I need some advice for the situation I am in.

[woahtony]

First of all I'm not really good at story telling so bare with me and if you have any questions feel free to ask me to elaborate.

 

With that being said, I have had a rough patch the last few days that started about a month after a break up with my girlfriend of 2 years. Our relationship has had a lot of ups and downs and a lot of it was my fault. As I have had a lot of growing to do as an individual, I realized how selfish I was after this break up. Now I have made lots of mistakes in my life and try to learn from them and this time I have a gut feeling that she is the one for me and I am determined to make it work. I as an adult male feel like I have a lot of improvements to make and I've already started to move in the right direction, however there was no contact for a month after the relationship ended kind of ugly and immature. I contacted her the other night as I started weeks before to realize how much of an I was and that I had this huge epiphany about how I finally took time to figure out what the hell I was doing wrong. (I usually learn the hard way )Well we have talked a few times now and she is very hesitant about me and is still very upset with how things ended. To which I have realized that it should of went a lot different. Anyway, we talk and I pour my heart out and make sure she knows how sorry I am for everything I did wrong and I tried to do my best on covering all of what I was doing to improve myself. She is a very good person and I've never met anyone like her. She doesn't play games and she is a straight shooter. I would literally do anything for her and I took it for granted for too long. Now I guess what I am getting at is... what should I do to get her back? She seems open to the idea and she said she wants to see that I've changed. The issues we had were mainly my fault because I was so immature and delusional. I suffer from anxiety and depression and for the most part it gets in the way a lot. I've contacted my doctor to get a medicine change since what I am on has stopped working, I am going to start therapy soon and I have started to work out, eat right and take time for myself and enjoy it. I am in school full-time and have been looking for work as I was in a crappy job before and left it for school. I have begun to do research on bettering yourself and I also have started to treat people better and put people before myself. I am trying to better my relationships with my friends and I have started to spend more time with my family.

 

I want to know if since I feel like she is the one for me, what I can do to get things going in the right direction?

 

Feel free to message me if you want.

 

Thanks everyone for reading!

[Hi Its Me]

In my opinion, and very recent personal experience. It takes time to change certain "wrong" things about you, such as neglecting someone or reacting a certain way which bothers them. You may feel different now, but have you been in a scenario where your new-found attitude was tested and you succeeded? I am telling you this because if you decide to meet up too early, and you react as you used to before, it will scare her off forever. The good thing is that whilst things ended horribly (your words, not mine) she still seems open to the possibilities, though I am sure she is still quite skeptical.

 

What I think you should do is go to very limited contact since you both are on relatively good terms at the moment but keep things light. Keep her posted on your progress (but not too much detail) every once in a while and when you think you can handle the awkward scenario of meeting your ex (including remaining calm to anything she might say or do - which includes "I went out a few times and met.." and also feel the improvement is visible enough for her to notice, suggest meeting for a coffee or something. Some place public, with other people close by as this takes off some of the pressure in just being two exes in a void place.

[MikNomis]

^ Listen to that and follow it closely. Less is more in these situations.

[t1lersm0m1]

One month of no contact is not long enough. It's not enough time to change. You can only prove you have changed through your actions. I would suggest you ask her to keep the door open to reconciliation while you continue working on yourself. She may agree, she may not agree. She may tell you she will wait, and end up moving on with someone else.

 

However, you can't force her to be ready now. You've told her how you feel and what you are doing to change. The ball is now in her court. I say you continue working on yourself and focus on YOU rather than on HER or the relationship.