I cant move on

[sadeyes]

I cant seem to get over my ex-boyfriend, and it has been quite a while. I really want to contact him, but i dont know if he would give me the time of day. I really miss him...I find myself comparing all of my boyfriends to him! I even have dreams about him!! I told him when we broke up that maybe we could get back together in college. Well, we are in college now and i would like to give it another try.

 

Im not sure if this is the right thing to do though. Last time we were together he broke my heart. I would like to give him another chance, but i still dont know if he has changed.

 

I feel like a part of me is missing. Nothing has been the same since we stopped talking. I dont know if i am wasting my time...do cheaters change? How can i find out if he still loves me? If i end up contacting him, i want to be sure that he wants me back in his life. Is there a safe way to go about this??

[Andy223]

What you have to ask yourself is, how long ago did you two break up? If it was a short time ago, then there are most likley feelings still there between you. But if u break up with some1 for a long time, those feelings fade away. Those feelings (even if you still have them) will be harder to bring back than when you two first asked eachother out.

Recently, ive had a similar problem with a girl. I found that the longer we split up, the easier it became for me to get over her. If you still wish to get back together with him, act on it sooner rather than later... otherwise you two will forget about eachother.

You said that you would like to give him another chance. If you feel for him that much, and would like another chance with him, then you should give it a go one last time. However, do not forget when he broke your heart the first time, the likleyhood is, he may do it again. The wise "forgive" but do not "forget", the naive forgive and forget.

You should begin ingaging in conversation with him... dont start off big, just say hi and let him know you are there at first. This will play on his mind and he will be thinking about you, even when his mind is devoted to a different task. If he replys back... great. Start slow and small, do not rush, rushing can be off putting to some guys, especially in the fragile situation, which you have described.

Cheaters only change, if they cheat once and then do not cheat again. If they do it more than once then it is in their nature to cheat. Cheaters may seem nice for 2 weeks, but will get complacent and start messing around again. I've seen it before. Cheating is basically, imature behavour that people do grow out of "eventually". By which time it is probablly too late.

The safe way to go about this, is to take it slow... But if you 2 do get back together, be aware! dont think he will never cheat on you again even if you 2 are having the time of your life.

U also have to realise that there are other guys out there who will make you feel great about yourself and will not cheat on you. You can give these guys a chance too, dont feel as if you have to be souly bounded to one person.

I hope ive helped to clear some things up, but these are my opinions, they may or may not help. How you go about all this, is really up to you

[kimmie61788]

YOu know i was exactlly in your place.other tthen i lost my virginity to this guy..i was in love with him. I gave him soo many chances and it seems as if all he didnt change..i would do the same thing you would do.. The best advice i have to give u is to move onn and get away from him. Because all he is going to bring u is heartache and pain. There are plenly of other guys out there. Know that your both in college hes goin to want to have a party life. Just follow your heart and it will decide it. YOu just gotta love your self and think if about what will happen if he keeps doing what he did. Are you going to take it and let him treat you this way. I know you dont want to hear this.. but its the truth im sry...i went through it i know! You just gotta get away from this guy.

 

good luck...

[annie24]

If you want to see if there's still a chance, I would recommend leaving a message on his home phone when you know he isn't there. It should be light like, "Hi - Just wanted to catch up and see how things are going. Talk to you later!" If he doesn't call you back, then move on. If he does call, just keep things light, don't bring up the relationship, and don't talk for more than 10-20 minutes. Talk about what you did for Xmas, New Years, what movies you saw ... Basically, just reopen the doors. Since he's the one who broke your heart, be cautious. Don't give him the opportunity to do it again. If he wants to try to get back together, he'll let you know, and he'll say something like, "I really messed up - can we try again?" If he says something like, "Oh, wanna see that movie?" then maybe he only wants to be friends. If he still likes you, he'll tell you. Good luck!!!