Girlfriend of 4 yrs left me for someone else, LOVE/REBOUND/GIGS???? ADVI

[Moeconfused]

My long distance girlfriend of four years broke u with me 5 weeks ago 2 days after i flew to Baltimore to be with her in a wedding after i flew back to Atlanta and she went to stay a week with her parents in jersey before going back home in florida, Suddenly communication was very rare for three days than the following day she called me and said we needed to break up for good and she sounded very adamant saying that we were going nowhere. Only to find out two days later that she had met a guy their days ago through a friend,

 

she said they instantly hit it off and spent the following next five days together the entire time and he already introduced her to his parents and vice versa saying they had instant chemistry and she told him about me and the wedding and he said that he didn't want to waste his time so she needs break up with me.I did all the wrong things by chasing her and begging.

 

Fast forward 3 weeks, than last week she began blowing up my phone saying that she was confused and upset that she ruined our relationship but was still with the guy and wanted to see where it goes but that she feels heartbroken and not sure if she made the right decision, I responded with that she had to lay in the bed shes made but that I still love her and idk if we could fix this. She kept calling and saying that if we lived together it would work out and that her family and friends knew we were truly in love. I told her we shouldnt talk bc she is still seeing someone else.

 

Fast forward three days, I broke no contact and she told me I shouldnt talk to her because she is in love and he loves her back with this new guy after a couple week and that he recently quit his job in new York to move to Florida to be with her already and they are getting an apartment together. HIs family is rich and paying for it. I am 6 months from finishing medical school and becoming a doctor which would have allowed us to get engaged and move in together and she knows this. Her mother and best friend are really upset with her actions and keep contacting me to try and fix us and talk sense into her about moving extremely fast stating that she does not know this guy at all but she wont listen.They say this guy is tryng to sweep her off her feet and taking her out all the time and getting them an apartment. I would really appreciate some advice on what happened. She claimed that she did it because we have no future.

 

Is she trying to move fast with this guy by already meeting each others parents and starting a new relationship a day after our 4 year relationship ended and moving in together? IS THIS CONSIDERED A REBOUND?

 

COULD SHE SERIOUSLY BE IN LOVE ALREADY???

 

WHAT DOES THAT SAY ABOUT HIM MOVING TO FLORIDA AFTER A MONTH TO MOVE IN TOGETHER?? WHAT DOES IT SAY ABOUT HER??

[NotAlone21]

Hello. This is my opinion: He is a rebound whether she knows it or not. The fact is, she could not have possibly moved on so quickly. A 4 year relationship would take any human being at the very least months and months to fully heal from. Honestly, I think this guy is crazy. I, myself, just went through an experience with a new boyfriend I knew for 3 weeks and he ended up being a complete physcho path. I tried breaking up with him because I realized I couldn't give myself to him and he flipped out pretty badly...Meanwhile, the entire time I was in love with my ex who I've been apart from for a month. So I'm putting myself in her shoes (your significant other). Give her time to realize she made a mistake. Don't jump to a new girl unless you've truly let go..which you probably havent. She may love you, but regardless, her actions are messed up. She is confused. You can sympathize with her, or you can respect yourself. The choice is yours. Surely, her new great relationship will crumble. If she feels you two don't have a future together, and you truly love her. Make the changes she wants to see. You may be in two very different points in your lives.

[jjkk]

Idk, I've been in a couple of situations like this where I was dumping someone "out of nowhere" and started seeing someone else really quickly. I'm not saying this is the case w/ your relationship but from my experience this is how it went...I had been increasingly unhappy in current relationship. I was scared of hurting him, worried that maybe I was giving up a great guy for trivial reasons, etc. So I spent months being on and off in my head whether or not to end the relationship. I didn't want to bring it up to the guy until I knew I wanted to break up for sure so I kept it to myself. I mentioned things that bothered me about the relationship and they weren't taken seriously so...over several months I emotionally distanced myself to prepare to leave. I was still on the fence some of the time but knew deep down I needed to end it.

 

Finally after several months of having to accept the realization I needed to end the relationship, I did. Now the guys were blindsided. They had no idea I was considering it and I was already pretty much over them by the time I did it. I'd grieved and came to acceptance while still in the relationship. (not that I never had sad moments after the break up but most of my grieving had already happened).

 

So, yes I was in another relationship in what seemed like a short period of time but in reality, emotionally I'd left them months earlier. The first relationship which some may call "rebound" lasted over 5 years, the second was 2 years. One of my friends, married 18 years, divorced and her ex was married w/in a few months and they're still married 3+ years later. There's no way to tell how things will go w/ her relationship w/ this guy. It could be a disaster, it could be happily every after, but it'll probably be somewhere in between the two.

[3Tears]

This is the most messed up thing... I'd rather have the girl tell me to fix whatever is happening or she'll break up with me than that.

[jjkk]

It may be messed up but it's the truth of my past. I've learned from it. Reflecting back though, I realize it was more than simple things they could or would change. They were things that had been brought to their attention but just not in the context of "I'm thinking about breaking up w/ you cuz of xyz". After bringing things up several times and not having anything change, I began pulling away.

 

Anyway, I was giving an example of my past to possibly give the OP some insight into her mindset. Basically, she may have been thinking about breaking up w/ him for months and had already accepted, grieved, and felt ready to move on by the time she actually ended things with him. Idk her so I can't be sure but speaking from my own experience, that's my best guess.

[missmarple]

Does it really matter? Rebound or not, in love or not, she made the choice to leave you and your 4yo relationship. Put yourself first, try to move on and cut all contact with her. That's what I would do.

[ForeverFree81]

Sorry you are feeling this way OP. I agree with 2 of the posters above. Firstly, I agree with NO CONTACT. It really is the best. Secondly, no two relationships are normal or the same, so you cant really apply a blanket answer to every solution. Moving on depends on the individuals involved. I was single for over 18 months after leaving my abusive ex. I was with the next 2 guys for about 6-9 months each. Fast forward to now; I met my boyfriend 6 days after being dumped in a text message by my most recent ex. We are in love, and have been together 9 months and counting so the moving on time thing depends on the individuals. OP, do you want to mend your relationship with her? If yes, then try. If not, go strict NO CONTACT, change numbers and delete her from your life, and allow yourself time to heal. Best of luck.

[Moeconfused]

thx for all the advice im having a really hard time proccessing what just happened and my life being turned upside down.