting the services that he needed because something wasn't right with his medical files. My ex-fiance told my ex-wife to give her all the files, stunned my ex-wife asked why? Let me take a look at it, we can fudge some information here and alter some dates here, alter some information there, I'm sure I can get your Son what he needs that way! My ex-wife again was stunned, how do you know how to do stuff like that? My ex-fiance said "I've seen my Dad do it all the time with SSI and the V.A., I think I've seen him do it enough that I could do it as well"! My ex-wife "no thank you little girl, not interested and she was getting up to leave, when I arrived back from the store, I asked her are you leaving, she said yes, and told me to watch out for this woman, she's going to be trouble! Being blindly in love I let that statement slide. My ex-wife didn't tell me any of this at the time as for fear it would hurt me!

 

Also my Son, who had spent very little time at my place while my ex-fiance was living with me came up to me and told me some information. It appears at various points in time, that my ex-fiance had a couple secret talks with him, telling him things like he should stay away from his Father because your father has problems with you, and he's not welcome at our home!

 

A friend of mine came up to me and told me he was glad my ex-fiance was gone! I asked why? He told me that 5 weeks into her stay she approached him and told him he wasn't welcome at our home. He asked why? she answered, because I know you drink and I don't want you bringing alcohol to my home and giving it to my man! Plus she went as far as telling him he was an alcoholic and should get himself some help. So that's why he'd stayed away all this time, because he was sick of my ex-fiance.

 

A couple friends came to my home to visit, they are Brothers, they to told me that they were glad my ex-fiance was gone, I asked why? Because in the final couple months of her being here, they were getting very tired of her asking them for things. For in the past they felt like she was taking advantage of their kindness by providing us rides to places. They told me they almost never got one "thank you" out of that woman! She just kept asking and asking and asking for rides and such, to them they felt when it came to her, "enough was never enough"! They even went as far to tell me that they feel that she was nothing but a natural born user of people! Hence why in the final months they never returned any texts or voice mails from her, never bothered calling her back, they were done with her.

 

Also my ex-wife re-approached me some time later and told me that she remembered that she was talked to once or twice by my ex-fiance. Being told that she wasn't welcome anymore at our home, and to stay away! Plus my ex-fiance said that it was creepy for an ex-wife to be so close to an ex-Husband, she almost accused her of trying to stalk me to get me back!

 

((August-18-2014))

 

Around 10:00pm at night I get an out of the blue phone call from a family member of my ex-fiance. This person told me the only reason for the call is that they didn't think it fair that I go the rest of my life wondering why as to the real reasons why my ex-fiance had left me. Plus I was told that when I was at Columbus Ohio that I had impressed them enough that they knew I wasn't a bad person and had earned this phone call. I was told that for weeks leading up to the breakup my ex-fiance was being guilt tripped by her Father about how they couldn't make it anymore without her, we're going to fall without you, you need to come back home! This person witnessed a couple of these calls. I was told that in the final week before the breakup my ex-fiance's Fathers words weren't really working, my ex-fiance was kind of standing her ground a little. Then her Father upped things "big time"! He told her that a couple days ago he was standing in the living room and touched the family cross on the wall, he was then hit with a powerful message from God, God told him "Aaron is bad news, your Daughter needs to get away from him, you Daughter needs to come home"! That did it, my ex-fiance bought it! This person was disgusted by this and shortly there after left and went home, they couldn't believe what they witnessed, all the while telling my ex-fiance's Father what he was doing was wrong! Also I was told by this family member, that shortly after me ex-fiance returned to Ohio, that she went ahead and paid her parents rent to their landlord. Also she bought them grocery's and some odds and ends. So that's what she meant that her money was spoken for at my Mom's house, she already knew she was going to swoop in and save the day by paying her parents rent. That's why my ex-fiance refused to pay any of the bills that she was leaving behind and helped generate.

