Odd problems between my ex and myself

[MickeyD]

My exgirlfriend and I broke up 2 years ago. Recently, we started talking again and we've been entertaining ideas about getting back together in some way or form.

 

We talk a lot online, and she's essentially told me she has feelings for me and she wants something to happen between us. She's also shown me journal entries (written entries, not livejournal) where she talks about her feelings for me.

So far we've hung out twice since we've started talking like this, and the last time we hung out, we kissed. We have really good conversations and we get along as well as we did when we were together.

 

Now here's the problem. She asks me to hang out 100% of the time. Often I'll ask if she's busy during a certain time and she'll say "no, we should do something". The problem is that at least 90% of the time, she disappears right before we're supposed to hang out, and she won't answer her phone after disappearing. I've called her on this, and sometimes she'll admit there's a problem. Other times she won't. She's told me something along the lines that she's afraid of getting hurt, which doesn't make much sense to me.

 

This same thing has been happening for 2 years now, since we broke up. It's obvious to me we're going to keep coming back to each other for a while now, and this is the 2nd time this year I've had to deal with this exact same situation. I'd like to know what I can possibly do to get her to stop doing this.

[shuntaro603]

i think u shouldn't get back together with her. apparently the reason u guys broke up is still a problem for u guys. and if u guys don't work this out, what's the point of getting back togethre and relive what happened 2 years ago?

 

Good luck

[MickeyD]

Her disappearing is not the reason we broke up. The relationship was pretty good 2 years ago and would be worth it if we worked it out.

[Naya2279]

Hiya Mickey,

 

I'm kinda in your same situation. The ex and I started talking again and he wants to get together and stuff, but whenever I want to get together he's always busy. I just finally started to realize that he only calls me when he doesn't have anything else to do. Kind of like a back up you could say. I let him take me for granted that I would always be there.

 

Well, that's just not gonna happen anymore. Yeah, I still care for him a lot and I wish that we could get back together, but he's just not worth it to me. I can't settle for being the "back-up."

 

I don't know if I helped at all, but it's kind of working for me. I just resist the urge to call him and always say I'm busy when he calls now, if I pick up at all. Hope this helped.

[MickeyD]

Thanks Naya.

 

I think that's a great course of action. But the problem is I can't commit to that. I'm sort of irrationally attached to this girl since she was my first serious girlfriend, and I think the opposite is also true with her.

 

I actually did just what you described earlier this year, and it worked. But we tend to gravitate back towards each other, and now here I am again.