Bad feeling follow up.

[Josh G.]

Ok heres a follow up to my last post,

 

link removed

 

Ok, well today, so far she hasnt dumped me, but she is still acting different, I realise this is a unhealthy relationship, so either tonight or tomorrow night I think it would be best for both of us if I did it, well im planning on kinda giving her an option, Im just going to say, do you think me and you were better as just friends?, and play it by ear form there, if she starts backing out, theres no way i can say its over for sure, Im still dead crazy about this girl, but I dont think she is too happy in the relationship, so if she agrres, Ill be very sad, but hey, not much I can do, its better in the long run for both of us, but if she doesnt aree, then Im not going to push it, and tell her we need to work on it. Thanks for listening, got any advice?

[annie24]

Hi Josh - Tell her what you told us - that you really like her, but she doesn't seem happy in this relationship, ask her what's on her mind, and what would improve things. She may be acting weird due to something that has absolutely nothing to do with you (family problems). Just talk to her about things - you're in this relationship too, you have a right to know what's going on. Take care.

[kalshane]

I gotta hand it to you, you have a very mature outlook on all of this and it will always help you in the long run with women. There's not much advice that I can give, it sounds like you already have a good plan. I just hope that she uses this opportunity to be honest with you, and I mean completely honest. Go ahead and take the initiative and see what happens. I wish you the best.

[sbrew21]

sometimes its easier to back off for a little bit too. Give her space, and let her think about things. Trust me, us girls are always over analyzing everything so its definitely on her mind and if you leave her be for a couple days maybe she will come around.

 

you can't let her get to you. You are so young and you are going to meet so many more people in your life. Its crazy when you think about it.

 

If you really feel like you need a decision to be made then I would approach her and let her know how you feel about the sitation and see what she says.

 

why is she unhappy anyway?

[sayer7]

I think it's so refreshing to see someone so willing to put themselves in their partner's shoes to assess how they must be feeling... to be willing to realize maybe they aren't as happy in the relationship as they claim-- and to be willing to openly discuss the issue and set them free if they aren't happy.

 

I think you are right to bring up the issue and discuss it. You're very mature and compassionate.

[Josh G.]

Hey thanks guys, I was wondering, if i did say something like, I really like you alot, but you dont seem happy, wouldnt it just make things more akward if we decided to be friends, her knowing that I still like her? Today, I was kinda backing off a bit, Wasnt paying as much attention to her, wasnt talking as much, at the end of the day, I just said, Ill see you later and I left, I didnt walk her to her locker, So she is probally sensing something about that, Its not that I meant to, but just how she is acting different makes me feel hurt, I cant believe it, she seems so perfect for me, we have lots in common, I think this would be a great relationship if it was in a couple years outta highschool, I think i found the right girl too early

[Josh G.]

Hey sorry guys, I dont like asking for a quick reply, But I was hoping to get some feedback on my last post here, Cuz Im praying for her to say she doesnt want to break up, and I need some more comments so I can get a good idea how to handle this very well, sorry again, but thanks.

[traz]

I think reassuring her that you like her may be a good idea...if she wants to break up, then I don't think it'll matter, as she probably knows that you like her.

 

But, if she's feeling at all insecure, then it may help her get over her current downness.

[gersanos]

Hey Josh, sorry that you are going through this right now. I can completely empathize with your story.

 

Half a year ago me and my ex broke up, and it was similar in respects to what your going through. We fought for a couple of days on and off and things went sour from there. We tried to talk about it, and make it work, but she did tell me that she was not happy. I asked her what it is and what I can do about it, but she said she doesn't know what it is. Is this generally true? When something does not feel right, but you don't know exactly what it is or where it stems from? She said that she felt like we are going to just be fighting from here on out, and she had dreams of us fighting.

 

I tried it all. I asked her if she needs some space, and she said no. I asked her if she needs some more time to cool off after our fight and us be separated for a while, and she said no, and that I'm starting to "weird her out." I remained patient and just held my tongue, but things just got worse with her. I think she really wanted me to break up with her, to do her dirty work, but I would not, I wanted to work this out. The more I tried to work on it, the more she pulled away it seemed. In the end I was so fed up after 2 weeks that I said lets take a break, and made it clear that I don't want to break-up, that I want us to have some time apart. She told me that I'm "forcing it" but that space is fine, but then 2 days later she breaks up with me.

 

The break up was ok in that I was prepared for it. I knew it was coming in a sense. But I was not going to break up with her. I felt like she wanted to manipulate me to do it so she's not the bad guy and/or get back at some future time when we've been apart for a while and if she doesn't find the grass to be greener. I just let her say her piece, and I asked a few questions, and it was respectable for the most part. Only thing was she wanted to stay good friends, told me that I'm her best friend, but I said no that it's over, and she threw a tantrum like I've never seen before. I don't know what her motives were, but I was unable to just be friends. She told me that we're different, that we're not the typical exes, that our relationship was really healthy, etc. I could not make a thing of it all.

 

We never spoke since then. We go to school together and she always looks at me when I'm nearby, but that's it. I've gotten over her for the most part, don't love her anymore, but naturally still care about her. I too thought that this was the right person at the wrong time. Who knows.

 

Since then, I've learned a great deal about myself, her, and relationships. We may get back together one day in the future, or our relationship may just have been a stepping stone, or practice, for the next great one that I (and she) will be in.

 

Hang in there Josh. Right now it seems like your prepared for the worst, which is good in a way. Your expectations are not that high. Who knows, this may just all blow over, but if it doesn't, then you were prepared for it, which does make it somewhat easier then just getting smacked in the face with it. Hang in there and keep us posted.

[Josh G.]

well, i thoguht id keep you guys posted incase your interested, Today was a total surprise, nothing happened that I was planning, first, I get to school, i was walking around the corner, and I saw some guy hit his gf, so I went up said " Oh, you must think your a tough guy, hitting a girl" well in about 30 seconds that led to a fistfight, He took the first swing, gave me a black eye, I "scrapped" him (i dont appreciate or have tolerance for violence against woman), then I left so i didnt get caught (the kid didnt even go to my school, he wasnt in a uniform) so I went and saw my gf, she asked what happened, I told her, and she was acting kinda...proud, so we were talking, and things were going great, we spent some time together, And I was still planning on confronting her about the above posts, so when we went to class together, and as soon as we got there, one of our friends was like, You guys are still going out right? you guys make such a cute couple, and she said yes, kinda exitedly, so I was thinking, uuugghhh, what the..... so then me and her sat together, we were really close, touching, and me and her were taking, and it was really good, the way it should be, and then we were talking how tomorrow will be our 3rd month anniversary, so I just got the vibe, that maybe something was wrong before, And I decided, to forget abotu everything. when we were talking, I made sure i said, me and you have to go do something some time, I said, next wekend were definatly goin out, she said yes (me and her havnt gone out since we've been a couple, just dates before we were, which was bothering me), but things went aweosme so far, so Im just going too see how things go in the future, thanks for helping me out with this one!!! IM not sure what made her snap back to normal, but Im happy she did!!

[traz]

I"m really happy for your Josh, GL

[sbrew21]

sometimes us girls just need our space. I think its good you didn't say anything to her. Good Luck!

[twizod]

So you gonna include a black eye on your photo now

[Josh G.]

image removed

 

Lol, Ok, my bro took a pic of me when I was working on my car, Atleast there is no more swelling and I can open my eye.

[sbrew21]

that's hot

- paris hilton

[Hope75]

LOL,

 

Good job Josh! Your chivalry truly won over your lady!

 

Keep up the good work!

 

(and put a steak on your eye, LOL! )