Mixed Signals or Backup Plan

[Foolish heart]

I feel that I am at a point where I should end the relationship or whatever it is considered that I am involved in. We may see each other every couple of weeks. Part of the reason is that she lives about an hour away and it seems that outside of texting that has been the form of communication. It did not start out this way.

 

We have been seeing each other going on two years at this point. I think that I am more emotionally invested in her than what she is in me at this point.

 

I would have thought that at 48 she would prefer to have an actual conversation as opposed to texting as infrequent as that has become.

I think the final straw occurred yesterday when she texted me that she was leaving work early because of a migraine and that her son was flying in the next day and she may need to pick him up at the airport. It just feels as if she was coming up with another excuse to break another date.

It seems that her words are out of alignment with her actions. I will get the Good morning Sunshine text and not have any more communication with her until the next day .I have tried to get an answer to what are we and I can’t seem to get an answer. My gut tells me that her attentions are being directed to someone else at this point.

 

I would prefer for her to tell me the truth so we can both move on

 

I don’t feel that I am overreacting or am I?

[t1lersm0m1]

She is telling you the truth through her ACTIONS, if not through her words. You are unhappy. End it.

[Foolish heart]

It's funny that I know what has to be done. In any rational relationship situation that does not involve ourselves the decision is very clear. It helps just talking to someone that can look at things from a different viewpoint.

 

Changes in behavior from people is a good indicator that something has changed in a relationship.

 

Thank you

[t1lersm0m1]

Yes, those are called "red flags" (the changes in behavior). Someone with healthy self esteem can identify them and leave the relationship. For me, I had very unhealthy self esteem, so when red flags were SCREAMING at me to open my eyes, I kept them closed and ignored them, and got very very hurt.

[janut1]

I agree and it happened to me too. My X was doing the hot/cold thing in May. He would text me all day and call me frequently, but we weren't seeing each other as much. When I asked he would say work is busy and he isn't sure when it will let up. BUT We always made time for each other no matter how busy his work was, so that was just an excuse. It was hurtful and definitely a RED FLAG! I finally got it and just decided I had enough.

 

I would encourage you to speak to her in person though if possible. Ending it on text is not the way to go as it is very hard to read emotions. My 19 month relationship ended on text. I still don't understand how we broke up with just a few words and no closure what so ever. If I had to do it over, I would of waited to talk to him in person so I could see his face and maybe understand more why it happened and what was going on with him to make him act the way he was. I will forever be left in the dark unfortunately.

[Foolish heart]

I have every intent of doing it in person. As it should be done. When I talk to her tonite I won't even mention that I think she is dating. I want to focus on the things that are not working for me because ultimately it takes two people to be happy in a relationship.

 

At one point we were friends on FB and she deleted me last year when we were ending things. I just never reestablished or sent her another request once we started seeing each other again. I did notice that about two weeks ago she added a new male friend that lives in Colorado. She had always bragged that I was the closest guy she had dated. I know she has no issues with long distance relationships.

 

I do have a longer post in relationships that give a little more background on the relationship.

 

Thanks for listening