He's complaining of a smell during sex? Me? Him? Both?

[faraday]

Vagina's can be smelly.

 

It has nothing to do with being circumcised. The showering thing though....it just wouldn't be fair if it was her, not him.

 

Personally, if I found out my bf showered weekly...this would become a non-issue....because I wouldn't let him penis me again....but I am really weird. I wash my sheets twice a week...and obsessively clean the bathtub....I accept that I'm defective

[weathergirl]

He is uncut though.... and doesn't shower frequently.

 

Neither was my boyfriend and he never produces that bad of a smell. And if someone didn't shower, yes there would be a smell...but not so off-putting to mention it the way the OP's boyfriend did..., after sex.

 

The complaints I have read explain a different type of smell...a strong pungent "fishy" smell. That's not from someone not taking a shower.

 

Look, I didn't mean to alarm the OP. Her boyfriend has a concern. He mentioned it to her because he believes it's coming from her and he wants her to address it.

 

So why can't she see a doctor and check it out? What's the harm?

 

Instead of all this back and forth... that maybe it's him, maybe it not, etc.

 

Just check it out and be done with it!

[Cheetarah]

Thrush does smell..like beer. lol.

 

Uncut does not equal stinky...Now it does if someone doesn't take measures of proper hygiene.

 

We are inclined to think he is the culprit because he hardly showers. OP says he doesn't stink...and she doesn't think she stinks...I've had BV once when preg, there is no way you can miss that smell...It is pungent.

 

You have to ask him if it's a vagina odor. I mean...And I'm not trying to be crude here, but is the back end thoroughly cleansed after you take a BM? Maybe it is like...wooshing upwards.

[Cherry009]

I read somewhere once that the mixing of male & female juices produces a 'sex smell' perhaps he is just particularly sensitive to that.

 

I'd say to him in the future that hes not putting his thing near you until he showers!!!!!

[diamond78]

Let's face it. Men have strong body odors in general and the area down below for men can get warm and humid after a long day. If he is has showered only once in 2 weeks then he is most likely musty as hell down there. He probably doesn't even notice the smell anymore until it has mixed with your love juices resulting in an unpleasant aroma that he is getting a whiff of during sex.

 

I must say you are too nice because if had made that comment to me, I would have swiftly expressed to him that maybe if he took a shower more than once every two weeks then he wouldn't have to worry about any 'smells'.

 

Tell him he needs to shower up.

[weathergirl]

Bottom line... IF my boyfriend made that comment to me...I would be at my doctor within the hour! Or that day anyway.

 

And if it was BV or another type of infection, I would want it taken care of PRONTO.

 

I don't take ANY chances with my health like that.

 

Blaming him does nothing but puts your own health at risk... if it IS actually an infection.

 

It it's not...then no harm no foul. Tell HIM to see a doctor OR take a shower.

[Fudgie]

OP had thrush before but it sounds like she knows what it smells like so if she's not smelling it on her, I'm inclined to think that's probably not it. Could be BV though, but that usually has a small of its own and/or a change in discharge which she would probably notice.

 

I normally wouldn't blame the guy for something like this (yes, females tend to be the source of sex smells, that's just the nature of a vagina) but this guy DOESN'T WASH himself. 1 shower in 2 weeks. There is no way, I repeat, no way he doesn't smell in some way. He's ripe!

 

Okay, here's a good test: he needs to shower THOROUGHLY and wash his genitals too, and then have sex and see if he complains.

[Iggles]

Like I said, he has quite a tight foreskin, so I'm just wondering if there isn't enough ventilation or whatever... I'm not a dude so I have no idea about what guys go through in terms of cleaning their junk haha!

 

I wouldn't be able to laugh it off, OP. I'd ask him pointed questions about his cleaning routine and not allow him to come near me until he started showering before sex each time (that in addition, to showering at least once a day).

 

If he is has showered only once in 2 weeks then he is most likely musty as hell down there. He probably doesn't even notice the smell anymore until it has mixed with your love juices resulting in an unpleasant aroma that he is getting a whiff of during sex.

 

^^ This!

 

It's pretty insulting that the man who doesn't shower daily is inferring that his girlfriend is the one who smells during sex!

 

I wouldn't do anything sexual at all with this guy. Yuck!

[Cheetarah]

Okay, it is natural to deduce that he owns the funk being he fell off the hygiene wagon. He probably has developed an immunity(maybe she did, too) to his own stale balls and finally woke up and smelled the coffee, so to speak.

 

I surely would not waste money on a trip to the doctor without both of us having a shower before being intimate.

[Fudgie]

Okay, it is natural to deduce that he owns the funk being he fell off the hygiene wagon. He probably has developed an immunity(maybe she did, too) to his own stale balls and finally woke up and smelled the coffee, so to speak.

 

I surely would not waste money on a trip to the doctor without both of us having a shower before being intimate.

 

I completely agree.

 

BTW, this is why it really helps to know your own body and what is normal for you "down there". Know what you smell like when you're not aroused, know what you smell like when you are aroused, know what your "normal" level of discharge (some are more "wet" normally than others, others like myself tend to be rather dry until aroused), all of that. If you know your body and what "normal" is to you, it makes healthcare a heck of a lot easier and you will be able to find out very soon when things go wrong and you need treatment.

