New here, Just need to vent

[Perfect Life]

I understand, I encouraged all his visits to his parents house and would never tell him not to go see them. I just have to be ok with the fact that I didn't win this time. I was given a gift of true happiness for me and the kids, and I thought for him. And it has vanished through no fault of my own. There really is no one to place the blame on. Nothing to say, this is where I went wrong. These arguments are the ones that have brought on the end. 4 minutes before he told me he changed his mind, he was saying that he loved me, that he hasn't changed a bit. Even after he broke up with me, he said he would never find anyone to love him the way I have and that he was still in love with me. That it was a hard decision, and that his mind was made up. It was over.

[mhowe]

What arguements?

[Perfect Life]

Sorry, I should have used quotation marks.

 

Nothing to say, "this is where I went wrong. These arguments are the ones that have brought on the end."

 

Meaning that there was not any issues to place the blame on. We never argued. Never raised our voices, there was no need to. We talked things out like adults. We were able to talk about everything, or so I thought

[Undy]

Jeez.. those fathers and wanting to spend time with their kids ruins everything.

/sarcasm

 

Nice way to treat your kids by attempting to rip their father out of their lives and replace him with someone you have know for a little over a year. I have never heard anything so selfish in my life. I am glad the courts blocked you. Maybe you should get your priorities straight and understand that a father is an important figure in their lives inspite of your lousey opinion.

[Perfect Life]

Thanks Undy, Its nice to hear everyones opinion in the matter. I agree that children need their father. Despite what you may think, I was not taking them away. I had provided a very generous visitation schedule. Though I agree that there are many great fathers, the one I choose for my children is not one of them. He has priorities elsewhere and doesn't focus on our kids or their academics at all. His focus from the day I left him has been to take the kids, by any means necessary. Fortunately, people see his lies and intentions and it has not happened. I'm understand that by putting my life out so publicly, I am setting myself up to be judged, but the details are unknown to you and I do not blame you for your comment. The kids were eager to move, they wanted a new life.

[wife and mom]

How do I start my own thread?

[Perfect Life]

go to the top of the page. click on the forum tab under the eNotAlone logo. When the next screen loads, on the right there is a long blue oval that says + Post New Thread

[Perfect Life]

Well, I wanted to update on my original thread as I have received so much support from all you kind souls. Today makes one month post break up, and prior to today, I was 12 days no contact. So, here's the update...

 

I still hurt at times. Sometimes, the tears are uncontrollable. Yesterday, my daughter and he talked. He said he still cries at times, but he doesn't know if he will see us again. I'm sure he is just being nice to her by saying that. They talked a bit about his dog, which she loves and about our fun weekend.

Today I thanked him for not ignoring her call, as he ignored mine when I was trying to talk to him. I sent him a message today, where I told him that I understood the logical reason behind the break up. It's 2700 miles and with his job and my child custody issues who knows when we'd see each other again or if we could keep the relationship going long enough to figure something out.

So I guess this is how it is. I told him that I was still not ok and that I wanted to know he was reading my messages and not just deleting them. But no answer.

I consulted on ENA about possible meeting people online and going out on a few dates, maybe just to clear my head and help get him off my mind, but you all advised against that. Yes, I am definitely not ready for anyone else right now. I guess this is just an update. I have come to terms with it ending and I see why it had to happen. I hate how he did it and I hate that I wasn't a part of the decision. But in the end, I try to stay positive and keep busy.

 

It helps tremendously to be able to type it out and even to try to assist others who are going through similar issues. Life gets in the way of happiness and it also produces the best happiness. Gotta take the good with the bad. I am a firm believer in karma, fate and destiny. Mine awaits me...