Flyer79 Posted August 21, 2014 Share Posted August 21, 2014 So today is 30 days of no contact. I really thought he would reach out and see how I was doing, but to be honest, I haven't been doing all that well. I will have a good day, then have crappy days. But I am keeping myself extremely busy, started a new course to study so at least I have that to focus on, plus work, etc etc. I even gave a guy my number on a dating site after we had been chatting for quite some time, but I am in no way ready for any of that type of thing just yet. I thought I was, but I am not. I just compare the ex to these people. Anyway just thought I would share this, as I know some of you probably are struggling with NC. You can do it. If I can, anyone can I just cannot somehow fathom how I can move on from this, it took me 5 years to find someone who I felt a connection with and who I thought would be a good long term prospect. I feel like my time and options are running out at 35, especially seeing as I would like to have a child. Link to comment
star554 Posted August 21, 2014 Share Posted August 21, 2014 Congratulations! It looks like you're making good progress... Keep it up And don't worry, good things will definitely happen in time. Link to comment
Flyer79 Posted August 21, 2014 Author Share Posted August 21, 2014 Thank you Star. I know it will all happen in time, but I feel like I wasted 5 years since my last long term relationship just floating and hoping it would come to me, and when it did, it didn't work out I just need a new approach I guess.. Link to comment
star554 Posted August 21, 2014 Share Posted August 21, 2014 I get it - that definitely is a tough pill to swallow. But I think that any longterm relationship that didn't work out makes you feel like that People tell me, "oh you've grown up so much because of this relationship". I don't buy it. I think I could've grown up just the same without it! But if nothing else, the least I can say is I did learn SOMETHING from the relationship - some things about myself, other "what-not-to-do-in-the-future". Maybe it's the naive inexperienced romantic in me, but I'd LIKE to believe that when the "right" person shows up - the kind of person it's easy to be with even in the not-so-easy times, then that relationship will last. I think my approach is just that - work on the things I have control over, namely myself. And hopefully, good things will happen All the best to you! Link to comment
SpottiOtti Posted August 21, 2014 Share Posted August 21, 2014 Good for you, OP. One of the things about breakups (one of the only things) that doesn't suck is that they usually remind us just how strong and resilient we really are. Wish you the best during the next 30 days, and the next and the next. Only up from here! Link to comment
Flyer79 Posted August 21, 2014 Author Share Posted August 21, 2014 Good for you, OP. One of the things about breakups (one of the only things) that doesn't suck is that they usually remind us just how strong and resilient we really are. Wish you the best during the next 30 days, and the next and the next. Only up from here! Certainly does. I was actually going to contact him this weekend to arrange getting our items from each others houses. But I don't think I will just yet, at the moment it will only put me a step back with my healing. Link to comment
janut1 Posted August 21, 2014 Share Posted August 21, 2014 Congratulations on your 30 days of NC!!! I know how you feel and you will still have good and bad days, but keeping busy helps. I am still going through it all after a 19 month relationship and 2 months 3 weeks NC. My X left me the same way. Loved me one day and left me the next. But the good thing is it could of been worse. I keep thinking about how I saw our future together and with the issues that were starting to become more obvious to me, after taking off the rose colored glasses, we probably would not have lasted too much longer anyway. So its for the best even though I still love and miss him a lot. I'm also on the dating sites and went on a date last week, but unfortunately he was not at all what I am looking for. I am proud of myself that I actually went though because it was a good experience. I'm not sure I will do that again any time soon though. Link to comment
GenoGeno Posted August 21, 2014 Share Posted August 21, 2014 One month for me as well! She reached out once and I ignored it. Wasn't what I wanted to hear haha. Congreats though, let's keep it going and stay strong! Link to comment
Flyer79 Posted August 22, 2014 Author Share Posted August 22, 2014 Thanks everyone, we are all doing well here arn't we! Today I am feeling really positive, for once in a while. I feel like things are some what back in control with my life. I walked down the street last night making eye contact with people, and smiling and waving to those I knew, I didn't just put my head down and hope that no one spoke to me! That is something! Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted August 22, 2014 Share Posted August 22, 2014 I just cannot somehow fathom how I can move on from this, it took me 5 years to find someone who I felt a connection with and who I thought would be a good long term prospect. I feel like my time and options are running out at 35, especially seeing as I would like to have a child. I think you have a great opportunity to learn from this situation. Connection is not enough. He was still married, going through a divorce. No way he was emotionally available ... and that soon became clear. Link to comment
Flyer79 Posted August 22, 2014 Author Share Posted August 22, 2014 I am beginning now to see that it was all a learning experience yeah. But I think I am going to come out of this a better/improved person. I can see good changes already in myself Link to comment
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