[Heather Dawn]

I read somewhere once that the mixing of male & female juices produces a 'sex smell' perhaps he is just particularly sensitive to that.

 

Yes! I've noticed that. Even if we're both right out of a shower and totally odorless, after sex there's a definite sex smell.

[weathergirl]

I think it's having an impact on our sex life as well, he doesn't seem interested in touching me, which I understand if he thinks the smell is from me?

 

Saures...it's your call. You can do nothing and continue blaming HIM... resulting in him feeling repulsed by you (which is what he's feeling), not able to touch you or have sex with you.

 

OR, you can spend a $20 co-pay and see your doctor...just to be sure.

 

If it's nothing...then fabulous... now you know it's NOT you AND you can blame him all you want.

 

But why chance it? This is your health you're dealing with. Frankly I think it's reckless for you to not look into the "possibility" that it could be you.

 

Do your research. Toxic smells during sex are 99.9% of the time caused by the woman's vagina.

[Iggles]

But why chance it? This is your health you're dealing with. Frankly I think it's reckless for you to not look into the "possibility" that it could be you.

 

Do your research. Toxic smells during sex are 99.9% of the time caused by the woman's vagina.

 

I don't disagree with you.

 

I just think they should BOTH shower before having sexy times and see if THAT solves the issue. It's a lot fast experiment and can be sussed out tonight.

[Fresh Air]

All this focus on genitals...after sex he's probably smelling his own ass.

[Fudgie]

I don't disagree with you.

 

I just think they should BOTH shower before having sexy times and see if THAT solves the issue. It's a lot fast experiment and can be sussed out tonight.

 

Exactly, it's a very simple experiment and it's free and quick to try.

 

Just something else about going to the gyno. I don't mind going and I always get my annual exams/paps done, but I think you need to know your body and be wary. I had a gyno who was always keen to throw me on antibiotics without asking too many questions. I actually had a sexual question years ago with my gyno because I had bled a couple times during sex. I was wondering if that was normal because of the "size" of the guy because at the time, I felt some pain and pressure from that, or perhaps it was my hymen? I wasn't sure, it's not like I can see very well myself! I had no discharge/odor problems, no real pain problems, and my annual exam appeared to be normal. She seemed a little uncomfortable talking to me and just said "Well it could be BV, let me write you a script" and refused to talk more about it. I told her no, it wasn't BV, that I had no indicators or history of BV, and I didn't want to take unnecessary antibiotics. She couldn't give me a real reason for why she thought I had BV, just "take these in case".

 

Needless to say, I went home and ripped up the script and tossed it.

 

My current gyno is not like this, thank goodness, but it's just something to consider. I think it's good to know your body and what's going on. I've had a few yeast infections in my life and I know what that feels/smells like and I don't even go to the gyno for that, I treat at home. Pretty sure if I went to my last gyno, she'd pull the same crap. Some are just too happy to give you antibiotics even if you don't need them. It would be a shame if you went right to your doctor and they assumed you had BV from your "smell" complaints from your unshowered boyfriend, and then gave you antibiotics without you needing them.

 

Again, I don't trust the olfaction of anyone who is happy to spend 2 weeks without seeing the inside of a tub or shower stall.

[weathergirl]

I don't disagree with you.

 

I just think they should BOTH shower before having sexy times and see if THAT solves the issue. It's a lot fast experiment and can be sussed out tonight.

 

Sounds great in theory but it won't work if he's repulsed and won't touch her (like she said).

[weathergirl]

Exactly, it's a very simple experiment and it's free and quick to try.

 

.

 

Again, how can they have sex if he won't touch her?

 

She could suggest it I suppose.... see what he says.

[Fudgie]

Again, how can they have sex if he won't touch her?

 

She could suggest it I suppose.... see what he says.

 

I think it's definitely worth a suggestion.

[misssmithviii]

How would HE know if he smells bad? I mean, especially since he can't put his face down there.

 

He needs to shower jeez... It's him not you.

 

 

...

[Iggles]

Sounds great in theory but it won't work if he's repulsed and won't touch her (like she said).

 

OP said he won't touch her during sex because of the smell. If they both shower there may be no smell...

[weathergirl]

I think it's definitely worth a suggestion.

 

Okay agree...

[weathergirl]

OP said he won't touch her during sex because of the smell. If they both shower there may be no smell...

 

I know but sometimes it's a mental thing. If he's got it in his head that it's her...he may not be willing.

 

But it's worth her suggesting it anyway. Can't hurt.

[weathergirl]

I just thought of something. Maybe he doesn't want to have sex with her for other reasons, and is using this smell thing as an excuse.

 

Just a thought...

[Cheetarah]

Well, he is a completely insensitive brute if he is assigning her a mysterious vagina funk. I mean, really. There are endless excuses one could use to avoid sex that doesn't directly insult their partner.

 

I'm just going with stale ball immunity. Until proven otherwise by soaking his nether regions.

[weathergirl]

One more thing and I know I am beating a dead horse here...but if the smell IS coming from him because he doesn't shower, then surely SHE would smell it too, no?

 

I mean especially when she goes down on him. Ick.

 

But yet, she says she doesn't smell it, which leads me to think it's coming from her vagina.

 

Okay done. I hope the OP comes back and let's us know what happened!