 

((October-5-2014))

 

It's around 6:00pm my time, just got done with dinner and my phone rings, I look and it's another family member of my now ex-fiance. I answer it, and was greeted warmly by this person, even being told that since I had been out of my ex-fiance's life, things just haven't been the same and that they missed me, I was pleased to hear it. But later in the conversation things got painfully interesting, I was personally advised by this family member of her's, that they were visiting my ex-fiance's parents, kind of a "dinner and a movie" thing, this person at some point was standing inside my ex-fiance's Fathers home office, where her Father was on his computer and looking at my Facebook page. I was told that her Father asked to person to come closer and check things out! Her Father than jumped into my Mother's page, then my Fathers page, then my Brothers page ect. ect. ect. After jumping into all my Family's pages, this person was told by my ex-fiance's Father and I quote......"out of all them men out there on the Internet for my Daughter to land, she sure hooked us a winner"! This person requested for my ex-faince's Father to explain himself, what did he mean, this person was told "just look at all that they got, everyone appears loaded with cash, whatever we do, we got to make sure we try and score some of what they got"! This person was floored, my plane hadn't even landed at Port Columbus International Airport yet, and her Father is already drooling about what type of a Family his Daughter just got herself into! I was told by this person that your visit at Columbus Ohio, to meet her parents and ask for their Daughter's hand in marriage for the most part was staged! He told me that id the visit was "pure" and everyone was being their true selves, then I most likely would have changed my mind about the whole thing and flew back to Sacramento........(((alone!))) He told me that he could tell everyone put on their best hats, their best masks and their best foot forward to try and impress you and to make you think that they were something of a family that they are not. Bluntly, I was told, that this person thinks I got scammed! From day #1 to the time her Father pulled the plug on my relationship with his Daughter, from start to finish I had to question "motive" and by having now to question the motive, I was told it therefore tarnishes and taints the whole relationship! Also, I was told by this person that what he thinks they did to me, is one of the main reasons that this person doesn't hang out with them very much, this person told me that they try to stay away, because of things like this that they do!

 

((At Present))

 

I'm doing the best I can to cope with all of this, I would be lying if I told you I didn't miss her! There's just so much confusion inside my head, a lot of why's are bothering me! Daily I'm just trying to put one foot in front of the other, I'm sometimes struggling to do basic jobs around the house without emotionally loosing it! I shake my head at times and ask, what was my ex-fiance's motives for coming out here in the first place, what? Just to use me and the people in my life! Did her parents agree to let her come just to get what she could out of people linked to me, all the while making sure that she Pay Pal'd them money! I wonder how brain dead a person can be to let her own Father destroy the one and only relationship they had ever had? I know at some point she had to love me, she was always saying it to me, where did it go wrong? Why did she lie to me in those final weeks and change things up and being nasty with me on our final phone call? What was I to these people? Just a lot of questions echoing in my head!

 

I'm having a hard time going back to living alone! But everything I try to do good for myself always has an attached memory of her. I go for a late night walk, I walk by something that my ex-fiance perhaps pointed out in the past, the memories hit. I go to the store to buy stuff, the memories of her lingers there to. I got down town to the mall and she's still there in my memories. I come back home to an empty home, missing the days when being warmly greeted at the door! I miss a lot about her, her silliness, her cooking, her love, her companionship, her humor, her redneck and duct tape ways, to much to write down that I miss.

 

I know through her family's actions and hers as well, and the post information I've been given I know our relationship was doomed.

 

But regardless of the relationship being doomed, it still hurts!

[bounddyy]

There are people out there that will use you. As you tell your story it does show she loved you because you didnt write you were wealthy or stable enough to provide extra income for her parents through chat/Skype did you? Maybe she got used by her parents and or was grown into it. But the bottom line is you need to get over her , get NEW things by that I dont mean throw away all your belongings but get a dog care for it nurture it make it your important person (no dog fetish bro) and your probably not eating right from all the heart ache start to eat again healthy go to gym. Focus on work. Keep yourself busy but before all this you need to think this through you have to accept the present facts, sit down and read your own story you need to pull in the bad parts too, dont pity her dont pity yourself you need to be strong be on your feet think about the future, who knows around the corner could be another beautiful lady who might just be right one, think positive! It seems your a computer techy now go get a book on python learn it and make money, work on physical things that require mind and body. For example when I broke up with my gf i couldnt do anything related to mental thinking. so I sat infront of my motorcycle I cleaned it tinkered with it. Im not saying pull apart your car and out it back, find a physical project that requires not too much knowledge. Go out have fun with your friends.

