The Firestar Posted September 9, 2014 Share Posted September 9, 2014 Last night myself and my best friend had an argument on Facebook and she removed me from her friends list. I'm trying to apologise but she won't have it. What do I do? Link to comment
mhowe Posted September 9, 2014 Share Posted September 9, 2014 What was the argument about? Link to comment
The Firestar Posted September 9, 2014 Author Share Posted September 9, 2014 It was over her not being a good enough friend Link to comment
t1lersm0m1 Posted September 9, 2014 Share Posted September 9, 2014 There's nothing you can do. If you feel you were in the wrong, then you apologize. If they won't accept the apology, you move on. Groveling serves no one. Link to comment
The Firestar Posted September 9, 2014 Author Share Posted September 9, 2014 Both of us were in the wrong Link to comment
t1lersm0m1 Posted September 9, 2014 Share Posted September 9, 2014 Doesn't matter. You aplogized, she won't speak to you and removed you as a friend. All you can do is give her space. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted September 9, 2014 Share Posted September 9, 2014 Anyone who won't accept your apology isn't really your best friend. Link to comment
mhowe Posted September 9, 2014 Share Posted September 9, 2014 You have been pushing her and telling her she isn't a "good enough" friend because she doesn't want to spend more time with you or vacation with you. She is 30 yrs older than you ----- and you have pushed your "friendship" to the point of obsession. It is time to start cultivating friendships with people your own age and sexual orientation. Link to comment
The Firestar Posted September 9, 2014 Author Share Posted September 9, 2014 I still want to be friends but I find her behaviour over the top Link to comment
t1lersm0m1 Posted September 9, 2014 Share Posted September 9, 2014 Oh, this is the best friend you are in love with, who you aren't sure is a lesbian or bi? You really need to leave this woman alone. She has given you every indication she does not want the type of friendship you do. End of story. Link to comment
The Firestar Posted September 9, 2014 Author Share Posted September 9, 2014 I can't as we're meant to be best friends Link to comment
mhowe Posted September 9, 2014 Share Posted September 9, 2014 I can't as we're meant to be best friends Clearly, you are not meant to be best friends. She has "resigned" from the friendship. Link to comment
t1lersm0m1 Posted September 9, 2014 Share Posted September 9, 2014 Listen, this is a crock. You need to leave this woman alone. If you treat her the way you act here, she will press charges for harassment. I can't as we're meant to be best friends Link to comment
bulletproof Posted September 9, 2014 Share Posted September 9, 2014 I can't as we're meant to be best friends Who decided this? There is no "meant to be." She has a choice about who to be friends with, and she has made that choice. Leave her alone. Link to comment
abitbroken Posted September 9, 2014 Share Posted September 9, 2014 I still want to be friends but I find her behaviour over the top She is acting that way because she gave you many chances to listen and you would not. You wanted to go on vacation with her and she said no. You want to spend more time with her and she said no. How much more does she have to tell you that she doesn't want to be your best friend - that she is only casual friends with you before you listen? Apparently, she is at the end of her rope and instead of just being casual friends, she doesn't want to be your friend at all now because you blew it. You were way too intense for such a short friendship. I told you before - you CANNOT be friends with someone you are strongly attracted to. It is not a fair friendship. Also, she could have been creeped out that you wanted to go on vacation with her if she senses you are attracted to her. Link to comment
The Firestar Posted September 10, 2014 Author Share Posted September 10, 2014 I didn't mess it up. IT WAS HER Link to comment
t1lersm0m1 Posted September 10, 2014 Share Posted September 10, 2014 No, it was YOU. Leave her alone. Link to comment
mhowe Posted September 10, 2014 Share Posted September 10, 2014 I didn't mess it up. IT WAS HER It was you, but it doesn't matter. It is over. Link to comment
abitbroken Posted September 10, 2014 Share Posted September 10, 2014 I didn't mess it up. IT WAS HER How did she mess it up? Can you explain that to us? Link to comment
The Firestar Posted September 12, 2014 Author Share Posted September 12, 2014 She treated me unfairly, which upset me Link to comment
mhowe Posted September 12, 2014 Share Posted September 12, 2014 It is all water under the bridge. The friendship has expired. Link to comment
The Firestar Posted September 12, 2014 Author Share Posted September 12, 2014 I'll do everything to get her back Link to comment
abitbroken Posted September 12, 2014 Share Posted September 12, 2014 She treated me unfairly, which upset me That does not answer my question. How did she treat you unfairly? Is it really fair to expect a straight friend 30 years older than you to react in the exact way you want her to? (expect her to be super attracted to you and want to be with you?) Link to comment
mhowe Posted September 12, 2014 Share Posted September 12, 2014 I'll do everything to get her back There is nothing you can do. In fact, the more you push ---- the more she will avoid you. It was your pushing that sent her away. Link to comment
Strider58 Posted September 14, 2014 Share Posted September 14, 2014 Sounds somewhat familiar to a situation I was in, except I'm the older one and we are guys. I'm going to say a few things here that may be offending, so don't take it personal as I'm only sharing my two cents. First, this is not American cinema, forget those thoughts of "We are meant to be together somehow, everything works out in the end." In reality it doesn't. People just come and go and with the guy in my situation, it took me a while (and still in the process) to accept it. You can look at my posts, but I was in the same boat as you. Feelings got stronger, always wanted to talk to him, be with him, etc...but I was blind to realize he didn't reciprocate, neither as both wanting to be a lover/close friend. I kept denying that he didn't feel the same about me, and now we act like we never met. I say to a certain degree we are both at fault, but it was me who damaged things worse. Trying to push things that made him feel uncomfortable only moved him away further. It was a selfish and immature act on my part. He would not be open about his feelings and opinions, until it got to the point where he just lashed out and said he had it. I now see this as a blessing in disguise, because it shows me that there are plenty of other people to get to know, and I can start on clean slates with them. If feelings of infatuation/love start to develop, then I'll figure out more easily how not to screw things up completely. Let this be a live and learn lesson. After this friend ditched me, I did not send a single message to him since. Was I feeling upset? Of course, but then I continued to just be myself otherwise and appreciated what I already have. As for him, it's been over three weeks since our falling out. He removed me on FB right away. Few days later I post something on twitter unrelated to him and he stopped following me. Two weeks later I posted something on instagram unrelated to him and he blocked me. So he has pretty much blacklisted me and is clearly not going to be over this anytime soon, which is why I am just giving him space. I don't know if he will ever come around, but it shows he was never meant to be even the friend I thought he was. I will be the bigger person should we ever cross paths and talk in a civil manner, the rest is on him. Enough of me rambling, in a nutshell, don't waste your time achieving what's most likely impossible. Link to comment
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