Is it possible to become best friends with an ex?

[lifeisaparadox]

So I dated this guy for about 3 years and we started dating in high school and ended up breaking up some time in college. We grew apart and fell out of love, and that was it. We grew up at different paces, transitioning from being a teenager in high school to an adult in college. We've been broken up for almost a year now and we did talk every now and then in that timespan, always just catching up to see how things are.

 

 

We still get along VERY well and I can still tell him everything. He still can understand me completely like a best friend would. When we were together, he basically became my best friend and everything alongside a boyfriend. Like he and I get along better than me getting along with most of my friends 'cause he knows me so deeply and he's logical in terms of offering advice.

 

Well, we both established that there are no romantic feelings left over. We've moved on. We tried kissing but it was a very empty kiss on both ends. We still find comfort in cuddling and talking but it's nothing romantic. I was wondering if it's possible to become best friends, maybe stay friends with him despite our 3 year history?

 

We're both adults now and matured a lot since we broke up. I was just wondering if it would be a good idea to keep him as a friend. I'm positive we don't have a romantic attraction or sexual attraction to each other anymore, we just get along very well like two really good friends. We still care for each other like close friends do. In the future when I date somebody new, would it be a bad idea to title him as just a friend and leave out the ex part? Is this common/possible?

[MonkeyInATree]

I think so. I'm friends with some of my exes. They know me in a way most don't, and can be some of my greatest allies in the romantic department. I wouldn't worry about it since you two have confirmed your platonic relationship. And yes, I'd introduce him as a friend. Attaching the ex title to a new beau would be weird and kind of holding on to the past instead of acknowledging the awesome friendship you have as paramount.

[t1lersm0m1]

If you still get along very well and are in contact, then aren't you already being friends? I'm not sure what advice you are seeking.

 

I think hiding the fact that this guy is an ex from future bf's can be seen as deceit. I know I would feel deceived if a guy I was dating had a female friend and I later learned they were together three years.

[lifeisaparadox]

^ Oh I was asking if it's possible to have the close relationship of a best friend with an ex, since like @MonkeyInATree said, my ex knows me in a way many of my friends don't which is why we get along so well and why we're so close.

 

We are on a friendship level right now but recently we started talking on an almost daily basis, constant communication and we're planning on hanging out this weekend with some old friends. I don't talk to regular friends everyday, only my closest friends.

[Clinton]

Anything is possible.As long as the romantic feelings have died and there are no hard feelings from the breakup, why not?

[mhowe]

I don't think I would want to find out by bf was "cuddling" with his ex gf ------ and calling her a friend.

[misssmithviii]

I agree with mhowe and t1... You run a great risk of hiding your history with this guy if you get a new bf. You have to remember that just because you're not obligated to dish out your past to your new bf, you are somewhat expected to be upfront with exes who are still in your life regardless of how long it's been.

 

How would you like if if you fell hard for a guy and his best friend who's a female, he cuddles with and has had a 3 year relationship with in the past? Just make sure you don't start playing with double standards and you'll be fine.

[Hellboy]

Yes, it's possible. I had that with one of my exes.

[HeartGoesOn]

We've moved on. We tried kissing but it was a very empty kiss on both ends. We still find comfort in cuddling and talking but it's nothing romantic. I was wondering if it's possible to become best friends, maybe stay friends with him despite our 3 year history?

 

After reading the above, I think there's great potential for this going from "friends" to FWB's in a very short time. Of course it is possible to be friends with an ex, but it takes much more than a year of being apart.

[bramhalpert]

I dont know, I dont think an ex would be an ex if there were still so many feelings.. They are your ex for a reason

[Mfic99]

Generally I say no way. But in this instance it's possible. I am curios as to why he needs you though as a friend. Men don't need woman as friends, we have guys to hang out with for that, so what's in It for him? Is he secretly gay? Does he not have his own set of friends?