14-years-old girl, dating a 16-years-old guy I met at a big karaoke party

[ChloeU]

I am a 14-years-old girl.

 

I am dating a 16-years-old guy. We met at this big karaoke party my friend held where we could invite anyone we wanted. We didn't see each other since because we live on opposite sides of the metropolitan. He asked me out over iMessages and I said yes. He's the first to every call me hot; the first to ever ask me out. I am in love with the idea of love and I won't deny it. I've been unable to find fulfilment because I've always wanted a date. Before you jump to conclusions, I'm not one of the teen girls who daydream about the impossibly beautiful life they'll automatically have when they find a date. I'm not expecting too much out of this relationship - I just kinda wanted to see how this would go. I'm being cautious with personally details - I keep everything he doesn't need to know away from him. My address, the school I go to etc. I said yes because I really wanted a date and there's really nothing I can lose by doing so.

 

What should I do next? Any suggestions would be most welcome.

[notalady]

My only advice is don't have sex with him no matter what. No excuses, not even for "love", just no, full stop.

 

Otherwise, have fun, enjoy the date

[Snny]

He asked me out over iMessages and I said yes.

Why couldn't he make it more personal by asking you out in person? What is it with teenage boys who don't know how to socialize properly without a screen in front of them?

 

I also agree with the above poster on sex. I knew two 14 year olds who became pregnant during their 8th grade year. Don't throw your future away for sex with someone who can't promise you marriage.

[Jennifer89]

My only advice is don't have sex with him no matter what. No excuses, not even for "love", just no, full stop.

 

Otherwise, have fun, enjoy the date

 

Did you know that studies have shown that teenagers are way less likely to have sex on the first date then adults? They see sex as a much "bigger" thing (no pun intended). They want to have sex with the RIGHT person. Even most of the ladies on 16 and Pregnant view sex in a much more "responsible" way then I do, they just don't use protection (oops) or have a condom break (seriosly, I've never had a condom break. How does the "condom break" on everyone else? Haha).

 

OP, just have a good time. Maybe thing of some easy conversation topics. Ask him about himself, everyone loves talking about themselves. Bring money for yourself in case he doesn't plan to pay. Offer to pay for something, even if it's just a tip. Be nice. Don't expect anything out of it, like a kiss, just let that happen if it happens! Don't over think it. Just go out and have a good time.

[LostInMyThoughts]

Why couldn't he make it more personal by asking you out in person? What is it with teenage boys who don't know how to socialize properly without a screen in front of them?

 

Communication has changed.

 

In his defense, he asked in iMessage, and she said yes, so it worked

 

+1 for the enjoy the date.

[abitbroken]

Honestly, I think he is a little too old for you and I would only see him in a group setting. You are in 8th grade, right? Or are you going into 9th grade and turning 15 this year. Is he 16 going on 17 or just turned 16? He might be starting his junior year. I would just go out as friends and do karoake and don't get serious. Go where you will have other friends with you so you get to know him and aren't alone yet. I may be an old fuddyduddy, but if you are not the age where you can drive yet, it leaves you a bit vulnerable to be stuck somewhere if the situation becomes uncomfortable (you are stranded with a creep because parents dropped you off, etc.) and you cant leave when you want to. When you are 16, you can decide to date if your parent think you are of age, but for now I would be careful with older boys.

 

btw. do you KNOW he is actually 16 and not 18? And does he know you are only 14?

[Wizardwoman]

My mother didn't even let me date till I was 16. But see where it goes, and like the other posters said, don't have sex with him. 14 is way too young to have sex so wait at least a few years.