Miss1994 Posted August 11, 2014 Share Posted August 11, 2014 I need an outlook and some advice on my dating life. I've only had one serious relationship that actually got past the dating stage or the getting to know each other stage. I have been on 4-5 dates now and all of them end up turning out the same way. I usually do online dating. That's how I get dates. (I'm not a flirt and am not good with getting guys.) The guys usually always says I look pretty or that I'm beautiful, and they always say they had fun on the date and most of them say they want to see me again. But then soon after that they start acting funny and then they just stop talking to me. I don't understand why. They never have a reason to give me. They just leave. I haven't got past the dating stage with any of these guys. I don't sleep with them on the date either. I make them wait for that. So whats the deal? Maybe they see me as the friend type? I'm 19 and date guys my age. Should I date older guys? Im starting to think there is something wrong with me. Like Im not good enough. it's really bringing me down. Link to comment
jjkk Posted August 11, 2014 Share Posted August 11, 2014 When I was 19 I'd only had one official bf, too. You're still young! I'd suggest right now just date around, have fun and use this experience to find out more about yourself. Just enjoy meeting new people and having new experiences. I suggest spending a little bit of time just dating around NOT looking for anything serious. And stick to your no sleeping w/ them plan, good job on that!! There's no rush right now. I spent 2 years actively searching for a long term bf and ended up getting married quickly when I found one. We've since divorced and one thing I wish I'd have done when I look back is just spend time dating around and having fun w/out worrying about getting a bf. Link to comment
JGintheOC Posted August 12, 2014 Share Posted August 12, 2014 Online dating usually is full of men/women who typically are being shallow or wasting time and pulling games. I've never had luck with that either in the past. Link to comment
shellyf62 Posted August 12, 2014 Share Posted August 12, 2014 I have found the same thing, most guys that I have met from online dating are only after "fun". Stick to your guns, don't sleep with them, and hopefully the right one will come along. God luck Link to comment
notalady Posted August 12, 2014 Share Posted August 12, 2014 My experience with online dating has been that it's only good for if you are older, say mid to late 20s onwards and your age group say mid 20s to early 30s may be starting to look more seriously for something long term. This may not always be the case, as some people here have pointed out their experience is in the contrary. But I find there are more guys who are serious and genuine in that age group, I can only speak to my own experience of course. It is possible that the guys you met only wanted something casual and when they see they can't get to sleep with you easily (good on you for standing your ground by the way), they leave. I highly doubt that something is wrong with you. Think of it as a good thing, you don't want people like that in your life. 19 is really young, I just started dating my first official bf when I was 19 lol.. Wasn't even thinking long term back then! I would suggest you just focus on doing things that you love for now. Maybe you can go to more social events (I don't mean parties) and interest groups and see if you can meet more people your age that way? Link to comment
Miss1994 Posted August 12, 2014 Author Share Posted August 12, 2014 Thank you! I guess I am so focused on having a long term boyfriend because everyone else around me has someone. I feel like people look down on me for still not having a boyfriend. It's not that I don't want one, just cant find one. I think I just need to focus on me. Link to comment
notalady Posted August 12, 2014 Share Posted August 12, 2014 Thank you! I guess I am so focused on having a long term boyfriend because everyone else around me has someone. I feel like people look down on me for still not having a boyfriend. It's not that I don't want one, just cant find one. I think I just need to focus on me. If you're feeling that now, try being 29 and one of the only few of your friends that's not married and/or have kids Do people actually say or show in any way that they "look down" on you for being single, at 19?! If they do, they are not worth your time, get new friends. Or it could be just in your head. Link to comment
Miss1994 Posted August 12, 2014 Author Share Posted August 12, 2014 Well my friends always say stuff like "dang when are you going to date?" Or "your still single? Wow" Link to comment
notalady Posted August 12, 2014 Share Posted August 12, 2014 Well my friends always say stuff like "dang when are you going to date?" Or "your still single? Wow" Yea that's rude. You shouldn't have to justify your life, whether it's by choice or not, to anyone. Tell them it's none of their business and leave it at that. Also, they don't sound like real friends if they say stuff like that to you. I suggest you get new friends. Link to comment
shellyf62 Posted August 12, 2014 Share Posted August 12, 2014 Try being 52 and curvy!!!! Men in my age bracket only seem to want a FWB or to date a younger lady. Then I have my mother calling me & asking "have you met a man yet".......hmmmmm Link to comment
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