Oral sex (giving and receiving)

[shygirl23]

Things between my boyfriend and I have been steadily progressing. We've progressed to oral. Since I don't want to have intercourse yet, this is about the best alternative that I can offer. I don't mind giving him oral, I love doing something that gives him pleasure. I was really insecure about it at first, but I guess practice makes perfect. I've given him oral 5 or 6 times in the past few weeks since we started and I think it's been a little better each time.

 

Anyway, he told me at the very beginning that he wouldn't mind returning the favor. I think that such a guy is pretty hard to come by. He's mentioned it several times since then and it seems as though he wants to do it. I asked him if he ever had before and he said that he's only done it once and the girl that he was with was still wearing panties. He's had sex before, so I'm sure that he knows some of what to expect, but I'm still concerned.

 

I'm sure that it is much more pleasant for girls to go down on guys than the other way around. I honesty never expected him to want to do this. I tried to warn him that it probably wouldn't be that pleasant, but he said that he didn't care what it was like if it made me happy (plus, he's bound and determined to give me an orgasm). I'm still worried though. Even I'm disgusted by my lubrication; I certainly wouldn't want it in my mouth. Even immediately after a shower, if I get turned on, things are going to get wet and messy, and (as embarrassing as it is), I doubt that all those fluids really smell (or taste) that great.

 

I'm afraid that I'll be embarrassed and he'll be disgusted. What do guys really think about that?

[Jeffie]

He sounds like he knows "what he is getting into" and if he doesnt have a problem with it. then great thats better for you. He might be the same way that you are, enjoying doing something pleasing for you.

 

If he wants to do it i'd let him and not worrie to much about it.

[Beec]

I think you are worried about something you probably should not be worried about. I don't think I am the only guy in the world that gets turned on by the taste of his woman and by going down on her. I don't perform oral sex just to make her feel good, I do it because I really want to. Hopefully he does too. I feel the same way about my equipment as you do about yours, but enjoy the fact that my gf sometimes wants to go down on me.

 

Just try to make sure you are clean when he goes down. If I have ever been put off by anything it was soemthing that could have been remvoed with a little cleaning.

 

What should he do if he is put off by you? Keep his mouth shut about it and not offer in the future.

[sephoraX]

i used to feel the same way about it. i was afraid to let my boyfriend go down on me. but i let him and i think he liked it more than i did. lol. guys usually like the smell and the taste. oral is something you should not deprive yourself from. it feels great it its the only way some women can orgasm. BUT---make SURE you let him know thestatus....let him know whats good and bad while he's down there. always always always give input. boys do not like to just hang out down there and wait on something to happen

[lawchic]

I agree with everyone else. A lot of guys really enjoy doing it, really enjoy making you feel good. He wouldn't do it if he didn't want to do it.

[hockeyboy]

I think that such a guy is pretty hard to come by

 

simply not true

[dreamweaverdude]

Shygirl,

 

If he is willing to please you in this way, he knows what he is doing...... enjoy it...... relax............. some guys like me enjoy pleasing in this way.... to me it is almost the perfect way to please.

 

Good luck

[shygirl23]

I didn't mean to misjudge you guys.

 

Is there anything that I should do beforehand (if we decided to do this)? Showering, of course. Should I put some towels on the bed? Wear a certain type of underwear? Is it okay to turn out some of the lights?

[Beec]

Just shower. Nothing else needed.

[Kbelles]

dont be afraid of your 'womanly juices'. its natural and if he doesnt have a problem with it then why should you? (this is what i tell myself also). guys have a tendency to be more forgiving about our bodies than we are. especially in the heat of the moment when they're all into you and turned on.

 

as for pre-oral preparation, everyone is different but besides doing a simple bath or shower use some good-smelling bath products and you should be good to go. theres nothing you can do about the way you taste (besides changing your diet) so you might as well at least smell good down there.

[Angelus]

Man look here, ya'll make me want give my girl oral now ya know!

 

I love giving oral to my boo it's the most amazing....whoa! it's awesome!

 

I can't think of reason why guys don't love doing it, it's like man i'm really trying to find the words here guys trust me i am. But u know what, I'll tell my g/f to thank each and everyone of you cause tonight, she gon get it.

 

But yeah i love giving oral to my g/f

[Beec]

dont be afraid of your 'womanly juices'. its natural and if he doesnt have a problem with it then why should you? (this is what i tell myself also).

 

Not to be afraid of your own stuff is good advice. If he likes going down and wants to do so, he's probably not going to mind your stuff. I don't mind a woman's juices.

 

Of course, some guys may have an issue when you are having your period, but that's a different story.

[nikkiagerba]

HUN..i used to think this would be disqusting, and i havne't still done it yet, but omg guys like it and YOU WILLL LOVE IT.. i have a friend who was orignially disqusted by the thought of it , but she lked it so much. You kno fingering, if you like that, you will die for this! I meeannnnnn...it's betta gettin an "orgasm" feeling from THE GUY, then giving tht feeling to the guy

[clodhopper]

Agreed - if you enjoy fingering, you'll die for oral! It's amazing. I was a little apprehensive before I ever received it, but once I did... mmmm... hahaha and my guy was literally addicted to it. We talked about it once and he said he never did it if he didn't want to (and he did it ALL the time!) and that me being turned on made him turned on. Trust me, guys love it and I'm sure your guy knows what he's doing. Don't worry so much about your taste/smell and preparing for it... just go for it!