[sadchick83]

I read your whole post. Unfortunately, the parents are hustlers and she is a ho. There are people out there with no moral fibre, people who could fake a relationship to get what they want. I'm very sorry for you. My ex sponged off me our whole relationship. Nice people get used, its as simple as that. While meeting people on the internet may work for some, there is a whole world of predators out there faking people out, swindling others out of their cash, etc. Date those you know, or at least are friends of a friend.

 

You will probably never get the full answers to your questions, but know this. She was a fake. Catch yourself before some memory comes along. Tell yourself that this witch was a user. Get angry, its easier. Date up (wont be hard here) next time, it will help you forget.

[AaronSG]

As sadchick83 has described, and that fact is something that I'm mentally having to get used to, it hurts, it really does, but as pointed out "her parents were hustlers and she was a ho"! Sometimes when my mind drifts off to memory's of being at her home in Ohio, I hate to admit it, for I enjoy'd the blindness that love brought me, but as I remember back, without the blinders, without the rose colored glasses I am now tending to see a gambit of "red flags" that were right in front of me. The very first "red flag" was the fact that her parents didn't even really know me, other than 5-6 Skype calls, but here they were, I'm minutes off the plane and their already calling me "Son", already talking to me as if I've been a member of the family all my life, so eager to please, so eager to impress, so eager to always "talk up" their Daughter to me ect. ect. ect. I should have not been so blinded by their strong eagerness and nearly desperation to impress me and make their daughter out to be the next best thing since sliced break, peanut butter and jelly! But alas, I was in love, I was blinded and I now know that they used my temporary handicap of love against me.

 

One of the biggest "red flag's" that I should have noticed was the fact that her parents allowed a man, from 2000 miles away, a person for whom they really didn't know all that well, a person who was now in their home for the first time, the parents made certain that this guy, "me", would be put into a position but to have no choice but to spend his first night with them in the same bed as their Daughter. They made sure to go out and buy their Daughter in anticipation of my arrival a brand new queen sized bed, funny part is their Daughter had been begging her parents all her life for a bed, for she never had one, ever, she always had to sleep as comfortably as she could on her bedroom floor. But here it is, their Daughter had always longed for a bed and her parents always dismissed her requests, but wait, Aaron's coming, the two kids are going to need a bed, a bed where he'll have to share with our Daughter! I think they had no problem providing us a new bed for the mire fact that they hoped and prayed that their Daughter would lay on her "female charm" and they were counting on her roping me in with some possible "night time favors" and getting me through those night time favors more secure on the fishing hook that they had me on!

 

It's just sad that there are people out there in this world that are like my ex-finance and her family! A family that due to their own personal choices in life, and choosing poor money management, choosing to rather be "takers" rather than "givers", choosing to come to expect things due to their "entitlement" issues, due to them choosing to be on "entitlement programs" for the most parts of their lives, due to them choosing "seclusion" rather than "inclusion" for most of their lives, due to choosing to have issue with just about everything and at the end of the day it's all a "conspiracy" against them, their choosing to have their "Big Brother" issues, their constant need to sit on the sidelines of life and expect everyone else to do it for them, because their "entitled", all these things don't make for a happy and healthy household!

