Once a cheater, always a cheater?

[bzborow1]

I'm starting this post, not because I need any help. But rather, I would like to know if this statement is really accurate. Has anyone cheated on past bf/gf's and changed their ways? Has someone cheated on you, and then completely changed their ways?

 

I'm asking because I am a believer in this statement now. I dated a girl for 5 years. 2 years into the relationship, she told me she had been sleeping with her EX for a couple of weeks straight when we were first dating. I was furious, we took time off, but we got back together and were going great for 3 more years.

 

That's when it happened again. She went on a University trip, a trip i encouraged because I was comfortable with it. I'm not controlling...etc...etc. Anyways, she cheated on me with someone there. Said she needed time alone to be by herself, and got on a plane to where he lived to spend another week with the guy. She says it was an intense need to get away, but we all know it was an intense need to ***.

 

So...is there any bad stories? Any uplifting stories? Just throwing this subject out there.

[DealingWithIt]

I totally agree with "Once A Cheater, Always A Cheater".

 

My ex cheated on me 2 years into our relationship and I didn't find out until we were together more than 3 years. It was a long distance relationship and he wasn't treating me the same way as he did when we first got together. Needless to say that when I found out the truth NOT from him but from the other girl...it was devastating. I didn't make any attempts to contact him at all. Fast forward to three months later and I was finally at that stage where I'm happy and have move on....I got a phone call from my ex. He now wants to hook up with me behind his now gf....Now thats a testament to "Once A Cheater, Always A Cheater".

 

My advice to you... You may forgive them but never forget.

[bzborow1]

nobody with stories??? hehe.

[kelsey7210]

i think the phrase "once a cheater always a cheater" is sometimes true and sometimes false. in my past experience, the guy i was going out with for 2 years cheated on me and now its been 6 years and he hasnt done it ever again. if you really love this girl, you should be able to trust her and let her know it hurt you and you wont put up with that. ok well good luck with your relationship and i hope it works out with you too!

Love,

kp

[Enrique]

I have to disagree, and actually have a story. I have a long story with my GF. We dated 3 months, the 8 months, then one year. However, I cheated on her, once, (not an affair) on the first two months of our last year together. I can´t explain how that happened and actually i feel very bad. I just told her a couple of months ago, and we are apart for the time being (while she decides if we are to continue together). I have never cheated on her before, nor have a cheated on her after that stupid mistake, and definitely I wouldn´t cheat on her after that mistake (if she takes me back of course I think that to say if someone who cheated will always cheat it is necessary to see the reason of the infidelity. If the person who committed the infidelity is a "thrill-seeker" i think he/she will always be a cheater. I know I won´t.

[babyswan]

hi,im new here.

my husband of 20 years had an affair with his ex/ back about 1 year ago.

for me,it almost killed me.

i have been to so many site's,trying to get my question's answered.

but none satisfying yet.

you see,i think,he had this affair for 3 years. i know,however,for 1 full year.

but the thing is,when i got proof,and confronted him.

it was like everything exploded. i went to his ex-wife's husband and told him.

then,because of this,my husband told me,to get my stuff and get out of "his" house. which,this house is in both "our" names. mine being the top.

anyway,my husband has been thru so much sickness. over a 4 year period,he had back surgury,cancer,and other problems.

the thing is, during all this time,i stuck by him.

you know it says,"for better or worse"!

but anyway,that day,he made me leave for 3 days,i ask him this first.

i said,tell me this. why did you do this to me? what had i done to you,to deserve this?

he said,well,it's like this. even thou,i divorced my ex- for cheating on me.

i love her,always have and always will. i said,what about me? then why did you marry me? no answer there.

but he said,however i do love you,but in a diffrent way.

can somebody,please explain the "diffrent way" to me??????

my husband and his ex,put me thru living hell for 3 years.

however,we are still together now. i really don't know why thou.

i guess,for convenience.

i to thou,am scared,hurt,depressed,and everything.

of course we had no children,which im so thankful to this day.

also,i wanted to know all the little details to. you see,my husband doesn't work.

they were having there little affair,while i was at work everyday.

i want to know like where they would meet,what they talked about,all those little things. i feel like i had a right to know.

would anyone in here feel the same if it happened to you?? i would love to have some feed back on this.

plus,the last thing he said to me was this. DO NOT EVER THROW THIS UP IN MY FACE AGAIN PERIOD!

i haven't forgiven him,or forgotten it. how do i cope,or deal with this?

i wonder every day,when driving to work.

is it true,"once a cheater,always a cheater"?

[Redviolet]

I believe that a person can change. Technically, I didn't cheat on my ex, but I know I hurt him very badly. He claims that I cheated on him, but I didn't. I had some unanswered questions in my life that I wanted to answer, so I broke up with him. The way I broke up with him was very wrong, but I won't get into that. I loved him then, as I do now. And I know that I have changed my ways, and that if I could get him back, I would never hurt him again.

 

Personally, I think that girls are more forgiving if their bfs cheated on them. But men have built-in pride, and it's harder for them to forgive.