Help..marriage advice

[puppy87]

Hi.. I am new here. I have been with my partner for 5 years, married for 8 months. All we seem to do is fight & argue. Im just over it, i feel emotionally exhausted. I love him and I want it to work but something deep in my heart tells me I married the wrong man. Im very outgoing, and his just the opposite. Never puts in any effort with my interests or friends, and only does things with me if he wants too, not because sometimes I want too. I feel I am very supportive towards him & his decisions, always put in effort with his friends. I think im a great wife, I look after him, cook everyday & make sure our house is tidy and clean all the time. I just feel like he doesnt appreciate me enough and sometimes I feel like this isnt what I want anymore. But i dont know is thats true because I really do love him but most of the time I am unhappy..

 

I dont know what to do. We talk about it and he promises he will change but he hasnt and never does. He will for like 2 weeks and then thats it his back to his usual ways. Help me I feel stuck and confused...

[fireflies]

I'm so sorry you're going through this. To put it bluntly, he doesn't really change, because he doesn't have to. He knows that you love him and have put up with him thus far, so he just makes enough effort to temporarily keep the peace.

 

5 years is plenty of time to see the pattern of a relationship. Your heart just hasn't quite caught up with your eyes. Couple's therapy may be in order. If he refuses to go, then you'll have to decide if being married to someone who willfully takes you for granted is worth your sacrificed happiness.

[Lester]

Could you say you were compatible before marriage?

Did you have a respectful dating/discovery period.

How long did you date? (It's not dating once you move in together.)

 

You must know if you had a marriage before you can fix a marriage.

[rainbowunicorn]

Your posts sounds like me several years ago. Wonderful man, we never fought until after marriage. Theneven though I took care of the house and did everything at home to show I was grateful and respectful to him, im called an ungrateful b****. After years of trying to figure out what exactly I was doing wrong, waking up every morning with the intention of starting new again, doing everything in my power to make it all about him, I finally realized that there is nothing I am doing wrong. He is the one who does not care, who has not tried to make things work. For over 7 years, my life has revolved around a man who has used and abused me. So my advice is to run and never look back. He will not change, no matter how many times he says he will. You do not deserve to be treated that way. It may not seem that bad now, but the longer you wait the harder it is to get away.