[Jimbo10]

You shouldn't think that he's the only one who can get pleasure out of oral. Does anyone know when people started thinking oral wasn't intimate anymore? I mean, you should let him, you might enjoy it more than you can imagine

 

Hint You might want to trim or shave down below so he doesn't come up for air with a mouth full of pubic hair.

[Esprit]

I agree with everyone --- Alot of guys really love it. Whenever my guy gives me oral, he gives me a big smile afterwards and says "Thank you".

Hehe. Don't worry about it, like you said, he's going to know what to expect (being experienced).

 

Enjoy

[Luciana]

Reading this thread makes me sad.

I also only orgasm through oral or manual stimulation. Intercourse is pleasant but is meant to give the GUY an orgasm, not me.

I am engaged to a man who has a serious hangup about it.

In 6 years together I have pleaded with him and only got it about 5 or 6 times. He won't tell me why he doesn't want to do it. I promised to be squeaky clean (right after a shower, which kills spontaneity) before we do it. Still nothing.

I have serious doubts if I should go on with this wedding knowing he has such a problem with OS. I love him and don't want to lose him, but I ask myself if I can live the rest of my life without OS, and if I won't be inclined to cheat to get it (If I refused to give my husband/BF OS I wouldn't be surprised if he cheated on me).

 

So it's very hard. I had a clue he had a problem with this in the very beginning, but I chose to close my eyes. It was a red flag when he had phone S the first time and he never mentioned going down on me. The othe red flag was our first and second time having S and he didn't try either. I remember asking him why the second time around and he said: "I never do this with someone I don't know well". I knew it was BS because if you french kiss you give oral too.

 

I now know, after all the cajoling, talks and suggestions that he will never change. So I now ask since he won't change, should I change (the fiance) before we wed?

[RayKay]

I now know, after all the cajoling, talks and suggestions that he will never change. So I now ask since he won't change, should I change (the fiance) before we wed?

 

Wow, Luciana, reading your thread made me sad! Not just because of the issue, but the way you wrote it/presented it was clearly written with a lot of emotion and frustration too.

 

Well, I don't have to really ask is this is a major issue for you, because it is pretty clear it is. Now it is a question of whether you can live in this manner forever..it is apparent you have also asked him why, tried to make him more comfortable with it, and he just WON'T. This would be a big issue for me too, not even opening up to tell me why he does not like it, or suggest ways to make it more comfortable for him...

 

Does he try to manually stimulate you to have O's, or is it more about him being selfish in this manner. I am able to O through intercourse too, but man, if I was not getting oral I would have problems as that is a different sensation, different fun and enjoyable and great foreplay for me.

 

Sex is not everything, but for it IS very important and for many couples it is what keeps them closer or drives them further.

 

I can't tell you what to do, but I would definitely myself be wondering if this was the right relationship for me, especially when he expects satisfaction for himself but cannot return the favour...that would just hurt!

[Beec]

Not good news Luciana, but I am not about to advise you on making a choice.

 

But maybe you could try one more different tactic. You mention you used "cajoling, talks and suggestions" to try and get it. But instead of just trying to get him to do it, maybe you could try and make him want to do it. Put the idea in his head that it turns him on, and see if it changes his mind about it.

 

Does this make sense?

 

As an unrelated example, if a woman wanted me to wear something that I did not want to wear, she'd be better off talking about another guy looking good in one than asking me again.

 

So maybe he overhears you talking to someone about a vivid dream in which an anonymous man goes down on you. Or maybe you play dominatrix for a night and order him down. Try different things to get in his head, to make him want what you want, instead of jsut surrendering to your will.

[Luciana]

I have tried the "positive reinforcement" technique. The very few times he did that he did it well. I know, what a joke! He knows how to do it he just doesn't like it.

He also hates to French kiss. Used to do it in the beginning of our relationship and now turns his mouth away if I try to kiss him more passionately. He also doens't like to touch my V, as if he was touching a horrible place that would bite his hand He is not into my body much although he tells me I am beautiful from time to time. When I accused him of not being turned on by me anymore he said he is, that is very attracted to me....but I am not sure. I have been with other men of course and I know when a man is really into you.

The few times I got it was after a lot of begging..and boy, that takes so mcuh energy that you don't want to go over that again all the time.

At the age of 46, I think he's a lost case.

[Beec]

Well, I was not talking about postivie reinforcement, but it also sounds like he has some hangups with all you mention. I know some guys don't like it, although they are stupid and crazy, imo, for feeling that way.

 

I was suggesting that you try to seduce him into the idea, make him want to do it. Say you let him read or hear you talking about a "dream" you had, where he ends up going down on you. You could spell it out as if were a work of erotic fiction. Maybe he finds the story in a diary, hidden elsewhere or overhears you telling someone. It could be one in which you are submisive, dominant, or whatever. Implant the idea and sell it as something erotic, and he, or some other guy, might come around to want to do it. But don't make it seems as if it is made to get him to do it. This is what I was suggesting.

 

If he hates to french kiss even, I think he probably is incurable at the age of 46.