advice 4 broken hearts

[tiki]

so you've been dumped huh? Feel like your world just crumbled and you are at your lowest point?

 

Been there...done that..it's hard dealing with it!!!

 

about 6 months ago my boyfriend broke up with me and i stumbled accross this website while i was in desperate search for some kind of support. I pretty much leaned on random people on this site who were going through the same situations. It kept me sane while my whole world was going crazy.

 

i've done my fair share of depression and now i can honestly say that I feel soooo much better. I am much happier than i have ever been with myself. SO i figured that i owe it to everyone to post a topic about the things i did to escape my "BLACK HOLE"

 

 

FIRST

Everyone in this site goes by the famous "NC (no contact) RULE"

I say forget about that rule and go with your instincts. I agree that its not the smartest idea to keep contact with your ex because it initiates false hope, but you wont understand the significance of this unless you make the mistakes and see for yourself. SO go ahead....keep talking to your ex....but i have to warn you that sooner or later you will realize that you are better off not talking to them at all.

 

SECOND

KEEP YOURSELF BUSY....BUSY...BUSY....BUSY......

It doesnt matter what you do...just do something to keep yourself occupied. The last thing you need is to feel like you dont have a life without your ex. Since i cant run away from my problems...i literally ran instead. I was never the type of person to run for fun but i was sooo depressed and desperate to try anything at all so I ran everyday. ...There were days when i ran as fast as i could and just start crying out of frustration. It was the best way to release some anger. It also helped me get into shape.

 

THIRD

The only person who can help you is yourself. Your friends can try to understand and relate to what you are going through but in the END...you are the only one who is truly feeling the pain....so find peace within yourself. Stop asking why...what...how...blah blah..cuz it JUST DOESNT MATTER ANYMORE.....

 

FOURTH

keep your life simple. Get rid of everything that is making you unhappy or the things that you simply do not need in your life. What is the point in keeping something if it only makes you feel bad?

 

FIFTH

Do something new. Anything that you always wanted to do...but never had the gutts to......

JUST GO DO IT....who cares....i mean if you are truly at your lowest point...you really do not have anything to loose......

 

d*mn......i could say a lot more but i have to get ready for work....

i dunno if this will help anyone but i just felt the need to do it.......

 

if you have any comments or questions just post it...i dont visit this site that often anymore but i will try....

[onelove777]

Dang, Tiki - where have you been?!?! I've been searching the internet for a month for that post! BLESS YOU!!! I have a very broken heart. You really don't want to hear my story - it's posted on this site somewhere - if you see it you will probably say i deserve to feel pain - and I guess you'd be right - but despite the fact that I fricked up ROYALLY, I am still a human being with feelings, and after being made to feel miserable (both from myself as well as others) I think eventually i should have the right to heal and feel happiness again. I have been trying to fill the hole in my heart and in my life, but end up sitting at home surfing ...looking for ...relief from the pain ...thank you so much for the suggestions ...can you think of any good HEALTHY places to meet people? (I'm trying to stay away from bars, and have had some difficulty at church too!) anyway, even if you do think I'm a dirtball, I really appreciate your post - you've helped me a lot. God bless you!

[artsy]

The advice is needed for so many of us that you gave. Here it is Christmas Eve and tonight (on schedule) I'm reflecting this past year. Specifically the past 2 years and how breaking up with my ex of 9 years has been wonderful.

 

The caveat here however is that my summer fling has been a HUGE disappointment (something I never inteded to be a fling). I'd call it a very romantic cul-de-sac; that I'd love to forget; but can't. I wish I'd never met him yet I still long for him and this holiday crap always makes it worse (as we all know).

 

I am focusing on NC tonight to stay sane for New Years. I keep wondering why my inner B***H hasn't taken over to tell me he's not worth it and a loser or he'd realize but since I had a relationship for 9 years go out the door and he's battleing a rebound situation himself (that resulted in my hurt!)....I kind of understand and hate him ever more for that.

 

Anyhow regardless of all that I TOTALLY AGREE with you thoughts on moving on, letting go of the pain, and realizing it's not worth it. I just hope all of us can find what we want eventally.....like many girls my greatest fear is being single forever, and since I'm 31 going on 32 in Kentucky I'm fearful I won't find the right one in enough time to one day have kids. Fear is all that THAT is though and I try to LAUGH at fear...hate the thing.

I'd be less afraid of skydiving or snakes though...so go figure!...lol

 

Anyhow....Hope everyone is having a happy holiday and any words of encouragement is always nice....wish me luck in my NC stance through the holidays....maybe I'll survive it and it gets over with quick!.....nite! javascript