Lovelavie Posted May 21, 2014 Share Posted May 21, 2014 I've been with my boyfriend for 6 months now. I've been having issues with him since the beginning of our relationship because every time we would hang out, his friends were always involved and he never wanted to do anything just the two of us, unless it was going to the movies on a sunday night. I was always the one suggesting him coming over to my house and stay chatting in bed, doing silly stuff and just getting to know each other better and he would claim it was boring and that he couldn't stand staying at home. The thing is, I do love going out, staying at home is not really my thing either and I rarely turn down an invitation to go out dancing... but now that I'm in a relationship I do enjoy the times where we just stay at home cuddling but I can count on my fingers the times we've done that when we had the choice to go out with his friends. The thing is, I was always the one calling him over, asking him to go to the gym with me, have dinner here with me, or just come over and give me a kiss (we live only 10 minutes apart), but it would always end in a fight because he would throw in my face that he would rather have his "space" and do all that stuff at home, that he even enjoyed sleeping alone better than sleeping with me! As time went on, I got tired of this and stopped calling him over and making an effort to see him at times both of us were doing absolutely nothing. He would claim he'd rather stay at home by himself watching TV the entire day than coming over and spending the day with me. I get that we all need personal space, but this was happening EVERY single weekend. He then started inviting himself over, to go to the gym, etc but I turned him down saying that if he liked so much doing everything by himself, than that's what he should do. The thing is, I was so traumatized of him throwing in my face that he came over because I invited him and not because he wanted to, and that I was annoying and clingy and that it was stuff for married people to do and we were far from marriage, that I decided it was best to just leave it alone. He now says that he's been inviting himself over and participating in my life more because he likes me more now and our relationship is better, and it made me upset because we got into so many useless arguments and it made me think that it was because he didn't like me enough, while I've always liked him enough to want to be with him than staying at home doing nothing... I can't trust him because I feel that if I call him over he'll say how annoying it is and how clingy I am when he was the one who said that wanted to come over in the first place! I'm just confused, because I want to spend time with him, but I never know how he feels about it, because one day he'll say he enjoys it and the next he'll be complaining about it... I've told him several times that I want him to be honest with me, but at the same time I'm upset that he didn't want to spend time with me simply because he didn't want to. I feel like he was being fake to me this whole time and now I've stopped making plans for both of us because I've started to think we're not supposed to do anything that involves just the two of us because it's "stuff for married people to do". Link to comment
catfeeder Posted May 21, 2014 Share Posted May 21, 2014 So you have a guy who's pretty confident that you're never busy doing anything but sitting around waiting for him to decide whether he feels like showing up at your place whenever he wants. Is that really good enough for you? What does this guy bring to the table that's so fabulous? I'd give him the boot, I'd go out with my friends instead, and I'd find someone who wants to be a BF who I can count on as much as he counts on me. Head high, you deserve better. Link to comment
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