 

Since my ex-fiance's departure I have gone about trying to do some good things for myself, I've gone about re-connecting with some family and friends, gone about re-connecting with my Son, I gone about joining a couple weekly support groups in my area and trying my best to learn from those groups, try to gain some knowledge so the next time I even think about getting into a serious relationship, next time I won't be scared to put a halt to things when the "red flags" are shown. I also went about moving, yup, I got myself out of the home that my ex-fiance had shared. At the tail end of September I made a choice, I knew that remaining in the home that we shared wasn't healthy for me, to many visual reminders, to many memory's, and the old place was then being nicknamed by my friends and family as the "memory pit of despair"! So I moved into a new place, a place never shared with another, a place where I, and I alone rained supreme, a place that everything I touched and looked at didn't have any visual reminders about day's past, this move has helped me greatly, I'm sleeping better at night, I'm more happy with myself than I was in the old place, the moved helped my two cat's greatly for they have returned to being normal cat's, because even they took my ex leaving pretty hard. I also got myself a psychiatrist and was put on a couple different medications to help combat the depression and the sleep issues. Also through the pain, through the hurt and discomfort I purposely put myself into location positions that could have "made or break" me, I revisited many places around town that were once our "special places", I put myself into those locations as a sort of way as to "take back my power" to possibly desensitize myself to those locations, showing myself that even without her I can still visit our once "spacial places", it felt like with putting myself into those situation I felt like it baptism by fire, it must have looked odd for people walking by to see me at those locations crying, sobbing, hurt, wallowing, they must of thought I was crazy!

 

I'm just trying my best to "jump start" my life back up! Maybe going through all of this was a good thing, maybe this situation as a whole was something I needed to go through! Maybe these questionable and possibly evil people in the end helped teach me something. I know I'm in no rush to get myself into another serious relationship, not at all, my heart is no where close to being fully healed, it was scorched by the destructive power of a relationship nuclear weapon, it will be a while, but when the time starts to be looking right and there's a new woman before me, I can at least thank myself for going through hells fires as to learn some valued things, and maybe, just maybe, my next relationship will be more of a success story than my prior one.

 

But even with my optimistic talk, even with all this lofty talk, it doesn't shake the fact that I still have some serious issues with these people, namely my ex, just because I'm doing better and taking responsibility for my parts that helped in the demise of the relationship by joining support groups and getting professional help, doesn't mean those people are "off the hook"! But in the end I'm just facing that facts that my ex-fiance's father is nothing more than a liar, scam artist, a cheat, a fraud, a con artist, a plotter, a schemer, a manipulator, a deceiver, a alcoholic, a prescription drug abuser, an abuser, a possible sexual deviant and just an all around narcissist! Her Mother, she's the most innocent amongst the three of them, she has suffered at the hands of her Husband, she has mental issues, namely "battered wife syndrome"! That man in his most highest fits of rage has been known to pull handguns into his wife's face and threaten to kill her. Her Mother has been subjected to decades worth of domestic violence and verbal abuse! And then there's my ex-fiance, who like her Father displayed certain traits of being a liar, a cheat, a fake, a fraud, a one trick pony show, a schemer, a deceiver, a user of good people, an overly aggressive sexual deviant, a 2nd grade drop out, a person with no empathy and sympathy for other people's hardships, a person who is purely emotional based without a lick of anything close to logic..............in the end, I have to face fact's, that my ex-faince is a sociopath in training!

 

It's just all very sad, my ex-faince didn't even know what she had with me, still probably doesn't, she's just been so "institutionalized" by her own life to not notice that she just lost out on the greatest thing to have even happened in her! So willing to leave her new founded slice of heaven and go back into the gapping mouth of hell............fricking insane!

[bounddyy]

Hey,

 

I know I didn't lose nearly as much as you in a relationship. I had an ex just like that and that was 3 years first long term relationship, yes I'm only 20 but damn it 3 years is a lot for me. You just got to give it time and the worst part is people ruin people. You've probably heard this, "A bad relationship ruins a good person", don't let this relationship get to you. Yes step carefully but don't think everyone will be the same as her. In the end you just have to let go, don't get the "revenge" attitude it's unhealthy and you don't want to do something stupid out of anger. Just ignore her, don't think about it and move on.